Smoke Without Fire
Today will be a good day. Happy Mio Monday everyone.
18/3 2019
—
.
I ended up going to bed yesterday, in the middle of the day. Tired of the world. Slept a great long time. And had series of wonderful dreams. My favourite was one that was like an American tv show, I was a black teen in school (which is funny because I’m the whitest white that ever whited) and there was a lot of drama and I got expelled and it really was like a tv show. Sometimes my dreams are like that. There was another dream where I was communicating with goats by sign language, but it was streamed to twitter. I think.
And there was so much more. I love my dream.s The dreamworld is so beautiful, clear and real. The real world is a drag and Dean Cain is an ass. Why would I want to be here?
Oh right. Goats. And you guys. I guess. You’re alright.
18/3 2019
—
.
Good goat times today. Had a ritual blood letting at the doctor’s first. To appease the Old Ones. Then onto the goats, whomst are much less satanic than some humans I know. But I digress. Took them all out of the pen for some grazing. Longer than I have before. Everyone behaved nicely. Had some fun running around. At one point there came a singsong voice from the kindergarten fence. “Oh nice man, can you get the goats to come over here?”. The kindergarteners wanted a closer look. So I brought the goats over to the fence and much rejoicing was had. Although the goats were a little disappointed that they had been to invited to a party that didn’t include hors d’oeuvres, or indeed any food at all. Terrible hosts, I tell you. Back to the grass instead. Not that the grass is much good yet either. But it’s something to do. And then we hung out in the pen, with silly goating around and uncle’s fresh fruit delivery service. Now we’re talking. Bleat bleat.
18/3 2019
—
.
Out goating
18/3 2019
—
.
This kid, tho. I can’t even with this kid.
18/3 2019
—
.
Btw, Kristen Bell never showed up for my birthday. So I’ll be refunding all your kickstarter donations, thanks.
18/3 2019
—
.
It’s humbling seeing Egg Boy being more of a man than [insert names of feckless politicians, and Dean Cain]
18/3 2019
—
.
Currently listening to a Danish audiobook (Dennis Jürgensen for the win) and the name “Jabba The Hutt” was in the text and the narrator pronounced it as if it was a Daish name. Iaba de Hoot. I can dig it.
18/3 2019
—
.
A Shawshank Redemption reboot starring all the Trump campaign people going/gone to prison.
18/3 2019
—
.
Alright, let’s have some darn goats.
18/3 2019
—
.
18/3 2019
—
.
goatlog
18/3 2019
—
.
Yo mama so meme
19/3 2019
—
.
Brb, working on a spec script for a new Indiana Jones movies. In which he fights nazis, again. Yes, it’s set in 2019 and… DO YOU GET IT NAZIS AMIRATE WAKE UP SHEEPLE
19/3 2019
—
.
Squad goats
19/3 2019
—
.
Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi Day everyone.
19/3 2019
—
.
I smelled smoke earlier and wondered if I had shorted circuit or my space heater was setting something on fire. Just read on the newses that the fire brigade is fighting a fire in my neighbour. So I guess that explains that. I think it might be in the new building they’re building across the road from me.
19/3 2019
—
.
home boys n goat girlz
19/3 2019
—
.
Today will be a good day. Happy Hump Day everyone.
20/3 2019
—
.
Watcha gon do with all that fluff, all that fluff in those pantaloons?
20/3 2019
—
.
goatlog
20/3 2019
—
.
Man, the birds were really ahead of the game. We all should have been angry a long time ago.
20/3 2019
—
.
Nuller Man says hi
link: Nuller video
20/3 2019
—
.
It’s interesting how people shape reality in their heads. Like, people who think they live in a democracy but also think that their vote should matter more or less depending on their geographical location. I don’t get how that can be reconciled in your head. Yet it is for about half of Americans. Go figure.
I know it sucks for people in rural areas, but yes. A more densely populated area should get more votes. Because there are more people in it. And one person should be one vote. Hence lots of people should mean lots of votes. That may suck if you live in a place with few people. But the other way around… is not democracy.
Of course it’s not surprising that the people who most often win without getting most votes wouldn’t want it to be changed. I just feel like then you should make sure to be upfront and say it when talking about it. Say “we can’t win in a democracy so we prefer to not have a democracy”.
Convince me otherwise, I dare you.
20/3 2019
—
.
Hey look, a goat. Now let me tell you about Sassy’s radical political observations…
21/3 2019
—
.
I know this isn’t relevant to anything, but if you’re a fan of the Alien franchise (and the Predator one as well) this youtube channel is really great. Lots of theories and explanations and deep dives on subjects. Great stuff. 10/10 would facehug again.
link: Alien Theory Youtube channel
21/3 2019
—
.
it is an old sin and you carry it like a plague, spreading your kind as disease wherever you go, born to multiply and die and corrupt the soil you rot in
21/3 2019
—
.
we love you gojira
21/3 2019
—
.
Today will be a good day. Here’s Popcorn and Peanut from 2015.
21/3 2019
—
.
Good goat times today. Pleasant temperatures upwards of 10C/50F. Didn’t wear my sweater today. Did wear a blouse and a t-shirt under a heavy winter coat. But then I kept the coat open most of the day, and it was too hot walking home. So maybe it won’t be long before I can drop the winter coat. That’d be a treat.
Let the goats out for some fun. We went the furthest yet. All the way up to the bleachers. Remember those? Nobody got on them, though. Mia got up on the bench next to them. The newbies didn’t get up on the elevated part. But it was nice walking up the grass, along the kindergarten fence. With kids cheering us on. And then a fun run back to base camp.
Good times at the pen also. Several visitors at the fence. They always get happy when I pick up Nuller and go over to them so they can pet him. Big hit at parties.
I can tell things are more complicated now, with 6 goats. As soon as I give one a treat I have a circle of beggars around me. Yeah, I can tell the treat budget is increasing. I may have to start a fundraiser. (Just kidding, I’d just end up spending it all on pizza. I’m a crook!). I don’t mind spending the money. Although I may need an extra pair of pants to have pockets to carry all the treats.
It can be complicated to make sure everyone gets attention too. They all get along okay, with the stipulation that they don’t mix much. If the newbies approach then Milo and Sky still run away. Unless it’s just Lily, then maybe they’ll stand their ground. I want them to butt heads instead of run away. That’s how you get to know each other and settle the hierarchy. But i can be hard to make sure everyone gets their share. Got a couple of boys who want to jump on my back, a couple of gals who want smooches, and a couple of gals who think they should be in charge of everything. Yeah, whoever said it was easy to hang out with goats!?
With the extra faces and all the fun, it’s taking more time to edit photos and film as well. I may have to hire an assistant. Submit your application in bleating, please.
I’m not really complaining of course. It’s my happy place and I’m thankful I have it. Goat only knows where I’d be without them.
21/3 2019
—
.
Gone Goatin’. Don’t miss Milo and Sky at the fence, entertaining the kindergarteners.
21/3 2019
—
.
I forgot how wonderful this was. Even more funny when you remember him running around with his half-brother Peanut, who was soo well-coordinated. Peanut rarely took a wrong step, while Popcorn just tumbled around like he was in a bouncy castle. Goat, I loved those kids. I miss all my kids.
link: Popcorn & the backpack video
21/3 2019
—
.
Sky’s too cool for goat school
21/3 2019
—
.
Turns out Max was way ahead of the game. We should all have been mad a long time ago.
21/3 2019
—
.
Tuning out for today. I’m ahead of the game, guess we all should have been asleep by now.
If you need me, call 555-DREEMURR and ask for your money back, no questions asked.
21/3 2019
—
.
Today will be a good day. I dreamt about grandma. thank you
22/3 2019
—
.
Milo is planning his ascend
22/3 2019
—
.
It was nice seeing grandma in my dreams. It was a pretty funny dream. She was in the goat house, and she was cold so she wanted me to put a log on fire for her. Not on THE fire, but on fire. She wanted me to light a log on fire so she could lie on it. Which caused a lot of problems because I kept accidentally setting the (wooden) house and all the straw on fire. Apparently the house and straw being on fire was dangerous, but a burning log was fine to sit on? Okay, grandma!
Yesterday when I was with the goats, the handicap badge fell of my jacket. When I went to put it back on, I realised that the place I put it on my sleeve is the place that was torn when I was hunting grandma in the thick branches last year. Remember that? My mother sewed it together. Maybe it was seeing that and the memories that sent out a beacon that got grandma to drop by in the dream.
22/3 2019
—
.
Hey, America. I have an idea for you.
How about you get rid of the Electoral College. Wait, hear me out. And then rural America, in order to not get fucked over you import a shit-ton of refugees and immigrants. That way you get as many votes as the densely populated states. Plus you get the joyous feeling of helping out people in need. If you’re a so-called Christian, shouldn’t that be a goal in itself? Instead of throwing refugee children in cages, give them some farmland. Make the world a better place and get to experience that thing called democracy. Then you just need to fix the gun problem and do something about health care and you will also be able to annoy your friends by smugly mentioning that you live in one of the happiest countries in the world. Try it, you might like it!
Call me, Beto.
22/3 2019
—
.
Here’s my prediction. Republicans will not believe it if the Mueller report incriminates Trump. And Democrats won’t believe it if it doesn’t.
SHARP POLITICAL ANALYSIS FROM ASKEW, subscrub for more and don’t forget to ring that bell. Tune in tomorrow when my guests will be Rudy Giuliana, Egg Boy and First Mistress *reads card* Stormy Daniels. Count Chocula had to cancel due to him being deported by ICE.
22/3 2019
—
.
This is a public apology on behalf of the goat party. Nuller wishes it to be known that the human has been reprimanded and will not happen again.
22/3 2019
—
.
Heads or tails?
22/3 2019
—
.
William Barr: “What report?” *finishes chewing pages of paper and swallows*
Gayle King: “Williiiam”.
22/3 2019
—
.
If you want to be part of the gang, you gotta pay the price. How much pasta do you have?
22/3 2019
—
.
A special treat for the premium subscribers. A preview of a future video. Nuller’s first taste of tomato. But look at Mia, watching like a hawk. That’s the good thing about Nuller being so small. I can lift him up on the roof of shelter and I can give him stuff without the others interrupting. If Mia had wings she’d be swooping in.
23/3 2019
—
.
Here’s the Nuller report. Still cute.
23/3 2019
—
.
Today will be a good day. Here are the Ping Pong twins from 2016.
23/3 2019
—
.
Who’s that little fluffybutt there? Ah, it’s Sky. She still goes in her little hidey hole sometimes. Safe from big goats.
23/3 2019
—
.
Newbies on parade
23/3 2019
—
.
What the Hugstables.
Wait, that’s probably not appropriate anymore.
Well, I am heading off into the great unknown. If you need me just follow the goat berry trail.
23/3 2019
—
.
Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.
24/3 2019
—
.
Whoa Black Beauty, bam-a-lam
24/3 2019
—
.
Look what got mail! A couple of birthday cards.
Thank you Cindy Porter for the musical card! I’ll be shaking my booty to the rhythms!
And thank you CarolAnn Ellis for the beautiful card and the beautiful words within!
Much obliged!
24/3 2019
—
.
24/3 2019
—
.
bla bla bla, stupid steam letting, don’t read.
.
.
blablabla.
.
Wanted to say something about the second Parkland survivor killing themself. But what can you say that you haven’t said before? You don’t want gun control. You say it’s a mental health issue but you still leave the kids to kill themselves. You see an immigrant kill someone and you want to build walls, but you still let the white terrorists keep shooting up yuor country. And your leader insinuates that the military, police and bikers will get violent if he doesn’t get his way. You let the people who profit from guns write your legislation. You let the guy with the fewest votes run your country. You don’t give a shit about human life, once it’s born. You don’t give a shit about animal life, I mean you say you do but you still elect leaders that worship the corporations while the environment suffers. And it’s going to be another 6 years of Trump, because republicans don’t care that he’s openly racist, misogynistic, lying his ass of. Fine with being allied with Russia and North Korea. And he doesn’t need the most votes to win, so how canhe fail. Keep all the coloured people from voting, even though the actual exposed real voter fraud is by a Republican. And the Jerry mandering, what’s the deal with airplane food? and so on and so on and so on and so on and so on. I slept 20+ hours but I just want to go back to bed. stupid world stupid lasse stupid world stupid lasse. stop hitting yourself stop hittin
24/3 2019
—
.
I wish I had some chocolate. Nevermind selling girlscout cookies to stoners, setup shop selling chocolate to depressed people.
24/3 2019
—
.
Showing off the horns. They grow too fast.
24/3 2019
—
.
Everything is great tra la la goats
24/3 2019
—
.
Hi Sky
24/3 2019
—
.
.
—
That’s all for now.