Dreams Of A Rear View Mirror
Today would have been a very, very beautiful day. If it wasn’t for the looming shadow of Mads’ condition, of course.
Nothing new on that. The vet didn’t come today. He’s very busy because he’s the only one in the area who deals with “exotic” animals. I guess goats are exotic when you live in the middle of the city. So he won’t be coming before next week.
The goats were out in front of the playground today. The kids haven’t been there before. It was beautiful to see them galloping around. And the lawn in front of the playground is full of fresh, juicy grass. There’s no real grass in the goat fold at the moment and only a little budding sprouts in the horse field where they have been walking around recently. So I think they all enjoyed the vast field of good eats. Vanilje and Magnethe were tied down so they wouldn’t wander off into the residential area above. Mads was free because obviously he doesn’t wander much these days. But at least he had the yummy grass.
And there were lots of visitors. Many kids. There’s a strike going on in Denmark in kindergartens and the likes. So lots of kids with lots of time. Saad was there. Good to see him again. He sat down in my lap and talked to me and to Mads. It still surprises me a little, kids liking me and wanting to be around me. A couple of girs took Vanilje out for a walk on a leash. Although I think most of the time Vanilje were taking them for a walk. The sun was shining. There were times when I could just pretend that everything was normal and okay, that I was sitting with Mads in the sunshine and nothing was wrong. And then there were times when I couldn’t think of anything else than the fact that they’re going to take him away from me. And it was heartbreaking.
While I was sitting there with Mads, Alice came over and handed me a phone. It was Jannie, asking me if I could feed the animals for her tomorrow. To be honest I felt like saying no. I feel so drained, I don’t feel like working at all. But then it wouldn’t be fair to Jannie or the animals to turn her down. She’d have to work two jobs all day and the animals would either get fed very early or very late. So I said yes. In all likelihood it will be the last time that Mads is there while I feed…
I hope heaven has a well-stocked fridge. And an endless lawn of fresh, juicy grass.
Finishing off with pictures from the last couple of days.
He dozed off with his head resting on my hand. So sweet. I couldn’t hold it for too long though. A goat’s head is a heavy burden to bear.
Goodnight.
May 23rd, 2008 at 23:43
Such good pictures of Mads. Our Frankie has eyes the color of Mads’ eyes and a little gray like Mads.
Make the most of the time you have with Mads. I know you probably don’t feel up to doing the feeding this weekend, but it will do you good. Keep your mind from too much thinking and it will keep your hands busy.
My husband is thinking of you and Mads, as well. He says to spend as much time with Mads to comfort him and to repay Mads for all the good he has done for you. Mads needs you now, like you have needed him.
May 24th, 2008 at 14:57
Hugs for you, dear Plume. Best wishes for you and Mads!
May 25th, 2008 at 9:22
Debster’s husband is right; try to spend as much time you have with Mads even if you’re not up to it.
There isn’t much time left and Mads needs to be with you. He’s done more for you than anyone on earth.
May 25th, 2008 at 15:50
Debster – Yeah it’s good to get the mind off things. Tell your husband thank you from me. I will definitely spend as much time as I can with Mads. When time is running out you really get to appreciate every second of it..
Milla – Thank you and hugs for you too Milla.
luisLemmings – I am always up for spending time with Mads, it was more the feeding and work that I didn’t feel like. But it’s good to get something done anyway. I need to be with Mads as much as he needs to be with me, if not more, I think.