I love Milo. Such a good boy.
link: Milo lapgoat video
11/3 2019
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“In unearthed audio, Tucker Carlson makes numerous misogynistic and perverted comments ”
In before Gayle King interview. ROBERT. I like beer #NicerBoats grab them by the pussy swear on a bible
11/3 2019
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Like and share if you think tomatoes are fish
11/3 2019
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It’s 3:08 am and all I can think about is having a fish tank with tomatoes now. I wonder if tomatoes float or sink?
I guess if they sink to the bottom you know they’re dead and you need to buy new tomatoes. For your fish tank.
If I ever go on vacation I’ll have to hire someone to feed my tomatoes while I’m gone. Otherwise I’ll return home and find them all sunk to the bottom.
I think my sanity is swimming upstream. What kind of bait should I use to catch it?
11/3 2019
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“Stop the invasion of Islam to the free world!”
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You know, free as long as you think what we want you to think and believe in the god we tell you to believe in. Follow the rules of our holy book, burn the others. Wear a cross around your neck, but not cloth around your head. Otherwise stay on the other side of the walls we’re building.

11/3 2019
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Today will be a good day, and I’m perfectly sane. Happy Mio Monday everyone.

11/3 2019
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Good goat times today. A lovely day. It was a cold morning, but there was a lot of sunshine so it quickly warmed up. By the time I reached the playground it was already comfortably mild. Spent most of the day with my coat off. Still in a sweater and blouse. But taking the heavy coat off feels good.
Took all the goats out for a little grazing. Just a few minutes. The grass isn’t really good enough for it yet. But it’s good practice for when the greens come in. Getting the newbies more comfortable with being out.
And then just a lot of sitting around, loving on the goaties. At one point Mia walked off and went to the bench and got up and sat on it. I was happy to see that. We usually only spend time on the bench when I lure them over there to film something. I’m glad they use the bench on their own accord too. It’s only now the weather is starting to get good enough to lounge on it, since I dragged it up there during the winter.
I went to film Mia sitting on the bench, but before I could get started Sky jumped up and joined her. Then they sat there together. Big girl and little girl. So sweet. And then later Milo joined them too. He couldn’t quite find a space to sit down with them, but he was standing there while Sky and Mia sat down. The gruesome threesome on the bench. Very lovely, very sweet. I spent a good deal of time on the bench too. Sitting with various combinations of goats at various times. You can clearly tell the difference between the newbies and the oldfurs, how they’ve been brought up. Milo and Sky are so content to sit on my lap and relax. They grew up with a silly human that insisted on having them as lapgoats. The newbies are perfectly comfortable with humans and love being petted, but they didn’t grow up weith weird scrufft looking goat herders forcing them to be lapgoats. Lily is so small and petite that I can lift her easily and put her in my lap. If I distract her with treats or scratchies she’ll sit sort of still, but once I stop she’ll immediately start trying to get up. I haven’t even tried with Sassy. She’s got a little more temperament and she’s on the verge of being too big to be lifted. Nuller of course loves it. If I don’t pick him up he’ll jump up there by himself. So in time I guess it’ll be 3 lapgoats and 3 notsomuchies. Mia would probably still do it, but she inherited the gravitational pull from grandma… It’s still lovely sitting next to her on the Mio bench. Chewing her cud, slightly snoring in the sunshine.
It’s going to be even better when the weather gets warmer. Dazing in the sunshine with bellies full of green. That’s the life.
11/3 2019
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Mia on the bench, while she still had it to herself.

11/3 2019
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I got a message from, I think it was a journalism student, something like that. He wanted to come by to do a project on Mia. But ut turns out he thought we were still at the old playground, and the project was supposed to be about the neighbourhood that playground is situated in. So I had to tell him we don’t live there anymore, we moved a couple of years ago. I kinda feel like I dodged a bullet there, haha. I mean it would have been fun to be interviewed and the subject of a journalism project, but it would also have involved talking to people. So you know. Bullet. It was fun when that Scottish photographer did it a few years a go. Remember that? I never found out if she actually used her photos for a project, she was a student too I believe, or if she ended up doing something else. In any case I got a bunch of great photos taken by a real photographer out of it, so that was good.
I’m still waiting for Oprah to get in touch to do a story about us.
11/3 2019
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Mia and Sky on the bench. Look at them. So sweet.

11/3 2019
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And here we have the 3 oldfurs on the bench. I’m not sure how easy it is for your normies to see Sky, but she’s still sitting there in the shadows between Mia and Milo. Mia and her babies from another mama.

11/3 2019
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Ladies and gentlemen, without a safety net I shall now perform a 180 flip-flop. I shall now amputate, I shall now contort.
Actually, on second thought I think I’ll just go to bed. Dream of a river full of tomatoes swimming upstream. Salmons of doubt and dolphins with cheshire shark smiles. Exploding trouts and winged halibuts. I have shot the president, I’m queen of Brittain for a cent. Wingnuts and dingbats, ring around the roses, tiger in the tank, circus elephants and mickey slipping mice, tripping daisies.
Oh you know, words. I know words. I am the dictionary and I am quite contrary. Hail to the thief and his harem of pornstars. Sleep with the fishes and pay them off later.
Freestyle, $5 or best offer.
END STATEMEN
11/3 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Hump Day everyone.
(Yogi Day, of course)

12/3 2019
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I’m pretty sure I dreamt that I photoshopped my head onto Arnold Schwarzenegger’s body.
Don’t ask.
12/3 2019
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Well, it’s been an interesting day on twitter. Apparently Lori Loughling and Felicity Huffman were part of some college admittance scam? (Rich people using money to fuck over poor people, what a shocker). And apparently Johnny Depp was the good guy all along and Amber Heard was the one abusing him (I hope this is true, because I want Depp to be the good by. But stuff like this and that Jussie guy just makes it easier for .. the youknowhos.. to say ‘there’s no such thing as hate crimes, #metoo is all lies’)
And then you have the president making it out like Hollywood is a cesspool, when he’s got a Hollywood star himself. Sheesh. What a world, am I right folks? No wonder I prefer goats.
12/3 2019
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Definitely prefer goats

12/3 2019
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If I had 3 wishes I’d bring Robin Williams back
12/3 2019
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Hay

13/3 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy actual hump day.

13/3 2019
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Why are you not pancakes?
13/3 2019
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Sunshine on Lily

13/3 2019
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On the lookout

13/3 2019
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bad rambling post, even for my standards. Don’t read if you don’t wanna get mad.
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‘The Volatile Mermaid @OhNoSheTwitnt
“Gender neutral public bathrooms are endangering girls!” shouted Tucker Carlson who said he wanted to fuck a “vulnerable” underage Miss Teen USA contestant.’
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He’ll have to fight his way past the President of the United States of America who is on record saying that he bursts into their changing rooms to catch them naked, which is a fact that was known before he was elected I do believe. Happy Wednesday, thanks for upholding the high moral standards, good christians. PS you can buy a bible signed by Trump on ebay now in case you want to make sure to go to hell. I guarantee Trump has banged more pornstars than he’s read paragraphs in the bible.
PPS. It was interesting to see good Republicans who are supposed to be all about Thou Shalt Not Kill and all about Pro Life cheering for a father who got away with murdering a guy that murdered his daughter. Now, don’t get me wrong. I understand the father doing that. Completely. But cheering for a murder? I mean. I can’t help thinking… that’s like the terrorists. The terrorists think they have a right to kill. They think they are justified. When they fly a plane into a building they believe they are doing god’s work. And when their likeminded people cheer for what they did. Isn’t that the same? When you boil it down, it’s cheering for a guy who murdered someone because he felt it was justified. You sympathize with one, but you don’t understand others sympathize for the other.
There’s supposed to be a rule of law. You don’t get to be Judge Dredd and be jury and executioner. I don’t like it when people cheer for murder, even if I understand it. I do, I really do. That’s why you have a judge and jury give out the sentencing, not the family of the victims.
Anyway, this got completely away from me. I realise this might be upsetting even to people who normally agree with me. But fuck it, I’ll post it. WE’ll DO IT LIVE.
This concludes today’s controversial ranting. Feel free to unfriend or debate me. I’ll go calm down and post some goat stuff. Just gotta go change my clothes, because they all ripped apart when I turned into the blue smurf hulk just now.
13/3 2019
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Sorry about that. I blew up in my face. I’m going to go to bed early, because I am tired and I want to dream instead of being in this world. Dream instead. Of pancakes and flufferbies, hurricanes and strobe lights. See you in the dark, when you least expect it. OR IS IT

13/3 2019
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Today will be a good day. Everything’s fine, everything’s cool. Here’s Preben from 2013.

14/3 2019
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Apparently I broke Facebook yesterday? Sorry.
Haha. I woke up and saw several of my scheduled posts on Mia’s page hadn’t been published. I thought something had gone wrong, but I guess Facebook was down yesterday.
Anyway, I gotta exercise, see you all later. Where’s the Any key?
14/3 2019
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Is that bus ever going to get here? I’ve been waiting at the bus stop for ages.

14/3 2019
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Here is some bonus content for the premium subscribers. Exclusive behind-the-scenes footage of Milo supervising as I set up the camera.
link: bts video
14/3 2019
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Go on. Ask me what I think about Brexit. I dare ya. *fingers the trigger warning button*
14/3 2019
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The FluffyBot 3000.

14/3 2019
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Did I ever mention that my blood pressure was too high? Over the winter, as I got more unhealthy, my blood pressure got worse. They upped the meds I was taking from 1 pill to 3. That still only just got me into the acceptable levels, it was still bordering on too high. Well, now after a couple of months where I’ve started eating better and exercising again, I measured my blood pressure today. And now it’s bordering on too low, one of the numbers dipping down to too low. So that shows you what exercise and proper diet can do. I guess I’ll have to have my meds adjusted again. I have also dropped a couple of pounds, but I would have dropped a couple more if I’d stayed off the pizza completely. Oh well. There’s probably a couple of months till t-shirt weather. Hopefully I can drop at least another few pounds before then. It’s easy. Just have to not eat junk food *gnaws fist*
14/3 2019
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Today will be a good day. I’m gonna party like it’s my birthday. Miss you, grandma.

15/3 2019
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Good goat times today. Went out and partied with my friends. Bleat bleat.
A grey day, with rain on and off. It was dry right when I got there, though. Which was good because a little group of kindergarteners came by. I picked up Nuller and held him up at the fence so the kids could pet him. He’s getting bigger, but he’s still the baby.
While Nuller was being adored, the others put on a big circus. I think it was another of those hormonal days. Headbutting and chasing wagging tails. Sassy was doing grumbly grunty noises. And butting heads with Mia, who whinnied her disapproval. Milo and Sky pushing each other off the rocks. I think I need to switch them to decaf.
One of the little kindergarteners told them to stop it, I think shew as a little frightened by the headbutting. It does look quite violent. The goats didn’t listen to her suggestion.
Other than that it was mostly just sitting around. passing out treats, watching the rain. I did manage to get an (almost) bloody nose. Nuller was sitting in my lap but wanted to get up, so he ended up jabbing his growing horn into my nose. Happy birthday to me!
Goats are the gift that keeps on giving. Bruises and smiles.
15/3 2019
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Birthday smoochies

15/3 2019
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Well, I am going to start heading to the bedplace. It’s been a weird day. I haven’t mentioend it yet, but of course what happened in New Zealand has been on my mind. It’s been hard being really happy today. If you know me, you know these kinds of things drag me into dark places. Thes stupid empathy muscle working overtime. And you know how I feel about the world. But thankfully the day has also been a long line of sweet posts, keeping me distracted and showing me that I’m lucky to know such a bunch of good people. I’m just some guy on the internet, it warms my heart that you all care. I think this is the most I’ve said “thank you” since that time I won a year’s supply of pizza. Wait, I think that was a dream.
Thank you all for letting the light in. I hope I managed to reply to everyone. I will probably have a few to catch up with tomorrow. Don’t wait up, it might be a while. I have a year’s supply of pizza to dream through.
< 3 ALL
15/3 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Mr Mads from 2008.

16/3 2019
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Another year older and deeper in debt. To you all for your kindness. Thank you.
16/3 2019
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Someone unfriended me on my birthday. Hahaha. Neat. I guess they saw the birthday notification and thought “WTF am I still friends with that complete bag of *****!?!” and then smashed that unfriend button. Hatters gon hat.
16/3 2019
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Here’s the video from when Lily joined Nuller on my lap.
link: Nuller & Lily in my lap video
16/3 2019
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Thank you Angeline Slaats for this lovely card! Sorry bout the cruddy photo. Thank you for all you do for your animals, thanks for the helpful talk when I was dealing with the Mio situation.

16/3 2019
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Also, shoutout to my mother for baking biscuit cake and shoutout to my dad for bringing it to me.
16/3 2019
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I’m sorry if you didn’t get an invitation to my birthday afterparty. It’s just, I have to be c areful. I had the goats screen all the applications. Gotta keep the riff-raff out. Youj know. *whispers* the humans.
16/3 2019
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Lasse ‘Two Hats’ Henriksen.
Don’t ask me how many sheds I have…

16/3 2019
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You have selected to [NOT] hear me talk about gun control. Thank you, come again.
17/3 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone. Remember that time a storm brought down a big tree at the playground? This is the closest we’ve been to goats climbing trees here.

17/3 2019
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Sassy’s got a bit more temper than Lily, but she is also a sweet goat.

17/3 2019
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Milo, el fluffo grande

17/3 2019
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That’s all for now.

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