Demons & Angels
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I am having a little hard time keeping up the positive mindframe. My left eye seems to be getting worse by the day. And it is plenty awful. It’a just horrible. And the right one is hard to get a handle on. The blood keeps rushing in and muddling things. The wrong strength in the glasses. The pulsating spot that comes and goes. The crosseyed feeling that makes me see double. It’s hard to keep thinking that everything is going to turn out okay when your eyes are just… fucked up.
But what can you do. Wait and see. And hope for the best. Two weeks till surgery. Redo the right. So it’ll probably be a couple of months before we can do the left. I just hope there will be something left.
I tried to watch the Watchmen movie today. But I had to give up. Too dark and complicated. I guess I have to stick with bright comedies, cartoons and sitcoms that I know by heart. That’s all I can still follow. Visually, I mean.
Meanwhile summer has struck. Temperatures in the high 20s I think. It’s almost a little too muh for me. At night at least. I don’t like hot nights. But then the decreased bloodflow makes my feet cold and aching if there is even a tiny breeze. So it’s never quite comfortoable. I prefer it to be a little cold so I can hide under my big, thick blanket. But then my feet get cold and achy. Now it’s warm and good for my feet. But then I sweat and get too hot on top. I think around 20C is probably where I’m most comfortable. But it’s nice to have some summer. I must try to go enjoy it with the goats one of the next days. Get my spirit back up.
I wish I had a machine that could speed up time. The days are so long.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 1st, 2009 at 20:15 and is filed under Blogging. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
2 Responses to “Demons & Angels”
1. Milla Says:
July 2nd, 2009 at 11:26
Big hugs and smooches too! Sending you healing vibes! Here’s to the temperature going back to 20C and you feeling much much better.
There is a beautiful goat in my neighborhood but he lives in a place with a fence around it with a couple of hens, they’ve got something like a cute playground installed and I always wish I could come in there and spend some time with that loveliness. I always wave when I pass that street though and the goat looks at me, almost like saying ‘hi’ back :) The goats are indeed magical!
2. Plume Says:
July 2nd, 2009 at 20:23
milla – Thank you for the good vibes. I’m sure the goat is thinking to him/herself “what a nice human” too. It’s good to have goats around.