The End Is The Beginning Is The End
I’m afraid it’s almost time to say goodbye. My eyesight is failing. The central part of my left eye is a dark cloud now. I can barely see the text on the computer now. I have some decent peripheral vision, but that doesn’t help me use the computer. It’s very hard now.
I will try to keep blogging, more or less, as long as I can. But it seems to be going fast now. This morning I could still read the computer fairly well. Only parts of my central vision were cloudy, now tonight it’s almost all of it. I imagine that it will only be a few days now before I have to give up.
It’s still an open question whether the screen reader from the sight central people will be able to help me use the computer. I don’t know how well it will work with the blog. Perhaps I will still be able to come on and write a little every now and then. I don’t know.
While I still have the chance I’d like to thank everyone who has been with me over the years. Everyone who has read and commented. You have meant a great deal to my mental health. Through all the ups and downs I have found love and support from a lot of swell people. Thank you every one.
I hope plume.dk will stay up without problems. If more webhost issues arise then I might not be able to fix them, though. I will do my best to keep it running though. Not so long I started a little project (djaliplume.blogspot.com) aiming to collect all my old entries from diaryland and this blog. And maybe livejournal too. All my writings in one stable blog where they’d be unlikely to disappear. So they’d still be there even after I’m long gone. Not that I have written anything terribly important. But still, it’s 10 years of my life. I’d like to be remembered. Even if it’s just by a couple of people. Even if it’s just by a random google search every now and then. But alas, it was not to be. We’re talking thousands of entries. And too little time left. It doesn’t all matter so much. At least I have made some connections with people around the world. 10 years ago I never imagined that would happen.
This isn’t goodbye, but in case I don’t get the chance to go on my own terms, I just wanted to make sure I’d said how much I have appreciated y’all.
Yesterday I went to the hospital for the checkup. And as I guessed they still can’t say much or do much. They can’t really see any changes and they can’t do more than they already are. My left eye is ending up like my right one and there’s not much to do about it. I guess all that’s left to hang a little hope on is the removal of the oil, when the time comes. Maybe that will somehow make some difference. But not really much hope of that. Now it’s more a matter of dealing with the new way of life that I will have to lead.
I had my first foot therapy today. It went very well. Now I have a break in my schedule. But there will be much more to deal with soon of course. Mainly with the sight central and blind society of course. And going back o the hospital in a couple of weeks. I’m pretty much done using the computer for fun, but I’ll have lots to do at least.
See you all again soon, I hope. Take care out there.
September 3rd, 2009 at 20:13
I will miss your blogs, Plume. I will hope for a miracle that restores everything to normal one day, but in the absence of that, I hope that you can be happy.
September 4th, 2009 at 8:37
I will miss reading your blog, if that is what it comes to. And I will think of you, hoping that you are doing well and am happy. And that the goats keep up a steady supply of comfort and joy for you :) But I hope you’ll be able to check in, every now and then!
September 4th, 2009 at 18:42
– Thanks guys. I hope there will still be some entries. And who knows about the screen reader thing. And let’s not forget about miracles, maybe they do happen.
September 4th, 2009 at 22:59
I’ll miss your almost daily blogs, Plume. If I were to send you a letter, do you have someone who could read it to you? (Your Dad reads and writes English, doesn’t he?)
I’m not quite ready to give you up, my dear danish goat boy. There must be some way of communicating over long distances. Maybe the sight central people or the Danish blind society people have some advice on that question.
I will still hope and pray for your sight to return. I hope you are able to continue to visit the playground and be with the goatzies and other animals.
September 5th, 2009 at 9:44
Debster – If you send me a letter then my dad should be able to read it to me, yes. I don’t know how comfortable I would feel with him reading personal letters to me like that though. I am hoping the screen reader will allow me to read my email, so for now I’d probably prefer to get an email instead, as long as it’s possible.
For now I can still read the computer text, but with great difficulty. It’s gotten even worse since I wrote the update, so I don’t know how long it will last.
I should be able to visit the playground even if I go completely blind. I know my dad is more than willing to take me there. I might have to stop going in the goat pen though. As much as I love Magnethe (and it’s a lot) she can be a handful these days and I’m not sure I can handle her if I can’t see. But I should always be able to stand at the fence and give them scratches and treats and feel them near. I can’t imagine a life without goats, in some way or form.
By the way, I got a comment on an older entry, perhaps you’d be interested in it.. http://plume.dk/blog/?p=752#comment-321331
September 5th, 2009 at 11:44
I’ll also pray for your eyesight to restore, dear Plume. You are in my thoughts, I’m always sending you good vibes and lots of GREAT BIG HUGS! And that will not change.
Our bodies are absolutely magnificent at knowing how to heal/restore themselves and if your eyes require a rest then they need to do just that. We’ll miss you and your blogs like crazy but I am sure that there will be other possibilities to continue to stay in touch and for us to know how our wonderful Plume is doing. This experience will make you even stronger (you are SuperPlume already) and all your readers and friends are extremely proud of what you’ve accomplished and how strong and courageous you are. Courage is not absence of fear, it’s being really scared at times but still following through, still moving forward. You are an inspiration and you are treasured.
Take good care, much love from Belgium
September 5th, 2009 at 20:11
This truly is a sad day for all your friends everywhere. Just like Debster and the rest of us, I am hoping for the best still.
I had wanted to write you letters, but reading you wanting emails instead, I shall do that.
I must get your email address again before the site goes down.
I still have hope, my friend. You have many all over the world who want nothing but the best for you.
So if this is truly the last, you know have a friend way out here in San Diego, California. Email as much as you want and I shall email back as well. But I will still send postcards for your collection!!
Here is my email address. It’s the one I use all the time:
mproust33@aol.com
I’ll end this with a heavy heart, much sadness…and tears as well
:(
September 5th, 2009 at 23:29
My Dear Mr. Plume,
I was truly saddened by your last entry. It cast my mind back to my diarlyland days — you know you’re one of the few bloggers I’ve followed to other servers over the years. I’ve always enjoyed your writings. Thank you for sharing so much of your life with all of us. Lately, I have been very impressed by your courage and fortitude in the face of these life changing health problems. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers — and even if this really is your last entry, I will never forget you.
The email link on this comment is my gmail address — I check that most often. I would be happy to email you and update you on things here in Norway. What’s your address?
By the way, Mille is right. The human body is an amazingly adaptable thing. Now, I have had my disability since I was born, so I don’t know what it’s like to lose abilities, but over the years I have come in contact with other people who have become disabled and still live happily on their own terms, with a little help from adaptive technology. :) I am hoping the same will be true for you, which is why I am really glad you’re in touch with people who can provide that kind of help. It really can make all the difference.
I hope we can keep in touch, and if you ever need anything at all (like, for example, more postcards) just let me know and I will do my best to help you out. You have come a long way, Mr. Plume, and there are people (as well as goats!) near and far who care about you and your happiness.
Love and Aloha,
Valja (who used to be farther but now is much nearer)
September 6th, 2009 at 16:22
zMilla – Thank you dear hugmeister. Maybe my eyes just need a vacation. Perhaps I should send them somewhere suny. Maybe Belgiun, you never know. But I will do my best to keep you all updated on how things are going with me.
luislemmings/B> – I am sorry that I am bumming everyone out. I know this isn’t what you bargained for when you found a dumb little blog with goat pictures. Who could have known.. But I’m glad you guys care so much.
My email is djaliplume -at- yaho com. But I still hope the screen reader will allow me to continue the blog in some small way.
Feel free to send me post cards, but my collection is probably not going to be a big priority for me anymore, as you can imagine. So don’t spend too much time or thought on that. And don’t stay too sad. I would miss your sense of humour if it went away.
Valja – I remember worrying if people would still read me if I left diaryland.. I’m glad some did. Not least you. It’s been a long ride. Thank you for sticking with me. I do expect there to be more blog entries. One way or the other. My email is in the reply to luis above.
September 7th, 2009 at 10:44
Poor poor Plume, has he gone completely blind .. Horrorfying
I wish there was something we could do ..
September 7th, 2009 at 16:20
*stops by with fresh supply of ((((((((hugs))))))) and motivation* I hope you’re doing ok!
September 9th, 2009 at 4:44
i love you, mr. plume! love you love you love you. i can’t tell you how much i’ve loved reading your words for all these years. i still have postcards to send you. and snowgreetz and everything. i hope you’ll be able to read this and know that i still think about you and your goats and always wish for the best for you..
September 9th, 2009 at 18:44
Jane – Aw thank you Jane, you are much too sweet. Thank you for stull thinking of me. I hope the family is doing ok.Safe and sound. I’m afraid snowgreetz won’t do me so much good anymore though. I can’t really see pictures on the computer now. And especially not white. So the snowgreetz days are over. But again, I’m thrilled you remembered that haha. Good times.