Whale Spotting
I don’t understand why I don’t go viral, what more do I have to do?!
I tried leaking my nudes but TMZ just said ‘no thanks’. And so did Kristen Bell, Jessica Alba, my mailman, the Danish Whale Observatory hotline and pretty much everyone I passed up outside walmart.
#ForeverALoon
link: Giuliani tweet
30/7 2018
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Here’s Milo on top. I wonder if there’s ever been a time when Milo was sitting above while Sky was in her little nook below. I don’t think I’ve seen that. But that’d be cute. Almost like a bunk bed.
30/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Popcorn from 2015.
30/7 2018
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Good goat times today. After a rough morning. One of those mornings when the demon in the back of the cupboard in the back of my head won the argument. I made preparations to go back to beed and sleep all the and all the world away. But then at the last minute I tricked the demon. I told it “It’s so hot and I’m sweaty, I’ll take a quick shower and then we’ll go to bed and you can have your wicked way with me”. The cold shower washed some of the uncomfort away and I was able to drag myself out the door instead of back to bed.
It wasn’t too comfortahle outside either, though. We’ve finally had some rain, which is good. But the rain was gone and left only clouds and humidity when I got out. I much prefer a sunny day with wind. A still, humid, cloud, hot day is not very pleasant. This was the worst humidity I have felt all year. But alright. Got myself to the goats. The world had one last trick to play on me today, though. Or the goats had. I figured since I was a little later than usual they would definitely be outside. So i went the long way around to sneak up on them from behind to get some funny reactions from them when they’d spot me. I approached the goat pen and.. nothing. No goats. Alright, tha’ts odd. Guess they hadn’t been let out yet. So I went inside to get them. No goats inside. I went back out to the goat pen and whistled, just in case they were all hiding under the house or something. No reaction. Then I heard the chickens clucking away. They were outside. So where were the goats? I walked around looking for them. And then there they were, sitting all four togather in the horse pasture. If I’d gone the route I normally go then I would have walked right by the fence fhey were sitting at. Sheesh. Nothing but trouble, those goats. Potted plants don’t move around like that, just saying.
Finally it was time for the good goat times. I let them out of the horse pasture. There’s a bit of grass in there, but still not much. I guess if we’d had a summer like last year there would have been lots of grass by now. But without rain it hasn’t been growing much while the horses have been gone.
So out to find better greens along the ways. And I mostly just watched them. Still feeling kinda crummy and tired and humid. But better with goats.
After a while in the greens we went back in the horse pasture. I wasn’t sure why they were in there when I arrived, if there was a reason for it or it was just random. And I didn’t feel up to dealing with humans to find out. So I figured I’d better take them back in there, in case they weren’t supposed to be in their own pen for some reason. Also, the horse pasture is a great place to run with the kids. I had some jolly good fun with the little ones, and the big kid, running back and forth. Tired myself out. Then we all sat around and relaxed in the humid heat. It reminded me of last year. When there was a passage between the goat pen and horse pasture and the goats preferred to be in the horse place. I’d run with Mia and then we’d sit in the dirt. I wish we could get that passage opened again so the goats could just be wherever they wanted to be. But I guess that’s too much trouble for the humans. Humans, who needs ’em.
there were some nice humans today, visitors. An elderly (I think) lady passed by while we were in the horse pasture. She was walking her dog, whomst barked a bit at the goats. So she didn’t come closer. But were kinda yelling back and forth to each other and she asked some questions about the goats and the horses. And then told me to have a nice day. You know what I appreciate? People telling me to continue having a nice day and sounding like they mean it. Saying it with a smile because they can’t but help smie at the weird guy sitting around with the cute goats. I get that fairly often and while it may not be a big gesture, it’s just nice to feel that common courtesy, that opposite of *flails arms and points at twitter and all the things*. Being nice, even with a couple of words, that still holds value. Maybe more so than ever. As the world gets more and more grim, those simple words feel more and more needed. So hey, that’s my suggestion to you. Say “have a nci day” and smile at someone who isn’t expecting it.
this has been my audition for the Mr Rogers sequel. Have a nice day.
30/7 2018
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This is horribly out of focus. I apologise for the horrid quality, but this is how I found them this morning. All that big horse pasture, and they sit together like that. All four of them. I love that.
30/7 2018
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I’m so glad my day ended up with these instead of still being in bed by now.
30/7 2018
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Sometimes, often, the people I see worried about “protecting Danish culture” (usually against muslims and other immigrants) are the worst, horrible people saying horrible, nasty, offensive things. And it makes me think, if they are the representation of Danish culture then what worth is there in Danish culture that we need to preserve?
r/Denmark is like twitter and youtube comment section sometimes.
*deletes America First rant* I think that’s enough for now. Just had to get that off my chest. If you’re a racist or bigot then maybe the things you care about aren’t the ones we need to put first.
30/7 2018
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Oh. On a nicer note. I just remembered something from last week. A mother with a couple of girls were visiting and adoring the goats. And they asked what the goats were called. And when I told them Sky’s name they lit up. The mother said something like “Did you hear, there’s one called Sky!”. I never found out why, but it seemed like they knew a Sky. Wonder if that Sky is a goat too.. later on the mother came back and said “which one of them was called Sky again?”. Seemed like they were really happy to see a Sky.
And today there was a mother with a little girl and the girl was called Esther which made me happy because it made me think of Esther the Wonder Pig.
30/7 2018
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Hey, wait. Isn’t that our house?
30/7 2018
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Alright, that’s as much as I can stand for today. Considering I was going to sleep the whole thing away, I’d say what I got out of it wasn’t so bad after all. Off to the dreamscape. It’s going to be a long one, as the nun said to the sailor, before the hymn.
30/7 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day everyone.
31/7 2018
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Sorry, he’s on a break. Try the next window.
31/7 2018
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I have given up getting a beard as long as grandma’s, but I’m still working on getting a belly as big as hers. #Goals #Goats
31/7 2018
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Finished Room To Dream by David Lynch last week. Highly recommended if you like the guy. Don’t expect him to give away too many secrets though. I loved the parts that he narrated himself, though it was frustrating when he’d go “This.. there are so many stories I could tell about this” and thne he’d move on without telling them! Sheesh. At the end he said “This only scratches the surface, I could talk for a hundred hours about every single day”. I believe him. Fascinating person. He made me laugh out loud as I was walking along, listening to the audibook. At the end he was thanking all the people that influenced his life. And then his kids. And he talked about his 3 first kids and how they were all doing arts and movies of some kind. And then he got to his last kid. “She draws a lot, I love her drawings. She’s really good at drawing. She hasn’t made a movie yet, but she’s only 5½ so…”. No pressure, kid!
With my interest in dreams, and dreaming, his work speaks to me greatly. And I need to look into transcendental meditation. I don’t know if it’s something that would work for me, but the way he talks about it makes me want to know more.
[posting on facebook intensifies]
31/7 2018
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Man, I sure hope none of the interviews in which I conducted myself in a racist, homophobic or misogynist manner turn out to be Sacha Baron Cohen segments!
1/8 2018
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You kick him in the shins, I’ll stomp on his soft bits. That’ll teach him to not forget the treats.
1/8 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, everyone.
1/8 2018
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Fell into a rabbit hole, fell a victim
1/8 2018
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We’re going to have to hire some more scruffy looking goat herders, this one’s gone all lazy.
1/8 2018
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This new app that inserts fake goats in all your selfies is working great. Worth every penny.
1/8 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Vanilje from 2006.
2/8 2018
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Good goat times today. A cool and cloudy morning. Thankfully without the murdering humidity. More and more sun as the day went on. Another lovely summer’s day. I can’t remember a summer like this in many. many years. Hot diddily hot.
Got the goats out for the grazing and the browsing. A little running around and some headbutting (I did not partake). And then relaxing in the goat pen. I did do a little work too. Hauled a couple of cinder blocks and a pavement tile into the goat pen and built a little pymgy sized plafform, along with a couple of tree stumps. Some stuff to jump on. For the goats too. There’s a pile of blocks and tiles out near the goat pen and I have no idea if there are plans for them or if they’re just leftovers, but I’m kind of stealthily appropriating them little by little. Hopefully I can make some more platforms. Hopefully I don’t get in trouble. I’ll just blame the goats. Those goats, can’t believe they robbed a pizza place too.
2/8 2018
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Another stressful day of goat herding. I don’t know how I do it. I’ll just rest my head on grandma until you guys show up with my award.
2/8 2018
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This is the little platform I made, with a walkway of logs. nothing special, but always nice to have stuff to jump on.
2/8 2018
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If I get scared i’ll just call you
2/8 2018
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This is a sponsored post paid for by the FakeGoatSelfie App. Put a fake goat in all your selfies and become the hit of your social circle. Everyone loves goats, it’s a proven scientific fact, we just can’t be bothered citing any sources or studies because we’re not boring like old farty professors! We’re hip, and you can be too! Put a fake goat in your selfie and enjoy life TO THE MAXIMUM (maximum enjoyment is a subjective value and your personal idea of maximum enjoyment may differ from that of FakeGoatSelfie-App-Inc and or its subsidiaries. Offer void in Tennessee. See the full terms and conditions on our website, stargoats.com which has been down for like a year I really need to ask Katt about that anyway I’m going to bed leave a message after the beep)
2/8 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Peanut from 2015.
3/8 2018
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Working on my next novel, One Less Iceberg. It’s an alternate history book in which the weather was so hot that the iceberg melted and the Titanic never sank. Inspired by real life current weather in my apartment.
3/8 2018
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Sky claims the new platform as her own. At least until a bigger goat comes along.
3/8 2018
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Grandma’s checking out the new platform and walkway. She generally prefers sticking close to the ground due to… gravity. Also notice Sky in her little hideyhole. And someone watching from the shadows.
3/8 2018
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Here’s some bonus content for the premium subscribers.
link: Me and goats video
3/8 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Ping and his funny ear from 2016.
4/8 2018
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goatlog
4/8 2018
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I finally watched The Last Jedi on DVD. My first viewing of it in good quality. I had been sort of putting it off. I was worried I wouldn’t like it. I was worried all the negativity and divisiveness and toxic fan culture would influnce my enjoyment of it. But I was happy to find that I actually love it. Not everything is perfect. Canto Bight and Del Toro was a bit wasted. Some of the humour was a little too much. I wish Holdo had been more true to her book appearance. But most of the things that have been controversial (the fate of Luke, the fate of Snoke, the nature of the force, Kylo and Rey force-skyping etc) are things that I’m totally on board with. I love Kylo Ren and Rey, I think they’re amazing and I can’t wait to see where the story goes. Yeah, there’s a part of me that wishes they had made the sequels trilogy 20 years ago so we could have gotten to see the original cast before they got so old. It was heartbreaking to see Carrie and Mark’s scene. And sad that we won’t get them and Harrison together. But all in all I think it’s a beautiful movie and I am well satisfied. I kinda hope they aren’t going to conclude everything in episode 9. Haven’t they already said they’re going to make another trilogy afterwards? So just carry on with these guys. Plus Lando. Aw yeah.
4/8 2018
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Somewhere, goat
4/8 2018
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Speaking of The Last Jedi. Two things I want:
A) Pet fathiers. We could use a couple in the goat pen.
2) a campout in the Millennium Falcon on Ach-To in the rain with porgs. Ach-To was gorgeous and the shots of the falcon in the rain just made me want to sit in the cockpit and listen to the rain.
4/8 2018
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There, goat
4/8 2018
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Band name idea: Dough Remy Zero.
Patent pending.
4/8 2018
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Hello Goat
4/8 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.
5/8 2018
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impure thoughts, repent sinner repeat repent repeat
5/8 2018
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There’s murder in their eyes. I mean, cute yeah. But cute murder.
5/8 2018
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fake it til you break it
5/8 2018
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I dreamt that I was in the dark dreaming dreams within dreams. Worlds within worlds. Were you there? I looked for you but I couldn’t find you.
5/8 2018
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My headspace isn’t great, but the goatspace is awesome
5/8 2018
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That’s all for this week.