From the past
Good goat times today. Another lovely day that felt like spring. Slightly colder than last week and with a little light cloud coverage. But lots of sunshine too and creeping above 10C/50F as the day went on. Lovely stuff.
Lots of sitting around in the sun with the goats. And watching their peculiarities. Luna grunting like she was in heat. Sitting like a puppy. Bella rubbing her face and then whole body on the platform ramp, tail wagging. Sky just wanting to sit and roast. I love running my hand through her still thick winter coat as it gets so hot in the sun. Happiness is a warm fluff.
We had some nice visitors too, not sure if it was a couple of families or daycares. A couple of little girls came into the pen. At one point they were standing on each side of Luna, petting her. It was about the cutest thing ever. These girls maybe a head taller than Luna, one on each side, Luna standing still and letting them pet her. So sweet.
It’s going to get a little colder again now, but hopefully more good spring days ahead.
Now I’m going to go like the cuckoo soup bird and go cuckoosoup cuckoosoup0.
10/3 2025
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Relaxing goats.
It’s too bad Sky sits alone. But then she always did like to just sit and roast in the sun, even when she was the top goat. She likes to just zone out in the shine.
10/3 2025
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Gotta feed the beasts.
Looking forward to leaving the coat at home. Any day now, surely.
It’s good to feel the tightness of the stomach and seeing the pants being too big, again. Still not back to peak low weight, but I’m at a good place now.
103 2025
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Luna under a, partially, blue sky.
10/3 2025
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All The Pain We Cannot See
10/3 2025
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But also, Lunapuppy.
10/3 2025
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Got an hour fortyfive on the bike today. Wasn’t really feeling it, but I put in the time. Depression is running in and out of my head like… a guy with diarrhea gping to the bathroom.
Sorry. That was uncalled for .
Anyway. Got some crunches and did some cleaning too. Unspooling ancient cables. I have three old desktop PCs standing around, I really need to get rid of them at some point too. I wonder if they would even turn on anymore, the newest one is 5+ years old, the others I don’t even wanna know.
Other than that, just trying to slither along. Darting through the tall grass.
11/3 2025
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Bella found a new favourite place to scratch her belly on.
I had kept wondering who was moving the tree stump, I place it lodged up against the log to help secure the playset. But I kept finding it moved a bit away from the log. I was wondering what happened to it. Now i’ve caught it a couple of times. There’s a couple of bits protruding from the stump, and they’re just the right heaight for a good belly scratch. She’ll stand there for 5 minutes rocking back and forth on it.
11/3 2025
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goatlog
12/3 2025
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So far my day has consisted mostly of listening to David Bowie, reading wikipedia articles about David Bowie albums, and editing goat footage.
In many ways, a typical rockstar day.
12/3 2025
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I don’t usually do this but,
my birthday is coming up on Saturday. Of course I expect and want nothing, do not give mea nything.
But, if you should want to do something for me, consider donating to Kimberly’s gofundme. Five bucks, ten bucks, whatever. I would consider that a personal present to me, if you do donate leave a comment here so I know to thank you.
And if you don’t donate that’s fine too. No expectations.
Kimberly’s been a friend here for many yers, she’s one of the good goat people who does a lot for her animals .
https://www.gofundme.com/f/give-kimberly-and-her-rescues-a-fresh-start
12/3 2025
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Bella and Luna are on bluesky.
Well, there’s a blue sky anyway.
13/3 2025
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I was setting up the camera to film a little of me sitting with Sky.
Luna had other ideas.
You can see Luna wasn’t even going after Sky, but Sky was like “nope” and off.
13/3 2025
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Luna swears she didn’t knock the camera out of my hand. I guess I’ll have to take her bleat for it.
14/3 2025
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I remember downloading Alanis Morrissette’s cover of Fake Plastic Trees on Napster. Being asked if I was Billy Corgan because I was sharing about a million Smashing Pumpkins liveshows. Two Italian dudes arguing on Netphoria. Staying up till midnight to download from NSPAA, and seeing it go down 5 minutes later when all the bandwidth for the night was used up. Christmas at the grandparents, getting New Adventures In Hi-Fi. Strange and unfamiliar but cool music on the US Top 20, broadcast once a week on MTV Europe. Winning not once but twice a signed copy of Jennifer Paige’s debut album. I wonder if she signed them herself or if they just stamped her signatue on a billion copies to give out in various competitions around the world. What are the odds of winning a signed copy of the same album in two different competitions, I have never in my life won another signed copy of any CD. I still have Dave Asselin’s old MCIS shirt.
Anyway, I’ll end this musical trip down memory lane. I just intended to say that Street Spirit still wrecks me. Don’t know how we got to here from there. Immerce your soul in love.
14/3 2025
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Oh hi. Hello ther. It’s March 15th today. You know what that means. The Ides of March. One of these days I should look that up and find out what it actually means.
But I hope it’s a happy day. Take it sneezy!
Oh by the way, I dreamt that Dolly Parton laid goat berries. I swear on my life. Now analyze that.
15/3 2025
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Just because it’s my special day, doen’t mean I get to slack off. Got on the bike and did an hour fifty. Tired legs, but good going.
Also did some more cleaning. More stuff to drag down to the trash. And I even did a little floor washing. For the first time in.. honestly, years. My floor is really gross and it’s going to take more sessions to get it halfway presentable. But I’m trying. The thing about going blind is, it gets real easy to overlook the dirt. And as the world falls down around you it gets really easy not to care. But I’m trying.
Now I’m going to party like it’s 1999 and all we have to worry about is the Y2K bug coming to eat us all.
And by that I mean I’m going to have soup. That’s how I’m going to celebrate my birthday. My parents did offer to take me out for dinner or to get together for cake and cocoa. But going out to eat is just too triggering for my anxiety. And cake would get in the way of my attempts to ramp up the diet. The weight is going all and I just really want to push that right now.
I’m not one for celebrations anyway. A birthday is just another year older and deeper in, whatever this is. I really don’t care about it.
But I do care about all the nice birthday wishes from you all, they make me feel like people know I exist and maybe even are glad that I do. And that matters to me. So thank you for that.
And to whoever unfriended me today, thank you helping me lighten my load! I guess the fb birthday reminder reminded you that “ugh this guy is still around” haha.
15/3 2025
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Heading off to the bed place and the dreamspace. Thank you everyone for making my birthday lovely. It really means a lot to me that there are people who care about me, even if I have a hard time caring about myself. I appreciate you. I hope I managed to replty to everyone, it can be hard with the cruddy algorithm.
And now that I’m 21, what’s a guy gotta do to get a drink around here?!
See you in the return postage.
16/3 2025
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It’s a new day, it’s a new dawn, it’s the first day in the rest of your life. Assuming the world doesn’t stop rotating, it’s time for another trip around the sun. Or the moon. Or the stars. Look, i’m not a astronomologist, don’t ask me.
Thank you again for all the birthday wishes yesterday. Love you alls.
And special thanks to the people who donated to the gofundme I posted a couple of days ago. Appreciate it a ton!
16/3 2025
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Now that all the birthday malarkey is over, let’s get back to goatposting. Here’s the SunSky.
´
16/3 2025
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Well here’s something mildly interesting.
Yesterday, when I was doing a bit of my leaning after the exercise, I discovered an old camera. Tucked away under some of the piles of hoarded debris.
A pretty old one, but not a bad one. Must be from the time when I was experimenting with different cameras, trying to find which one to be my permanent goat camera. This one didn’t make the cut and I guess I left it and forgot about it.
I figure I’ll give it away or something. But there was a memory card in it. I thought it would be blank, but I thught if I’m going to give the camera away I better make sure there were no compromising pictures on it. Just because there was no Onlyfans back then doesn’t mean, well nevermind. Anyway. I put the memory card into my current camera and found there was a small selection of pictures from 2013! How about that. Several of them from January 1st 2013, and a couple from September ’13. At least according to the exif data.
So here is a picture of my father and I from September 2013. It’s not a great picture, we don’t look especially thrilled to be photographed. But it’s still sort of sweet on my birthday to find a 12 year old picture of me and pops. You can tell it’s old because I got no shades on and my dead is closed on display.
A lifetime ago.
16/3 2025
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Still watching old episodes of snl. Today watching the George Foreman episodes from season 20. So far it’s… not good. Haha. But the thing of note is that Hole is the musical guest and they’re playing Doll Parts. When I went to the doc on Thursday I was chanting in my head over and over “someday you will ache like I ache”. Not that I was wishing hurt on the other people on the bus or anything, it was just like a mantra to calm my nerves. Going out among people is still a challenge. Focusing on a mantra, or whatever, keeps some of the anxiety at bay.
Funny coincidence that it would come up on my snl rewarch now.
16/3 2025
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Here are the other notable photos from my birthday surprise. i wonder if I have any other old cameras buried somewhere?!
The date on these says 1/1 2013, but I am not sure I believe that. I would not usually be at my parents place on January first. But I don’t know, I honestly don’t remember.
The top left is my brother Peter at the computer in my parents place. Top right is Peter and dad doing the dishes. And the two on the bottom are my dad. A glimpse of time, like dinosaurs caught in the amber. *Jurassic Park theme*
16/3 2025
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That’s all for now.