The Darkness That Blinds Us
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Time to discuss why I’m not feeling that great. It is because my sight has gotten a little worse again. I’m pretty sure. It can be hard to tell when everything is a blur. But it is. it is. And it’s no good. No good at all. Everything is getting harder. I can’t tell the time on my wrist watch. I’m going to have to set my monitor to 800×600 soon. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how long I can keep going like this.
Tomorrow I have laser treatment. On Friday I have doctor’s appointment to get the results from the blood tests to see if my diabetes is still in check.
But what is the point of it all? What good is the laser treatments? My sight has only gotten worse and worse. What good is keeping the diabetes in check, I’ll end up blind anyway.
I am sad and tired.
I am also giving up the sodas. Today is the first day in as long as I can remember that I have gone without sodas voluntarily. I have had iced water instead. We’ll see how that goes. I swiched from sugar to sugarfree without problems. And have been drinking a lot less. So maybe stopping entirely will be ok. So far so good.
There are some other new things to discuss, but I don’t feel like it right now. We’ll talk about it later.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 25th, 2009 at 23:54 and is filed under Blogging. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
7 Responses to “The Darkness That Blinds Us”
1. Valja Says:
March 26th, 2009 at 11:27
*hugs* I have a feeling that if I say anything it will seem trite, so I’ll stick to hugs. They get their point across better than words do sometimes.
2. Katrine Says:
March 26th, 2009 at 11:28
Ask them!
Ask the laser people and the doctors and who ever else might have some answers-ask them how you’re supposed to cope with the uncertanity, for how long it will take before they know for sure, and ask them what you should do in the mean time.
I realise the the social phobia and having to talk about how much this scares you is gonna be tough, but maybe they’ll be able to tell you some more and explain things better? Surely anything must be better than waiting in dread?
I’m keeping my fingers crossed and sending lots of positive vibes! (((((((hugs))))))))
3. Valja Says:
March 26th, 2009 at 16:53
Katrine is right. You really should talk to your doctors — after all, it’s their job to help you. If you don’t want to have a long conversation with them, how about writing down a list of questions and giving it to them the next time you go in for a treatment?
In other news, I have discovered that amazon.co.uk (what I use in Oxford) will only deliver most things to UK addresses. There isn’t an amazon.no, so, what do I do? Is there an amazon.dk? Where do you do your online shopping?
*more hugs*
4. Debster Says:
March 27th, 2009 at 0:42
Still no computer. It’s back home after a new hard drive was put in, but now no internet connection.
I’m at the library now checking on e-mail and my favorite danish goat boy!
I agree with Valja and Katrine. Please get some help and talk or write some things down for the doctors. I really don’t like the way things are going for you. And I’m sure the doctors need to know just how bad things have gotten for you.
It may not be till next week till our computer is up and running again, but will try and check back on the library computer between now and then.
5. Milla Says:
March 27th, 2009 at 21:27
Sometimes things get a lot worse before getting better. That applies a lot to the healing process. Please have faith that your sight will improve. We’ll be sending you good vibes and big hugs. And the advice is brilliant, do let the doctors know.
You’ve been such an inspiration for me because I too need to eliminate sugar and sodas from my diet and it’s mucho importante. If you weren’t doing all those things now then the hope for improvement would not be as good. Plume, remember, there is always hope. I know it’s hard and having patience seems like some kind of a joke right now. But you are on the right track and that leads to things getting better!
6. LuisLemmings Says:
March 27th, 2009 at 22:16
You know, Plume, maybe it’s time to see a therapist or a psychologist. I’ve seen a couple in the past and they’ve helped me with such things as anxiety and depression. And being bipolar isn’t as bad as it once was because I’ve learned new techniques to deal with it along as well as taking my medication.
So give it some serious thought. There are people there to help you, but you have to reach out for it.
7. Plume Says:
March 28th, 2009 at 0:02
Thank you all for the concern and advice. I appreciate it. You are all very kind and I am lucky to have you around. I know I should talk to someone about it all. I just don’t know if I can. But at some point maybe I will have to. I will think and try.
Valja – are you sure amazon.co.uk doesn’t ship to Norway? I believe it ships to Denmark, but I haven’t used it myself so I don’t know. I have rarely bought books online, not internationally anyway, so I’m afraid I can’t help.
All the best to you all, and your computers too.