Get Better
Happy Mio Monday everyone, I hope it’s a good one.
20/2 2023
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Good goat times today. But bad back times. It was a mix affair today.
The goat times are always good of curse. A stormy, rainy day. But just lovely to be with the goats. And the chickens. I was giving out apples to the goats and one of the redshirts starting horning on the action, pecking the apple, practically fighting off Milo and Sky for it haha.
Nice to see Jeanette again, we talked about it was going and somehow it came up that I’m turning 45 in March. Yeah she was a little shocked by that. I have always had a baby face. Big fat baby face. But I’m feeling ooold now. Old and worn.
Unfortunately I had to go do tech support for my parents too. You know I’m happy to be able to help them with the computer stuff, but not great timing now. Even taking the bus half the way there, it was tough. The walk home was in the pouring ruain with excruciating pain. It was not fun. And then I had to go do shopping afterwards too. Ugh. Feeling slightly better now, after more painkillers and siting in my comfy chair with a foam roller to force my back into better posture. But yeah it was bad today. My arm is.. well not back to normal, but I can use it almost like normal. So that’s something. But my back. Constant pain now.
Got a new appointment with the physical therapist in a couple of days, after the last one was cancelled. We’ll see if that does anything. I almost feel like going back to my doc and begging for stronger painkillers. I know morphine is bad IN THEORY but yeah yeah. Ugh. It’s been three and a half weeks and I am so tired of pain and depression.
Thankful I can see the goats at least.
20/2 2023
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Thankn goodness for goats.
20/2 2023
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HappY Yogi daY everyone. I hope it’s a good one.
21/2 2023
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Jeanette brought some pine trimmings from the christmas tree farmer where she lives. Yum yum.
21/2 2023
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Not only did Jeanette bring pine trimmings, she’s also put up these brushes for the goats. Took the end of a couple of brooms and put them up. I have not seen the goats use them to scratch themselves, I did try to lure them over to the but they weren’t too interested. And then of course Milo got scared when I rustled the brushes a bit. Typical. Haha. Well, hopefully they’ll figure it out. They may already have while I wasn’t around. I know they love scratching up against stuff, so it would be nice if they could use this.
21/2 2023
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And we’re not done with the nice things jeanette did. She also got me this chair. We had discussed how my back wasn’t doing so good. She cleaned this chair up and brought it for me, so I wouldn’t have to get down so low when I wanted to sit down. How nice of her. I didn’t get to use it because she came over with it shortly before I had to go do tech support for my parents. And now that I think about it, I do actually like sitting on ground level when I’m with the goats. But it might be good to use for a bit while my back is so bad. In any case, so nice of her to always think of me and the goats.
21/2 2023
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I’ve got Bette Midler thighs.
22/2 2023
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Happy Hump Day everyone. I hope it’s a good one.
22/2 2023
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Good physical therapy times today. My second real appointment, after the one last week was cancelled.
The very nice therapist asked how I was doing, andI told him that my arm and shoulder was doing a lot better but my back a lot worse.
I hadn’t been sure if he could treat my back, since I’d been referred to him for the arm and shoulder. I asked if we could just treat that or if I had to go back to my doctor and get it looked at and get referred to some place for the back. But he said it was no problem to treat the back too. And that’s what we did. We did some talking and then I got on the ..the word escapes me now. What’s it called, the thing you lie down on.
Anyway. He acupunctured my back. And that was pretty much all we did today. He said my back was super tense and i really fel it when he was pushed down on my lower back. I could use a massage i think!
I did feel less tense when I got up afterwards. But when i went shopping later i got pretty bad back pain again, so I’m definitely not fixed. Next appointment at the end of next week.
We had talked about maybe scanning my shoulder, but he said that since i’d seen so much improvement we should wait with that. Wait and see if I keep getting better. I’m ok with that. honestly, my arm and shoulder is doing fairly well. I can do pretty much everything I could before my fall now. I feel like the blunt trauma or whatever happened when I fell has pretty much healed and I am close to being back to where I was before I fell. I am not sure how much I talked about my condition before then. I know I mentioned offhand a couple of times that I was having some shoulder pains. But I was kind of not being completely honest about it. I was doing that thing I sometimes do where I pretend I’m fine and I just hope it will go away on it’s own because I don’t want to go to the doctor. That worked out great for me, huh! The truth is that before I fell I had been going for a couple of months probably with pains in my arm and shoulder. I had to take painkillers to sleep at night. It wasn’t so bad that I couldn’t function and do things, but there was definitely something wrong. And when I fell it got a million times worse and the painkillers no longer worked at night and for a couple of weeks I could barely move my arm at all. Now it’s almost a month after I fell and I’m close to being back where I was before. But I doubt I will get much better now. I think the fall trauma healed but whatever was going on before that had been going on for months and so I don’t think that will just heal on its own.
The physical therapist said we’d wait a little and see if it keeps getting better and if not then he’ll refer me back to my doctor and then we’ll see if I need an mri or ultrasound or whatever to find out what’s wrong. I’m okay with that. It’s a relief to be able to use my arm almost normally. The back pain feels like a higher priority now.
I was planning to go see the goats tomorrow, but I think I’m going to take the rest of the week off and rest and relax my back. Try to do some exercises and stretches. I’m real tired of being in pain. But hopefully we’re on the right track.
22/2 2023
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As I was getting ready to leave for physical therapy today I had the news channel running on the telly, and they went into a story about Queen Margrethe going in for major back surgery today. Last I heard she is recovering well. Us queens and our backs, eh? Royal pain in the
https://people.com/royals/queen-margrethe-denmark-back-surgery-health-update/
z22/2 2023
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I hope today is a good one. Here’s Finn and Jacob from 2009.
23/2 2023
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Whoda thought that after all something as simple as rock and roll would save us all.
23/2 2023
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Haven’t taken any painkillers in 24 hours, and I think my arm and shoulder is doing okay. Maybe I can just take it for bedtime, I will probably still need it for that. But the general constant pain in my arm seems to be pretty much gone, so that’s good.
My back isn’t really hurting right now, but I can feel the tension there. If I were to go out for a walk I would definitely be hurting. The painkillers don’t really seem to work against the back pain.
I don’t know, it just feels like my whole body is a mess and my mental state isn’t great either. But I think I may try to sleep in my bed tonight. On my stomach. Maybe that will be better for my back. I guess we’ll see.
I am tired.
23/2 2023
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I hope today will be a good one. Here’s Herman from 2008.
24/2 2023
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Phew. I got on the exercise bike today, for the first time since my accident. Oh boy. I could feel that. Literally after 2 minutes with zero resistance setting, my legs were tired. I used to take 10-20 minutes of that just to warm up before upping the resistance. Yeah, I can definitely feel that I have barely been active the last month. Also put on a pound or two. Oh well. I managed about 40 minutes, 15ish with some resistance. I just wanted to try and see if I can get back in the swing of things. Hopefully I can. It does feel good to be physically active. And it gives me a chance to listen to my audiobook (currently Fairy Tale by Stephen King) and listen to my music. It’s nice, just gotta make the effort.
Right now it’s a bit of a tug of war. I have two states. One that says “I want to get fit again, I want to be active and lose weight get stuff done, that will help me feel better in many ways”. And the other that says “I am tired and I am sad and everything is going wrong and I just want to sit in front of the computer and eat unhealthy things”. The last one has been winning out mostly the last month. Hopefully the first one can start to take over now. Well, hooves crossed.
When I was at the physical therapist he asked how my diabetes was going and I said mostly good but i’d been having a hard time because of the depression and all, and it was so easy to just give up and eat comfort food and stay still. And he complimented me on how aware I was of that dynamic, said that a lot of people weren’t that self aware. So hey, nice to get a compliment. I deserve a cookie. Or uhm, a carrot. I guess.
I’m trying. Trying to not give up.
24/2 2023
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For the premium subscribers, here are some highlights from an upcoming video. The redshirts attack the apple! This hasn’t happened before so it took me quite by surprise.
24/2 2023
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Happy Caturday everyone. I hope it’s a good one. Here’s Nala.
25/2 2023
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Well, today was my brother’s turn to go to the ER. His leg was swollen and he was in a lot of pain. He had some kind of infection. He’s back home now and I think he’s doing better. But he’ll be taking next week off from work.
Yeah, this family really benefits from the Danish health care system.
On a brighter note, my dad tells me he’s doing well with the mental and physical exercises he’s getting. He goes 3 times a week and it seems to be doing him a lot of good, especially physically. Like he says, it can’t stop the dementia. He has told me this all 3 times this week when he told me the same update about his exercises. I don’t mind hearing it multiple times when it’s, mostly, good news. Even if his memory still lapses, I can definitely tell he seems to be in better physical condition. So that’s good. Hopefully Peter’s leg will get better too and hopefully I can keep up the exercises now again too. There might even be soup next week, hooves crossed.
I’m going to try sleeping in my bed tonight. I said a couple of days ago that I was going to try sleeping on my stomach in bed, but I ended up not doing that, slept in my chair again. So tonight will be the first time back in bed since last weekend. I will try if I can sleep on my stomach for some of it, hoping that arching of the back will be beneficial. And hoping I can get up tomorrow and exercise. Feel free to believe! I will also try to stop buying unhealthy snacks. Like the vanilla fudge I’ve been eating way too much of the last couple of weeks. Gonna get me cucumber and mini carrots. Hooo…. ray?
We’ll do it live.
25/2 2023
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Alritey then. I’m going to start shutting down the machines and head towards the bed, hope it will go okay. Here’s to hope.
I have acquired a few Frank Turner albums and i am greatly appreciating them. I have been listening to his song Get Better for months and loving it, but I think his whole ‘thing’ is very appealing to me. Folk Punk I saw it described as? In any case there’s such a great energy and lyrical wit and sort of positivity to his music. I wish I could infuse my life with that energy.One of his albums is called Positive Songs For Negative People. Haha. I am a fatalistic depressed miserably loser, but I try to be hopefuly and positive. Anyway. I wholeheartedly recommend you listen to some Frank Turner. it’s good stuff.
Won”t sit down, won’t shut up. And most of all I will not grow up.
Say goodnight to the folks, Gracie..
25/2 2023
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Happy Funday everyone. I hope it’s a good one.
26/2 2023
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Well, I managed to follow my plan from yesterday. I got in bed. Tried lying on my stomach. I couldn’t really sleep like that. Uncomfortable and my nose got stuffed, though I don’t know if that was due to the position. But I spent some time on my stomach. And rolled over. Didn’t get a perfect night’s sleep, but a fairly good one in and out of sleep and dreams. When I woke up I did my back exercises and stretches in bed. Much easier than getting down on the hard floor. I did feel like my back was a little more relaxed and comfortable when I got up. It’s tensed up since. But compared to some of the other times I slept in bed and my back was wrecked when i got up, this was a lot better. Maybe if I can keep this up it will start to help my back.
Then I got up and got on the exercise bike. Felt a lot better than on Friday when I had my first time since the accident. Then my legs hurt after 2 minutes of not resistance. Today I could do my 20ish minutes of warmup without my legs feeling awful. Went about an hour and 10 minutes. About 40 minutes with some resistance in the settings. Not bad for the second time. I will try to keep it up.
I wouldn’t say I’m feeling great, there’s tension and pain. But I do feel a bit more optimistic and motivated. It does feel good to be active. I will do my best to keep it up.
26/2 2023
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Bonus Funday. I love Palle’s baby voice so much. He kept it for quite a while. And so sweet to see Mia come runnin. Tell me again that animals don’t have feelings and bonds. That is a mama coming for her boy.
26/2 2023
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WARNING, this is just a long bullshirt post with nothing important, just a mind crashing in on itself and spinning out of control.
During my exercise ride today one of my alltiem favourite songs came on. 747 by Kent. It’s in Swedish, but there’s a line that translates to “we are moving, you are still standing still” and it spun my mind off in a big detour, thinking about the world today. How some people are fighting so hard to not move forward. Change is hard, I hate change so much. But when it comes to the world, progress is inevitable. The harder you dig your heels in, the harder you’re going to fall when progress bulldozes over you. There’s a certain segment, politically speaking, I don’t have to spell it out, you know what I mean. A wing that doesn’t want things to change, that wants to keep up the monuments of the past even though they represent problematic things. I can understand how it can all seem weird and dumb and uncomfortable and hard, when everything changes. Genders and sexuality and morals and ethic and animal rights and all sort of dynamics shifting and the world changing in big and small ways. I’m not saying I understand it all. But I also don’t understand wanting to cling on to the past. Because the past in many ways isn’t that great. Human history is filled with so much shit, and in this day and age you have to be able to look beyond that it might have been good for your and your [insert demographic here]. You can’t want things tno to change, surely.
I was reading on the denmark subreddit a debate about non-dairy milk and how to get enough calcium. And it turns out from what i read there, and I haven’t fact-checked it, that milk isn’t even the best source of calcium, we can get more of it from various foods and it’s more about being able to absorb it and stuff. But then one guy pops up and says something like “well humans have always drank milk what’s wrong with that”. Such an oldfashioned view, the “it ain’t broke so don’t fix it” and I get it that YOU CAN’T MILK ALMONDS and it’s all strange and weird. But really. Just because humans have always drank milk, that’s not a good reason to alwys keep doing it. If you can get better calcium from other places. And if you can hurt the planet and cows less by milking fkn almonds. Just because Big Milk has indoctrinated us with the idea that you need to drink milk. It’s so weird. I actually don’t drink milk. It wasn’t some big informed decision, it just kind of happened. I guess I just like Pepsi Max more. I take supplements and my levels of everything is monitored because of my diabetes. But you don’t really need to drink milk. In fact humans are the only ‘animal’ tha keeps drinking milk once they’re grown up. And drinking other milk of other species. There was actually a bit about that in a sci-fi novel I read a while ago, some aliens were shocked and aghast because EW HUMANS DRINK THE MILK FROM OTHER SPECIES. Haha when you think about it, it’s kind of weird. It made sense in the past, but now? It doesn’t really. You don’t have to just keep doing it because we always did it.
There’s a guy I’m subscribed to on youtube, I love his retro content, but when he gets political it’s so annoying. Youk now, like me now if you don’t agree with my views! Haha. But one of his things is that he thinks climate change isn’t real. He’ll look out the window and say what the weather is and then complain about the ‘climate brigade’. Now I don’t know a lot about climate change and global warming. But I know you can’t just look out the window and think that’s enough information to know whether the world is fked. You can’t say “Oh it’s a cold day, so global warming can’t be real.”.
Some people think animals don’t have feelings, we don’t have to make them feel okay if we’re just going to kill and eat them. Some peopel think all trans kids are wouldbe r’pists and the only thing that keeps them from r’ping is that they’d get detention if they were caught in the wrong bathroom. There was a time when if you were anything but straight you had a mental disease and women couldn’t be trusted to be involved with political decision. People are fkn nuts and clinging on to all the stupid things. Yeah if you were white then slavery probably wasn’t so bad. Some of the most important people in American history thought slavery was just fine and natural. Denmark has a shady past too, white people traveling around the world thinking that what they found was theirs, people, land, materials. We need to move forward and be better and learn. I don’t know what the right direction is, but if you’re standing still then you’re going nowhere. And if you don’t understand it all, well maybe trust that the younger generations do.
Anyway, sorry for all that rambling. It took my mind off my hurting legs as a bike! And all from that simple sentence. We’re moving, you’re standing still. I had to recreate it all from memory when I got back to the computer. I’m sure I lost a lot of the interesting details, but you can remain assured that I definitely know what I’m talking about and that I’m wort listening to.
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26/2 2023
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Alright we better have some goat content. Sky vs chicken. Don’t come near muh apples!
26/2 2023
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That’s all for now.