It Came From The Dessert
Life, it goes on.
Yesterday I met Big Tiger. And today I took care of Little Tiger at the playground. It is almost like they are connected. Like the senile, old waiter and the weird giant in Twin Peaks. When you meet one, you will meet the other soon.
God, it’s so cute. Wonderful little kitten. It looks bigger in the pictures. In real life it is tiny. With great big paws, though. And so cute, so cute, so cute. Making tremendous leaps in the air, trying to catch a fly. Pounding my water bottle. playing with my lens cap. Licking me on the nose. This is so much better than being with humans. I don’t get humans. They’re much too complicated.
After working at the playground I went and did some shopping, Outside were some boys. Sitting on a carpet. Selling stuff. What’s that called? A garage sale? only without a garage. They asked if I wanted to buy something. I said no. That was just a knee-jerk social phobic response though. A response that meant “I can’t deal with this”. I thought about it while I was in the store. When I came back out I bought a stuffed animal. Just to buy something. And then they helped me load my groceries in my saddlebags. So I tipped them. I gave them all my coins. I have money enough. I thought about how I would have liked it when I was a kid. I did the same things a couple of times. Put down some junk on an old carpet and hope someone would buy something. Plus I knew one of the boys. From the playground. He always talks to me, asks questions etc. He’s a good kid.
So that was a good deed, right? I am not bad all the time. I really wish I could take the last few entries back. I thought it was obvious that I was upset about the situation with Springbok and 3B and that what I said shouldn’t be taken too serious. But I guess not. So I’d just like to make it clear that I did not eat a big steak. I do not think vegetarians and vegans are necessarily selfish and arrogant. Quite the opposite, I admire them for doing what they do. I’ll never become a vegan, but I might still try for vegetarian. I am not sure I could do even that, though. And that’s why I admire people who can. I still think it wasn’t a very nice thing for Judas to go and say that it was my own fault basically. Even if it’s true, it’s still not what I needed to hear at that moment. Like if a girl is killed and you go up to her mother and say “yeah, you really shouldn’t have let her go to school on her own, don’t you read the news? There are pedophiles everywhere. And terrorists. What were you thinking?”. You know? That’s an exaggeration of course. But still. My psyche is frail sometimes. In some things I need to be pushed. But I do not need to be pushed over the edge. It’s a balancing act. Spinning plates. I am sorry that I upset Katherine. She has always been a great support and I have admired much about her. Nothing I said was directed at her at all. But from her comments it sounds like this was just the last straw, that she had been somehow unhappy with me for a while. So maybe this is for the best. You guys don’t have to pretend to like me or be my friend if you actually don’t like me, or don’t like what I write or think I whine too much or whatever. I appreciate every one of you people. Katherine, Judas, Fume. It means a lot to me that you read and comment. And the rest of you who leave “less controversial” comments. All of you. You’re an important part of my life, but you are not obligated to like me or read me. I am eternally greatful for those who put up with me, though.
Losing the trail of my thoughts.
I will post a bunch of kitten pictures later. Kittens make the world go round.
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Current Music: the smashing pumpkins – i fall (880810)
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August 12th, 2006 at 16:59
… I missed the part where you met Big and Little Tiger (that’s what I get for being away from the internet for a while). so I can’t wait for the pictures! I’m sorry to read about the recent blog-drama — the internet is strange, it allows people to connect, but communicating your mood or feelings, or the way you meant a certain remark is an entirely different (and much more difficult) thing. Oh, and I don’t know if you get Lucky magazine in Denmark (it’s an American mag about fashion, etc.) but they profiled Tina Dico in the latest issue. They called her a “Los Angeles based singer-songwriter” — but I thought hers was a pretty unique name, so she probably is the girl whose concerts you’ve been to (and not some other random person with exactly the same name, occupation and hair color) If you like I can save it and send it to you when I get the chance (I am super absent minded/disorganized at the moment, so it might be a while, but it will get to you eventually …)
August 12th, 2006 at 18:05
Hey Valja! Yes, the internet is a funny thing. Funny haha. Oh dear. And yes, Dico is indeed Tina’s “stagename”. I don’t quite get how they can say she is Los Angeles based though. She lives in London, or at home in Denmark. But she’s touring at the moment so maybe that has them confused. I’d absolutely love to have it sent to me! That would be kickass. Thank you!
August 13th, 2006 at 14:14
I like you because you are human and are not afraid to be human and thus real. So many human beings truly suck because they are afraid to be human or have designated humanness with all its messiness, irrationality, and emotionalism as somehow “wrong” and to be avoided whilst they pursue loftier goals of being persistantly composed, unemotional and neat. Gawd forbid someone should come across as dirty or unkempt! The signs of an evil person held in their degree of messiness is what it appears many who fear humanness believe.
Anyways, I hope you always continue to be you because you are special and valuable and real. And that is a wonderous thing.