The worst pain had gone away. But then I sat down to process my videos from the last day with Mads. And it all came back to the surface. I miss him so much.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZONzzO7Ugtg. The last day. It hurts to watch, but it’s also beautiful. If I could I would always want to be there. Sitting in the grass with Mads. It’s a 10 minute video with nothing really happening. Just me and Mads.

I went to the playground today. The second time since Mads left, not counting the feeding on Saturday. It’s not the same. I feel bad saying that, because I do love the other goats. But I just miss him so much. It’s not the same without him. I don’t know if it ever will be.

videotape
When I’m at the pearly gates
This will be on my videotape, my videotape
Mephistopheles is just beneath
and he’s reaching up to grab me

No matter what happens now
I won’t be afraid
Because I know today has been the most perfect day I’ve ever seen.

Summer is back, with a vengeance. It’s been a couple of very hot days. And I do believe I read in the paper that Denmark has had its most sunny month of May since sometime in the 60s. So I can’t complain about the weather. Not much anyways.

Feeding the animals went fine yesterday. Apart from the sadness of Mads not being there. And apart from the fact that someone had forgotten to close all the doors in the goat house. The goat house is also the chicken/rabbit house. So when I pulled the sliding door open I was greeted by a big mess of bunnies, chickens and goats. Luckily none of the rabbits or chickens wanted to go outside. I could have spent all day chasing them around. But I got them in their proper places with no fuss. The goats, however, decided to go for a walk. My first instinct was to stop them. But then I figured, why not let them enjoy the sunshine? They went out back on the horse field. And I went about my work. When they heard me inside, putting their food in buckets, the immediately came to the (locked) hatch and wanted back in. Walking in the sunshine is only exciting until there is food inside. Then to heck with the sun! It was nice to let them in through the hatch, I don’t get to do that often. Seeing them jump in, one after the other.

Other than that, nothing new. Just trying to stay afloat. At least I don’t have a drinking problem…