Saw
Good goat times today. Cold morning. Down around 7C/44F. But it was a lovely day with lots of sunshine, so it did warm up as the sun shone on.
It’s good to be back to a solid goat routine. The goats seem to be doing well. They could use to lose some weight, but couldn’t we all.
Lots of kids taking advantage of fall break to come spend time at the playground. Bunch of them in the goat pen too. I heard one adult call Luna “the killer-goat”. Haha. Yeah. She’s not the best petting goat unfortunately. She will swing her head at them to get them to keep distance. I should probably bring the water bottle again and see if I can train her a little. Bella and Sky are much better at it. Bella will walk away if the kids get too annying. And Sky, she’s just the sweetest little petting goat.
i think everyone had a good time, and no one got murdered by Luna. Can’t complain.
And now it is the time of the soup.
13/10 2025
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The sun is starting to break through as Bella finishes breakfast.
13/10 2025
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Jeanette brought hedge trimmings! Yum yum. The goats know there’s something good in store when she back her car with the trailer up to the pen. Leafy good taste.
13/10 2025
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Snoozing under a blue sky. At one point Sky was sitting in the shade under the ramp on the left. At this point she had gone to work on the hedge trimmings while the big girls were zonking in the sun.
13/10 225
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Guess what I got today?
I got an hour on the bike, that’s what I got.
Yes. I got back to exercising. For the first time in a month and a half. Whoops. And only for the second time in the last two months.
Yeah, I really let things slide. But in my defense, first my mouth exploded and then my house exploded. With the dental and the rehoming issues, i just haven’t.. wanted to.
I still kind of don’t. But on the other hand, I needed to stop the unhealthy spiral. And also, it does feel good to have that physical exertion. Once you’re going it feels good to burn.
Not a super effort today, I can definitely feel that I have lost some muscle strength and lung capacity. But it’s just about taking the first step. The next steps will become easier.
I have this habit of only weighing myself after exercising. So I was a little worried what the scales would say after so long. I knew I had put on weight, I definitely feel and see that. I was surprised that I had only put on about 4 pounds. Okay, to that you have to add another about 4 pounds I had put on the last time I exercised. So. 8ish pounds. That’s not great. But I thought it would be worse. And considering how much weight I had lost before that, it’s not really a disaster. Especially because, and I’m sorry to sound cocky and I hope it won’t backfire later, but I feel like I know how to lose weight. And I know I can do it and I know how to do it. If I survive the big move then I feel fairly confident I can lose those 8 pounds again. Right now it’s about not gaining more and not completely falling into horrible habits.
I do still want to spoil myself too. Because my mental state most of the time is swinging between ‘depressed’ and ‘complete panic’. But with added exercise and a couple of semi-fasting days a week, I think I can still have room to spoil myself.
And January seems like it would be a good month to crank it up and work on losing weight again. After the holidays.
That’s the plan, Steen.
14/10 2025
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Didn’t just exercise today. Also cleared some stuff off my Moving list.
A couple of minor things, but also one that I have been worrying about. The thing about what date my actual move is supposed to be registered on. I emailed the housing association, and they replied that i should register my moving date as the day when I get the keys to the new apartment. Not November 1st, not December 1st, no the day when I get my bed moved there and start to stay there. But the day I have access to the apartment. So that makes a bit of sense i guess, I’m just glad to have an answer so I don’t have to worry so much about that.
Progress, I suppose.
Now I am really tired. I have been fasting all day and exercised for the first time in a month and a half. I’m pretty berried.
Time to get something to eat.
14/10 2025
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Please feel free to imagine the berryfall video that I tried to post.
I don’t know if it’s the whole “all videos are reels now” shttery, but I don’t seem to be able to post a video now. With my luck both attempts will probably appear by the time i’ve gone to bed..
Reels are cancer, a symptom of the decline of society. Some day all funerals will just be on TikTok and the algorithm will decide if you get to live or you have to Logan’s Run to avoid becoming Soylent.
Grumble grumble.
14/10 2025
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Here’s Sky with the hedge trimmings yesterday. I wish i could find a mountain of pizza igger than I am.
14/10 2025
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goatlog
15/10 2025
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Today is October 15th. Can you believe it?
Other than the relentles passing of time and the dwindling sand rushing through the hourglass never to be reclaimed, it is also significant because today would have been the day when I would have had the 1st apartment I was offered. Now, I would still ahve had to wait 2 more weeks before the keys because they have that 2 week period of fixing the place up. But still. If i had taken that first offer, things would have gotten super real today.
I sure am i glad I got the 2nd offer, and took it. Because I liked that apartment better, because it’s right next door. And because I’m lad i have those couple of weeks extra. It still feels too real. But at least it’s not right now. It will be. But it isn’t yet.
The river of time. Just trying to go with the flow. And not drown.
15/10 2025
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sillyettes
15/10 2025
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Good goat times today. A pretty quiet day. The ground was wet, must have been raining overnight. It was dry when i was out, though. And the sun came through too. Still a bit chilly.
No visitors from the neighbouring school today, probably because of fall vacation. There were a couple of kids visiting, but only for a minute. The goats weren’t super active either. Mostly just relaxing. Taking my mind off the world outside. Inside the goat pen is where I feel best.
But now I’m home and will have soup, and that’s not too bad.
16/10 2025
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The hedge trimmings were all wet and on the ground, so I scooped up as much as I could and put it on the pile of branches. Here the goat three are getting onto it.
16/10 2025
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Bella found a good spot to stand. Kind of funny, I don’t remember any of them standing there like that, she was just standing there for quite a while. There’s a bit of space behind the goat house there and sometimes they’ll go back there to try and find some untouched greens. But not just standing there. It’s a good spot to look out at the pen though. And I think it was those wooden boards that kept her there. The grass was very wet from rain, and you know goats love to stand on stuff and hate getting their feetsies wet.
Also you can see Sky standing in the door of the goat house. Probably happy to have a fence between her and Bella.
16/10 2025
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Got a couple of items on my List for the upcoming move checked off.
Posted on reddit asking for recommendations for a cleaning company to clean my apartment. So I’ll have to see if I get any responses to that.
Sent an email to the internet provider that I would like to use in my new apartment. Did I write about that? Can’t remember. I’m thinking of using another provider at the new place. I think that would make it all easier. Just needed some questions answere. So I’ll have to wait for replies to that.
Added Helle’s phonenumber to my contact list. Hey, it’s a small item, but I got it checked off!
And I talked to Helle today, on messenger and on te phone. She’s so helpful. She is making this all a lot less daunting. She is part of the whole housing association and local community, it’s so nice to be able to draw on that. She’s going to see if we can ge a reply back confirming that they’re not going to try to rent out my apartment and that I just need to do the basic cleaning. And to get confirmation that we can use the ‘social movers’ for my move.
I actually got an email (after a missed phonecall) from a moving company today. The one that the housing assoc uses I guess. They want to start arrange things. They want to come and look at my place and give me moving boxes on Monday the 27th. And the move itself they gave two available dates. November 19th or November 26. The 26th seems way too late. The 19th would be okay. That’s Wednesday. I originally had thought I wanted Monday, but have been thinking that Tuesday might be better to give myself a little more time to move the small stuff myself and get stuff sorted. Wednesday would be fine.
But again, if things work out with Helle’s movers then I’m not going to move this moving company. So I wrote back asking if it would be okay to confirm (or deny) their dates until next week. I should find out next week if we can proceed with Helle’s suggestion.
So we’ll see. Ugh man, it starts to feel so real when you get dates and you have to agree on things and confirm things and do things that can’t be taken back. Like, i’m going to have to cancel my current internet subscription. But once I’ve done that THEN I HAVE TO MOVE. I know I have to move. But you never know, that option of barricading myself in the bathroom might still be viable… or not.
Anyway. Oh also Helle has a, I think she called it ‘city wagon’, I can borrow for the move. I think it’s basically a shopping kart from the supermarket next doo that closed a few years ago. That would be perfect for karting my stuff bit by bit to the new apartment. I would really like not having to pack all my belongings in boxes and having strangers handle them. Just slowly freighting them over by myself and setting it up as I want in the new place, that would be good.
.. Oh and while I wrote this post, I got a reply back from the internet provider. Looks like that’s all good and should work out. And I got them to waive the creation fee. Not that it’s a lot. But still. Hopefully I can get that worked out so I’ll have my current internet subscription here for all of November and then get the new subscription up and running at the new place so I have it ready to go pretty much right away when I move in. That would be nice, if there were no complications there. Because it’s pretty important to have the internets. You all probably have your wifies and are automatically only wherever you go. I have to have a cabled connection to my PC.
Alright. Got some stuff done today, the list is shrinking. Not too much left to deal with, I just hope the important stuff works out. and that I don’t accidentally trip and fall into the well. Hey goats get help, Timmy’s stuck in the well!
17/10 2025
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Here’s Bella. Oh and Luna says here’s Luna too.
17/10 2025
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Got an hour on the bike today.
Almost didn’t get to it. Things didn’t go according to plan.
I had planeed to get up early and do my exercising and be all productive and BetterMan.
Instead I ended up sleeping for 12 hours. I was feeling depressed. I think th Moving List stuff from yesterday got to me. It all still worries me a lot. And then I had such lovely dreams. You know I love to dream. So when I woke up in the morning, instead of getting up and exercising I… rolled over and waited to fall asleep again to dream some more.
And I do love my dreams. They are all faded by now, the only thing I really remember are Xena and Gabriella appearing in some kind of fantasy epic movie that I was in but it wasn’t just a movie it was also reality and it was awesome. Anyway, they were pretty funny.
So that wasn’t what I had wanted to happen, but at least once I got up I managed to drag myself to the bike. I didn’t really want to, but I forced myself to get going. And that’s good. Right now it’s about getting back to the routine. After not exercising for so long, now I just have to train myself to do it again. Even if it’s a mediocre effort. My lung and muscle capacity will get better again after a while, it’s just important to do SOMETHING. And i did. So that’s good
And now i’m going to make me some soup. So that’s good.
18/10 2025
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I do miss walking this way to the old place. The old playgrounds both had their ups and downs, and so many memories connected to them. Sometimse I wish I could magically blend all three playgrounds and take the best parts of each and make a superplayground.
Of course, at the end of the day it’s the goats there that matter most.
18/10 2025
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Whatever you think about kings in general and whether they should exist or not, we can all agree that King Ralph was a masterpiece
18/10 2025
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On this day. In one month. I will probably be in my new apartment.
I mean, not moved in. But casually hanging out with my imaginary friends, whom rudely refuse to help me move stuff. Being noncorporeal is not a valid excuse, guys!
But yes, I should be in the midst of moving things over. The keys in my possession.
Depending on how it all goes.
The information says they have two weeks (at the most) to fix up the place. So theoretically they could be done faster than two weeks and I could get the keys earlier. I wouldn’t mind that, the more time to set up the place before I move in, the better.
But I’m going to be relieved when this is all done. It’s been a wild couple of months. I am so used to living in my own bubble. Avoiding reality. I have had to spend an awful lot of time in the real world lately. I don’t find it very appealing. I’ll be happy when the world narrows in and I can settle into my bubble, even if it will look a bit different. Higher up in the clouds. With a view.
Anyway, enough prattling. I’ll leave you with a video of some exquisit acting. Thank you all for helping me navigate this weird place
18/10 2025
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goatlog
19/10 2025
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Feeling nauseated and heart pounding. I am a little overhelmed with it all now, now that it’s getting closer. Worried about the timing of everything. Inspection of the old place, inspection of the new place, the moving companies we’re juggling, the electrian for the lamps, the internet and tv companies. It feels like a jiggsaw puzzle and my anxiety is terrified that I’m going to stand on the last day and realise that the pieces aren’t fitting together. I simultaneously wish it was just over and also that it will not happen. For time to speed up and slow down, at the same time. Maybe I should practice my contortionist act.
Trying to deal with some of the stuff on my List today, and I just want to .. not. Avoidance Speed Factor 12 straight ahead.
Alright. Step by step, one day a day, bit bit bit. Remember to keep breathing, at least once in a while.
19/10 2025
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Another week almost over. Got a few things on the List done today. But stuff that requires replies, still lots of berries in the air. I am not feeling good right now. Really feeling the stress and anxiety.
Doesn’t help that I slept too much the night before last and too little last night. My head hurts. i am very tired, mentally and physically.
But thanks everyone for the encouraging words. I don’t know what I’d do if I was alone with all of this.
Let’s see what next week brings. There are some pieces of the puzle that need to start falling into place now.
[addendumb]
Well, before I was able to post this, I had to run to the bathroom for a major vomit fest. Pretty bad. I feel like it was more severe than a “I’m feeling worried and it’s making me feel sick” feeling, like I’ve had most of the day. This felt more like I ate something bad. But who knows. I’ll have to see how I feel in the morning. I hope I’m not getting sick now. Although better now than in a month I suppose.
Alright. Hope you’re all doing well. I need to see a man about a berry.
19/10 2025
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That’s all for now.
