Today will be a good day. Here’s the Ping Pong twins, ear by ear.

18/12 2017
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Good goat times today. Cold and wet, of course. Still a little snow around, but mostly just dirty patches here and there. At least it kept mostly dry while I was with the goats. That makes things easier. I brought some spaghetti for the girls again. They sure do love it. Especially Mio. She dang near knocked my hand off while headbutting Mia away. I think it’s fair to say it’s now her favourite treat of all. Closely followed by… every other treat. She’s so funny with her snorting and harrumphing. The nerve of someone else wanting the food that is obviously meant to be just for her. Harrumph!
A sweet, little girl with an older lady came by. She was enjoying giving out hay to the horses, who were still inside waiting to be let out. The joy of little kids with the animals is always heartwarming.
I was in for a cold walk home, though. It started to rain. Rain and sleet and cold wind right in my face. When I made it back home I could hardly feel my face or close my eyes. Thankful for long, hot showers. I kinda wanted to boil myself like a lobster.
18/12 2017
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Oh well I guess that thing does have a door after all.

18/12 2017
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We’re not completely snowfree, but some of the grass has cleared. So the girls actually got to do a little grazing today.

18/12 2017
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I’m sorry, Jimmy. We can’t afford presents this year. It takes time for the wonderful tax cuts to trickle down to us normal folks. Maybe next year, if you’re lucky. Now go play with your stick and lumps of coal.
18/12 2017
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I can haz feetsies.

18/12 2017
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around and around like a fucked up song by a fucked up dane

18/12 2017
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Lights out for today. I’m going to go sleep it off. Whatever it is.
If you’d like to join my mailing list, please send a lifesized cardboard cutout of yourself and I’ll place you in the mailing list room where all the mailing list mailiers are listed in the mailing of mail mail mail sorry this isn’t going anywhere. I’ll take it with me to bed instead. Please allow 48 hours for delivery, 24 if the stork has good weather and makes all the green lights.
Splut.
18/12 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day.

19/12 2017
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Oh mud.

19/12 2017
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I’m not so learned in the bible. Did god get consent from the virgin Mary?
#Controversial
19/12 2017
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I would like this new thing where Facebook gives me local weather reports a lot more if all the reports didn’t include “rain is forecasted”.
19/12 2017
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Right now Santa is lying in a hammock in his sauna room going “Please let them cancel Christmas, please let them cancel christmas, please let them cancel christmas. I don’t wanna go back to work”.
19/12 2017
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Millions of impeaches, impeaches for me. LOOKOUT!


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Also the goats

19/12 2017
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When you find that perfect, comfy spot.

19/12 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

20/12 2017
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I have a great idea for a tax reform. Now hear me out, this stuff is complicated you know. But basically it involves all of you guys paying lots and lots of money. And all of it goes to me. In turn I promise that for the rest of my life I’ll spend all that money frivolously and so it will slowly trickle back to you. I call it the “You scratch my back, and eventually I’ll probably trickle on yours” bill. Please ignore all the handwritten notes in the margins. It’s just inconsequential stuff about abortions being mandatory and guns costing as much as cars and requiring the same effort to obtain as cars and also you can only have one, two at the most if you’re really rich and need to make up for what you’re lacking downstairs, if you know what I mean nudge nudge wink wink. Oh also there’s the part about not being allow to say Christmas, except on February 29th. 1978.
Just, don’t bother reading it. Sign here and here and give me your credit card number if I don’t already have it on file.
Now I’m off to dig up Alaska and shoot bears in the face.
IS THE SATIRE NOT WORKING HOW IS IT NOT WORKING?!
20/12 2017
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“I’m totally invisible” thinks the invisible goat.

20/12 2017
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goatlog

20/12 2017
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And here’s some cat love for the cat lovers.
link: Mousy video
20/12 2017
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OH MY GOD. SOYLENT BLUE IS MADE OF SMURFS
20/12 2017
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I hereby tender my resignation.
And then lightly salt it and put it in the oven for 45-50 minutes. Oh did I mention I have a cooking show now? It’s called “Cooking With Lasse”. And then you wipe some dust from the TV Guide and it says “Cooking HUMANS with Lasse”. Now please follow me into this sauna and sit quietly while I block the door from the outside. Also put this stick of butter in your mouth and sprinkle yourself with parsley. Thanks. I’ll give you a good review on Gulp! which is the Yelp! for cannibals.
Speaking of cannibals. Do you think you can get cannabis flavoured humans?
You guys do some research and write a report and I’ll look at it in the morning. Please remember to fact check and name your sources. You will be graded on your handwriting. There is no loading and unloading in the ozone zone. Follow the clearly marked signs to the dreamzone and do not attempt to adjust your set. Or your package. Please park your physical body in the booty zone. Do not pass go and do not collect 200 dollars unless you’re a wealthy real estate owner with a private jet. This has gone on for far too long. Please see addendum A section 12 paragraphy 6 titles “How to keep your goodnight post brief and to the point, with detailed examples and an analysis of why you shouldn’t end with the phrase ‘the first such incident occcured,,,'”
20/12 2017
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Bruce and Clark for your Thursday throwbacksies.

21/12 2017
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MERRY GOATMAS

21/12 2017
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Yeah, so how are you guys? Anything new with you? Yeah? Uh huh? Cool. So, obviously good goat times today. THEY ARE SO CUTE. Oh my goat. Haha, when I got there I was hoping we’d have the new arrivals ready. But I didn’t see them in the dark. So I just went about my business getting breakfast for Mia and Mio. And then I heard a tiny little squeak. And I thought to myself I thought, that did not sound like our big girls. So I had another look in the other stall. And there they were. All tiny and quiet in the dark.
Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Well, one boy and one girl. I took Mia and Mio out and tied them down on the grass outside. They weren’t thrilled about that of course. But if I had let them go free they wouldn’t have let the little ones get near me. So that had to be done. Then I got the two new ones out. They are so cute and fluffy. Tubby little things. They went around nibbling at the grass. They seem very comfortable and well adjusted. Happy to be touched and not afraid. They mostly kept a safe distance from the big ladies. Who were busy giving them the death stare. The nerve, such little newbies taking all of uncle’s attention while we have to be tied up! Grumbleth. I made sure to give them some attention, and treats, as well. But of course I had to get acquainted with the little ones. Chubby kids, as I said. Anne asked if I’d given them breakfast and if I hadn’t then I shouldn’t haha. I hadn’t. They don’t need goat pills right now. Just hay and grass. And.. the occasional treats from uncle Treatbag. Yes, they liked raisins. Especially the little girl was very eager for more. Her name is Sky, although Anne said she didn’t think she looks like a Sky so she’s going to try to get that changed. We’ll see. The boy is named Milo. Milo and Sky. They are the softest little goat plushies I ever did feel. I just want to hugs them and never lets them go.
A family with kids came by. And fawned over the babes. i’m sure there’ll be a lot of that in the future. They fed Mia and Mio too, so that was nice. Everyone was happy.
Later on I took the whole gang back to the goat pen. The little ones were nibbling on branches. And then they went to the new goat house. There was a little hay for them there. Kinda funny with two tiny things in a big empty goat house haha. I took them down to the bench and sat with them there too. Two goat kids in my lap. I’ve missed that.
Mia and Mio are generally okay with them. Curious. And every now and then they get a little swing of the head. Gotta make sure everyone knows who’s the boss. And who’s the second in command. But the little ones are so small and fast that they won’t have any problems getting away if the big girls get too mean.
And now here we are. Lots to process. I assure you that you’ll get to hear, and see, a lot of them in the future. I look forward to getting to know them.
21/12 2017
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AND A HAPPY NEW GOATS

21/12 2017
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Cool kids

21/12 2017
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I’m afraid there will be no christmas in Chocolate Land this year, as I just ate Chocolate Santa.
Celebrations were in order. Someone had to pay the price.
21/12 2017
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where my eyes can barely read the screen anymore. It’s been a big day. Thank you all for sharing in the joy. It’s so nice that I can first experience the joy myself. Then I can go home and share it with you. And then I can go on Mia’s page and share it with everyone there. It’s exciting to see everyone get excited. It’s been a rough year but at least it looks like ending on a high note.
Oh also, I got a bunch of mail. But I’m not going to get to opening it until tomorrow at the soonest. But I know there is some from some of you out there, so there’s that to look forward to. Also goats.
21/12 2017
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Today will be a good day.

22/12 2017
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updated his profile picture.
Bundles of joy

22/12 2017
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goatlog

22/12 2017
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A mighty big thank you and happy seasonal holidymas go out to Cindy Porter, Kathleen Murphy, Debbie Wilkins (x2!) and Pamela Smotherman! Thank you so much for the cards and the sweet messages. I feel the love and jolly. Tis the season for good tidings, thank you for sending me them.

22/12 2017
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By the way, I won’t be sending out christmas gifts this year because I kinda accidentally on purpose while high on baby goats blew the whole budget on a friend with a goat in need. Charity to animals in need is my gift to you all, there are no refunds and I do not validate parking. Please help yourself to a complimentary candy cane on your way out. Oh wait, we’re out of candy canes. Can you get me some candy canes? Thanks. Have a jolly consumeristmas.
22/12 2017
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Already hamming it up for the camera.

22/12 2017
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An app that plays the Miami Vice theme every time you get up from the couch to get a sip of lemonade from the fridge.
22/12 2017
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Hey guys, i’m going for a Kessel run. Do any of you need something from the Kessel store?
I’ll be back in a parsec or two.
22/12 2017
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It almost looks like Mia is standing on Sky’s back. Honey, I shrank the Mia.

22/12 2017
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Find your happy place, and dig your heels in.

23/12 2017
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Today will be a good day.

link: All I want for christmas is you, memory
23/12 2017
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Thank you so much Deborah Ladd! A wonderful calendar, with wonderful pictures. Sweet, beautiful memories. It’s perfect, I love it! Feeling the love!
And I will paypal 5 dollars to the first person to identify the music track I put on this slideshow. I should have put more effort into the pictures instead, haha. But it looks great in person. A delightful surprise.
link: Calendar video
23/12 2017
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There is a page on Facebox called “God Emperor Trump”. I wonder how many good Christian people are following it? Remind me the first 3 commandments?
You shall have no other gods before Me.
You shall not make idols.
You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain.
Anyway, two corinthians walk into a bar. “I can’t believe they keep lowering the bar” said the liberal snowflake commentator.
Tis the day before christmas and I’m sitting in front of the fireplace, hoping the presents will come trickling down from the taxfree jetplane overhead.
23/12 2017
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I’m cute and I know it

23/12 2017
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Working on a secret goat secret thing goat thing secret. Gotta be done for tomorrow. Gotta get it done before my eyes give out. As the tiredness creeps in my eyesight gets worse and worse. I think I’ll be going to bed early tonight. But I gotta get this done first. IT’S SUPER ROUGH HAVING DEADLINES GUYS now I know how people with real jobs have it, except I’m like santa I only make this particular thing once a year, if that. By the way, are you up Santa? They didn’t cancel christmas. You better be loading the sleigh. I need five crates of peanuts or there will be some disappointed goaties on Christmas eve.
23/12 2017
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Has anyone made a Wham’s Last Christmas parody about The Last Jedi? Because if not then the time traveller did his job well and can now proceed further back to kill baby Hitler.
23/12 2017
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Okay, I am done for today. My eyes have suffered enough. Slaving over Photoshop and Virtualdub. But there will be premium goat content tomorrow, I can tells you that. I also ate too much. In general, I mean. Most of my life. But also today. But it’s always nice to have a Christmas holiday to blame. Tomorrow is Christmas in Denmark. We celebrate on the 24th, as is right and proper. The Viking Demibalrog shall be pleased by the sacrifices we are preparing. There shall be much wailing and gnashing of teeth. And later on, when we’re too stuffed to go pillaging and plundering we’ll settle down on our classical chairs and enjoy a good flute symphony by the village flutist. And then we shall dismember him and feed him to the goats. Which is particularly cruel since goats don’t eat meat. But such is the life of a flutist in a viking commons. There but for the grace of snork.
Also, no one guess the song on the slideshow video so that’s five dollars I’m keeping for myself. I shall spend it on petty cash and petty revenge on those who have wronged me during the last year. Starting with the little gnomes that keep sneaking into my bedroom and farting. They are as cruel as they are real and surely not a figment of my imagination or a clever cover story designed to distract you from the real truth. THAT JIMMY KIMMEL ORCHESTRATED BENGASIL!!! Wake up sheeple. I am your alarm clock. Wake up. I am your alarm clock. Wake up. This is a reminder to turn off your TV. Turn off your TV.
Tis the night before christmas and all through the house. Not a creature stirred, except for the womenfolk in the kitchen stirring the stew for the festivitus tomorrow. Ah womenfolk. What would we do without them? I guess we’d have to stir the stew ourselves, plus a lot of gay stuff.
Anyway, please shred this document after you have read it and tell no one of what it is that it was and ever so more shall be again once the Demibalrog behooft it.
By the glory of Gemeshlehem, lord of the shadow may he light our way when the stars go out. Blessed be your carrot tops and the thoughts that linger when you turn off the mind. Shaka when the walls sort of shifted. See you beyond the veil. We really should write shorter outros, by this rate I won’t be done until new years ever
HAPPY NEW Yohbloodyheck
23/12 2017
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys. And merry christmas and happy holidaymas and a festivus for the restofussians.

24/12 2017
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Merry goatmas facebox. I am off to celebrate with the family. The human one. Just our traditional, simple little do. See you laterz.

24/12 2017
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Merry Christmas from the Henriksen household.
That’s me on the left, my brother Peter, my mother Anni and my dad Kaj.
Thank you all for thinking of us through the year. We appreciate the support and love!

24/12 2017
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Good christmastimes today. Now you know I’m a modest, humble person. But I feel that I have to announce publically that I, me, this guy, won the contest of finding the whole almond in the risalamande. Some people say it’s just random. That it’s pure luck who happens to find the almond. But we all know that’s not right. It’s a game of skill. Of expertise and experience. The hunter knows his prey. He IS his prey. He becomes one with the almond and they are forever bonded. Until he eats it. Tonight, I am the almond. You could say, in a way… I was always the almond.
And I won chocolate.
24/12 2017
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Here are some outtakes from the Christmas photoshoot. Oh the indignities these goats must suffer. I owe them a lot of peanuts.

24/12 2017
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Here’s a little video from our christmas. It’s never as charming in HD. But just a glimpse. Of course I had to watch Disney’s christmas special. Every year. Plus some oldtimey Danish Christmas traditional TV, The Julekalender. Which will make all the sense you foreigners. And then the menfolk helping in the kitchen since mama chef is still recovering. And a bit of eating. And that’s all. Lowkey as we do it. Unfortunately I didn’t videotape my glorious almond victory. I shall make a re-enactment if Dave Grohl gets back to me about starring as me in my production of me wining all the chocolate.
link: Christmas video
24/12 2017
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It’s getting kind of late. Is it okay if I just jingle half the way? I was planning to jingle all the way, but I think I’m all jingled out.
Hope you’re all having merry times. Thank you for helping make my day a jolly one. I feel lucky to know you all. *bows* I am not worthy.
25/12 2017
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End of Facebook, go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week.

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