I was so tired this morning that I didn’t put my underwear on right. I only discovered it when I went to the bathroom at work. I had the frontsies in the back and the backsies in the front. Now that’s tired!

Another lunch break update from work. I know tonight I will be tired and I will rather be playing with my Amiga emulator than updating. Although I’m still a little disappointed that an emulator has nothing to do with emus.

At least my back is almost back to normal. My mood is swinging though. Oddly. On Saturday I was happy, probably because of the playground job. On Sunday my back was aching so much that I didn’t pay attention to my emotional state. On Monday I was desperately depressed and feeling blue. I went for a short trip to the playground and it did help, but only for a while. When I got back I kicked my brother off the computer to go online. Five minutes later I asked him if he wanted the computer back, I couldn’t even manage to sit there. I just had to go to bed. Generally the new meds have helped, I’m not feeling awful all the time. But I still get some nasty dips where I have bad thoughts about ways to die and where I sleep so much that I only get more tired. Most of all I would like some peace. But who am I to ask for peace when the world is at war?

The playground job went well. I talked to Kurt yesterday. He said that Jannie had told him that there wasn’t enough water for the rabbits. I shall have to ask her if she meant the rabbits in the goat house or in the rabbit house. I am quite sure I gave them all water. Kurt said that it had been a very hot day, maybe that’s the explanation. No biggie in any case. They are all fine. Nina is missing though. Jannie didn’t see her on Sunday or Monday and they hadn’t seen her yesterday either. That is a little worrying. I really hope she will come back soon. Otherwise I will be paranoid that it’s my fault. But that’s silly. As I said, the first thing that happened when I got to the playground was her coming running up to me. And while I parked my bike she sort of casually walked around the door, as if she didn’t want me to know that she really wanted to go inside. When I opened the door she darted inside, while I turned off the alarm. And she went straight to her bowl of food. It had already been placed on a table so I didn’t even have to feed her. I did refill it though and gave her some fresh water. And when I let her out she was walking around normally while I was feeding the other animals. So it’s not like I did anything wrong. But I am apparently the last one who has seen her. And I can be awfully insecure.

I hope she’ll turn up. Soon.

I hope Moomincat will pop in soon too. I haven’t seen him in ages. I am probably to blame for it, what with spending more time at the playground because of the goat kids and trying not to stay home in bed all day depressed. So my window has been close more often and maybe he has found other roofs to fiddle on. I did see the back of him once, walking by the window outside. But he was gone before I could open the door and see if he wanted to come in.

Man, I need a cat of my own.

Oh yes, Annie Lee, in case you didn’t see my response to your comment I just wanted to say a thank you, a little late, but I very much appreciated your note.
As I appreciate all your notes. Having a connection to such nice people, that helps me a lot. In all my ups and downs.

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