When I am rich and famous I will commision a group of inventors to create some sort of shower dome. Like a cross between a shower and a bath tub. A place where you could spend the whole day when it is this hot. If you do that in a normal shower then you’ll run up a huge water bill. Plus it’s not very comfy. A tub is comfy, but again you will pump up the water bill if you keep the water running. In my bubble you would have the water cascading down on you. Not in a tight stream like a shower. No, generously scattered all over you. And the water would then run down some drains and through a filtering system to clean it up a little and then transported back to the top of the dome and so on, in a long cycle.

You could lie there or sit. And there would be accessories. Waterproof accessories. Waterproof TV. Waterproof computer. Waterproof books and magazines. Waterproof steak and vegetables. Waterproof icecream cones. Anything your heart could desire.

You wouldn’t have to fiddle with some knob to adjust the heat. It would be all digital. And the computer would remember your personal preferences. So when I went in there I’d say “Computer, the usual please” and it would use the appropriate settings. It would be able to recognise voices too. So if my supermodel wife went in there then it would optimize the system for her. And when my child progidy, little Plume Junior, comes home from his piano recital at the UN the system would make sure to have rubber duckies ready for him.

And you could sleep in there. Is it possible to sleep with water showering you? I have often wondered. But my shower is much too small for that. And if you go to sleep in a tub you’ll just drown. My dome would definitely be designed so you could sleep in it.

I would make a good Crazy Rich Guy. I already have a lot of the Crazy part down. I just need some monies. I don’t get why all the money goes to the hard-working people? They don’t enjoy it. They just work to make more. I think the money should go to people who know how to have fun. When I am rich and famous I will hand out money to lazy bums, to homeless people, to the unemployed, to the social phobic, to the handicapped. My only condition would be that they had to have fun with it. If society is going to break down then I hope it breaks down because people are too busy having fun, not because they are too busy working or because they invent robots that run amok or because North Korea fires long-range missiles at the US and everything explodes or because all the power runs out. It should break down because we are running through meadows and dancing in the sunshine and throwing snowballs at each other. (I figure we have obtained the power of climate control by then). And while the cities crumble we will be living in tents and teepees and we will stuff the fireplaces with old money notes that no longer represent any value beyond the sentimentality and memories of the old days.

And all the copyright lawyers will be burning in hell.

Amen.

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