I am currently listening to the Smashing Pumpkins comeback show. It’s good to have them back. It’s not the same. But it’s Pumpkins. I hope they will come to Denmark some time and that I’ll be able to go. That would be wonderful.

do you.. feel
love is.. real

Oh the good old times.

So anyway. It was surprisingly easy for me to get out of bed this morning. I hadn’t slept too well so I was expecting a minor war with my mind, but my mind decided not to resist the inevitable and it let me get out of bed unharmed. I am getting myself tangled up in metaphors and fantasies.

Tiredness crept up on me soon enough, though. And right now it is overwhelming. But it’s bedtime soon, so that’s okay.

At work I had a nice, little conversation with Peter the boss. He told me that he probably wouldn’t be done with the rewrite of their website before the place closed for summer. And he asked if it would be okay if I came back to do some work on it after the summer break. Because the plan is still that I stop when the semester is over. But I said it’d be fine, I wouldn’t mind that. I’d be happy to help them really. And he said they’d even find a way to pay me. Maybe something about financing a pair of double-strength glasses for me. That’d be nice. We’ll see, I’d do it for free anyway. It’s not like it’s much work.

But yes, the plan is that I stop on June 20th, when the summer break starts. They will send my case to my social worker. Recomending disability retirement. And then I’ll have to wait for the result. It’ll take a while, a good while. Peter said it might be done by christmas. And it might not. So that’s a long time. But while my case is being processed I’m “safe”, I’m not going to be sent out to pack matches in boxes or clean highways or attend courses in public speaking or anything. So that’s fine.

And that’s the future for me. It’s not exactly what I had planned. Early retirement. But I’m happy with it. After what I have been through. After those years alone where I could barely leave the house, where I had no social contact with anyone at all… it will be nice to have a simple life and to go to the playground, whether it be as official skånejob or just as a visitor and help out. The idea of waking up and being happy with the day that lies ahead, that is wonderful. And I’m almost there now.

There’s a bit of a stigma about early retirement, especially when it’s because of psychological reasons. It’s one thing if you break your back and can’t work, people can understand that. But people who don’t know what social phobia is probably can’t quite understand it. But it’s not like I’m planning to sleep all day or sit in the park and drink beer or deal drugs or any other stereotypical things like that. I will spend my time with animals and kids and coworkers at the playground. That’s pretty good to me.

But I will stop boring you with silly things like my future, I know you’re all here to see some goats! Today, some short videos.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=mZ4vyfma2Nw. Mads rolling over on his side. It is one of my favourite things in the world when he does that.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=3YqqmrzUrT8. A video of the new giant bunny. I should warn you that this video is for adults only. It contains scenes of hot bunny lovemaking. You remember Æsel/Donkey, right? The grand old bunny who is allowed to run around as he pleases. Seems it pleased him to greet the giant belgian bunny with some sexual advances. And of course I am the voyeur with the camera, so I just had to film it.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Mw5Q-xTmnlg. The goats again. This is from Wednesday. When I got up to the playground it was closed. It puzzled me, I thought maybe there was a holiday I had forgotten about. I happened to have to use the bathroom so I went inside. And checked their calendar. Saw that there was an out of town meeting. So that explained that. I went to hang out for a bit with the goats. I wanted to let them out. So the video shows me opening the hatch. And you’d think they’d be running out as fast as they could, but no. Mads just stood there and watched. Then he moved back and let Magnethe and Vanilje run outside. And THEN he jumped out. Almost like he was sending them out to test the waters before going out himself. He’d make a good military general I think. Send out the expendables first! When Mads got out, Vanilje came straight back in to say hello to me again. They are sweet those goats.

And that’s all for today. Now it’s weekend, and as the clumsy French waiter on the Simpsons said… I’m going to enjoy this!

This entry was posted on Friday, May 25th, 2007 at 21:05 and is filed under Blogging. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.