If I never get my memoirs written, I hope at least my demons will write one. That would probably be more interesting anyway. They have a lot of stories to tell.
17/10 2016
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Today will be a good day. This is your warning. Let’s make it a good week too, for good measure.
17/10 2016
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Good goat times today. Grey, but almost no rain. About 10C/50F. Helped to have a little mini-scarf around my neck, under my coat. Still brought out hand-warmers at the end of the day, though.
No one there but me today. I guess because it’s fall vacation in Denmark. So I got to take the goats out in the morning. And put them back in when I left, for the first time at the new place. Showed the diference between the goaties. I had to wrestle Mia a bit to get her to stay in the stall she shares with Mio. Then I figured I’d have to go round up A38, because surely she would have skipped town to go galivanting outside after I took the big girls in. Nope. She was standing, quietly waiting outside her private stall. I have never met such a well mannered, little goat.
Lots of fun in between taking them out and putting them back in. More than I had bargained for, even. Mia was walking along the fence and I looked up and.. wait, was she OUTSIDE the fence? Yes. She was. Escape artist. I thought she must had jumped the fence. Which would be bad news, I think she probably COULD jump the fence if motivated enough. But I don’t want her to realise that, because then she might be jumping it all the time, when I’m not there too. Which surely is how Peanut ran things when he stayed there. But okay, I climbed the fence and dragged Mia around the building to get her through the door and back in the pen. I probably could have made it a little easier on her by getting the leash or luring her with food. But I figured making the experience a little bit unpleasant might deter her from doing it again. She employed her usualy tactic of pacifist resistance. Aka dropping to her knees and making it hard to drag her anywhere. But I got her back in the pen. We went over to the fene again and I was making sure she couldn’t get a running start to jump the fence… but then.. she was outside again. And then I saw, a hole in the mesh wiring. She didn’t jump the fence. She went through the hole. Oh my. Well, I figured instead of getting her back in the pen I’d take the two others out and let them all do a little trimming of the bushes outside. So I ploppped an old tire up to block the hole and then I started bringing Mio and A38 out through the door and around the building to join Mia. And when we got around the building… Mia was back in the pen. I guess she jumped the fence to get IN. Sheesh. Seeing me take the two others in through the door gave her the motivation to pull that off. She does not like being left alone. So, I took the tire down and let her go through the hole to join us outside. And then we spent some time eating leaves. Well, I let the goats eat them while I snuck a peanut for myself from my treat pocket. I don’t eat them with the shell, though.
Later on a family came by. I was sitting at the fence with the goats, so they got some good goat interaction. They said they could see a baby or babies moving in Mio’s tummy. I am not sure that’s acurate. But I am no longer flatly denying it when people ask if she’s pregnant. There’s a good chance, I think. Later still a group of kids walked by.. A boy with a football and a couple of girls. One of the girls called out “Miiiia, Miaaa”. Mia didn’t come over, haha. But it’s nice to know people in the neighbourhood are learning their names.

And that concludes today’s Goat Tales.
17/10 2016
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I should be ready for fall.

17/10 2016
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My regular pizza guy is back. And delivery was faster than promised. DID YOU EVER KNOW THAT YOU’RE MY HEEEEERO
17/10 2016
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Here’s a little Behind The Scenes video. Mio watching me set up the camera and getting cucumbers. And of course Mia comes running when she sees me going to the backpack.
17/10 2016
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Be Sleep Now
17/10 2016
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Today will be a good day. We got this far, let’s just keep going.
18/10 2016
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Good goat times today. Grey, little bit of rain. Not too bad. The goats were out when I got there. Always nice to be greeted by Mia’s hollering. A nice and quiet time today, no escapes or anything. I did have a bit of a sad moment, though. I was sitting down, looking at A38. When came to think of my old buddy Mads. He looked a lot like Yogi, only with fewer colours. And a girlier bleat. I thought of my last day with him. And started to tear up. Then Mio came walking out of the door and slowly walked over to me and stood still up against me, like she always does. Like I’m a magnet. And I started scratching her ears. And behind me Mia stopped gnawing on the bunch of branches that are still lying in a pile in the pen. She walked around me and stood next to Mio. And I had both hands full of goats to cuddle while watching A38. You have to be happy with what you have. See the good that’s there. Everything changes. People, animals, the world. You can’t stop that. But enjoy what you have while you have it. That’s one of the most important things for me to try to remember. Appreciate what I have. I may be almost blind, but I’m not blind. I may have lost some wonderful goat friends. But I have some wonderful goat friends. I may feel alone a lot of the time, but I have an army of people that are always there when I need it. An army of kindness. And when it gets cold I can afford to buy an overpriced wellness quilt. Hashtag blessed.
18/10 2016
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One from the archives. Sweet Mads.
18/10 2016
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It is a pretty season

18/10 2016
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Lots of clown reports these days in Denmark. My first thought when I heard about people dressing up as clowns and being spooky was “Oh cool, that’s creepy and kinda neat and it’s like bringing some Stephen King to the real world”. And I started reading about the things the clowns were doing. And realisd that they were just jacklasses harrassing people, just doing it in clown masks. Just more unkindness. I hate unkindness. Throwing rocks at people or chasing women walking their dogs at night isn’t okay just because you’re wearing a clown mask.
18/10 2016
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Well, I think this is the first time I’ve had to edit the F word out of one of my goat videos…
18/10 2016
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Okay. off to bed. Let the clowns eat me if they want. Worm food, clown food, fast food, junk food. We’re all food for someone some day. Assuming my theory that our universe is salt corn on a french fry in a happy meal of a giant interdimensial 400l pound hacker living in the basement of Mr and Mrs God [in your religion] is correct.
Goodnight!
18/10 2016
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

19/10 2016
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Come, come, nuclear pizza

19/10 2016
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Today in the news QUICK HERE’S SOME KITTENS DON’T LOOK AT THE NEWS.
That’s how my news site would be. Also it would have a lot of stories about goats and pizza and why visually impaired people should get to scratch 2 numbers before they decide whether to buy the lottery ticket.
19/10 2016
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Just ordered myself a box of assortedJapanese candy and snacks. Because… why not? I mean, I better get used to it. If [Presidential candidate you don’t agree with] wins, I’ll definitely be moving to Japan. And I know that doesn’t make sense since I live in Denmark. But you don’t get to write the rules of my tale. I am a free spirit and I cannot be contained by such outdated tropes as logic, sense or ‘not being stupid’.
19/10 2016
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goatlog from the big rainy day.
Part 1

and part 2

20/10 2016
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The hiiiiills are alive, with me not watching the debate.
20/10 2016
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Today will be a good day. HERE’S MORE KITTENS
20/10 2016
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Good goat times today. What do I spy with my single working eye? Sunshine. I can’t remember the last time I got to spend time in the sun with the goats. Still cold. But so much nicer when it’s sunny. Must have rained last night, though, because there was a lot of mud. Parts of the pasture are getting quite soggy. Territory for the goats to avoid. Me as well. But otherwise it’s good. Giving the goats lots of love and treats. What more could you need?
20/10 2016
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Not a bad day for it

20/10 2016
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Okay, I’m going to bed. I’m not feeling
20/10 2016
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Today will be a good day. I can do it. We can do it. Let’s do it.
21/10 2016
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I have a headache. And you know what? They don’t offer aspirin as a pizza topping. This seems like a strange oversight.
21/10 2016
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Under a blanket of fall, a banquet of colour.

21/10 2016
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It’s times like these that I wish my watch hadn’t broken, so I could tell what time it is.
21/10 2016
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Conan the Burparian. He… well he burps a lot.
No, I think that one’s going back in the drawer.
21/10 2016
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Dog walking man

22/10 2016
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Today will be a good day. I’m gonna take a nap. Then I’m going to exercise. Then I’m going to go on Facebook and write about what I’ll be doing for the rest of the day. Then I’ll do half of the things I said I’d do. Have a good weekend, alls.
22/10 2016
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Another one in my pretentious “Humans and the fall” series.

22/10 2016
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That’s it, South Park. You’re on my list!
22/10 2016
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Well, I talked it over with the government and I’m afraid they insist I join in on Denmark’s quitting of the social media. I hereby announce the closing of my Facebook account. If you guys want to chat you can snailmail me:
Lasse Me Henetchetera
Under the bridge
Trollslayerville
Denmark
.
PS just kidding.
PPS. South Park, I would have consulted on these episodes for free. Some of your Danishments are a little.. off. Kudos on Lennart Bedrager, though. That’s straight outta Casper & Mandrilaftalen.
PPPS. Member Corellian Corvette?
22/10 2016
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I hereby announce that I’m changing my name to SouthLasse Henriksenpark and from now on instead of goat videos I’ll only be posting South Park videos.
Just kidding.
I’ll be changing my name to RickLasse RollMortyface McGoatbusters and I will only be posting obscure facts about 80s pop bands that played gigs in continental Denmark. With bonus videos of Poul Thomsen explaining the mating habits of Danish fauna and flora. Please contribute to my kickstarter if you want more of this content. I can be reached at HowAmIDrivingYouCrazy@emailkilledthepostalworker dut dut dut dut dut
22/10 2016
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To make up for all that gibberish, here is a picture of Mio. Clearly judging me for my poor Facebook etiquette. And lack of giving her treatsness.

22/10 2016
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Bedtime for Pizzaface Goatriksen. PLease remember to subscribe to my newsletter and bookmark my zine and add my blog to your blogroll and exorcise my livejournal and apply for citizenship to my diaryland and send me money so i can build a wax figure of myself from every year of my life. Admittance to Lasseworld will only be allowed if you’re accompanied by an adult or someone with a really convincing fake ID. There are no refunds or spoons, so bring your own cutlery, general Custard. For vacancy apply within, generously on all afflicted body parts. The end. And the legs, and the arms etc.
22/10 2016
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

23/10 2016
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goatlog

23/10 2016
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My kickstarter to make Hamilton as performed by Moomins is going surprisingly poor. I guess I overestimated the demand for Moomins.
Also, the cold is creeping in, sneaking in. The floorboards are creaking and the windows are shaking. There is one week until daylight savings change. Winter is coming.
23/10 2016
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I love A38’s kind eyes. And the way she looks up at me, like Kamel used to. Too polite to be pushy, but still goatily hoping for treats.

23/10 2016
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End of Facebook archive. Let’s go go goat photos.

And that’s all for this week, see you in the next one.

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