The Future Soon
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I am feeling a little better. Though not great. Not by a country mile.
I went to the playground today. I had planned to do it yesterday, but I was stopped by a massive rainstorm. But today I made it. And thank goats I did. They always lift my spirit, the wonderful goats. When I have lost so much sight that I can no longer use the computer at all or watch TV, then maybe I will spend all my days just sitting with the goats. That wouldn’t be so bad after all.
Getting up there might be a problem, though. Crossing the street is not fun these days. I have to listen for the cars more than I see them. I don’t have to cross any roads to get to the shopping center around the block, so that’s okay still. But to get to the goats I have to cross a couple. But I figure when things get so bad, then I’ll probably be moving back in with my parents, and from my parents’ place there are no major road crossings on the way to the playground. So you see, it will all work out.
Bodil came by the playground while I was there. It’s always good to talk to her a little. And I got to hold Sif, the amazing growing puppy. She’s a cute little thing still. The goat boys are always very interested in her too. I don’t think they can quite figure out what kind of odd, little goat she is. No horns at all. Although as Bodil says, she looks a little like she could have horns. Devil dog. The good kind.
In other news, I have been a good boy and did not buy cakes. Instead I bought smoked salmon. I have been living healthier than ever. I even dropped my krydderbolle. My bun. My traditional bun. My one indulgence that I kept after the diabetes diagnosis. After making sure it didn’t totally wrecking my blood sugar levels, I figured it was okay to keep eating it. And I’m sure it is. But I have let it go for now anyway. I used to heat it in the oven. Melted cheese. Mmm. I haven’t had cheese for three days now. I’m not sure that has ever happened before. Even when I was in the hospital, their diabetes diet still had some cheese. I don’t know. I don’t think any of this is going to make a difference. The nuts, the berries, the exercise. The acupuncture, the cataracts operation. I know they say that the worst thing you can take away from someone is their hope, but I don’t feel a lot of hope. Still, I am trying. And once it becomes obvious that nothing works then I will order junk food again and buy cake and not care. Then I will be weak. I cannot wait.
My dad was supposed to go to Copenhagen this week. But decided to stay home. He didn’t feel right leaving Århus right now. Because of me, it was understood. I don’t think he needed to stay home because of me. But I know he worries a lot. And I appreciate all his help. This would all be a lot harder without it. He also called the acupuncturist and rescheduled our appointment. Instead of Friday we’ll go tomorrow. So one day sooner. I dout that’s going to make a difference. I doubt this one treatment can do anything the others haven’t. Maybe we can try again later. Like in 6 months when my sight has settled, or just gone completely. Then we can go back and give it another try. But right now it doesn’t seem to be able to stop the downward slide. We’ll see how it goes tomorrow. Uncle Jens will be driving again, it will be just like the good old days.
– I just talked to my dad on the phone. Someone has broken into my brother’s appartment. Smashed a window and took his TV and laptop. They’re waiting for the police now. I know it’s just stuff, but still. I hate humanity sometimes. All the shit we do to eachother. Sigh.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 27th, 2009 at 19:16 and is filed under Blogging. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.