Never Nothing
Good goat times today. Finally, back where I belong. I can’t remember the last time I went more than a week without goating. Crazy.
So good to see the girls again. Thankfully they hadn’t forgotten about me. Or the treats. And good to see Jeanette again and have a little chat about everything, she worries about me too of course.
And it went fine physically today. I was a little worried if I was ready to go. But it was fairly fine. With painkillers. And I didn’t get mauled by the goats. I was a little concerned they’s be crashing into my ribs and chest. But thankfully they didn’t. It was raining a lot of the time today, so that put a natural damper on things.
Jeanette had closed the hatch in the goat house so Sky could set in the spot under the half roof and keep dry, without being chased off. Wish we could find a little dog(goat) house for her. That red playhouse at the old place would fit her perfectly.
Jeanette dropped off a trailer-load of greens from her estate. The goats enjoyed those. Enough to go out in the rain for a bit to get them. I dragged some of them up in the goat house so they could munch inside.
Later on the rain did die down, so I could spend some time outside with them all. A cool 14C/57F. Quite a change from the heatwave a week or so ago.
Just a quiet little day, as I try to get back to a better mental and physical state. Better with goats.
6/7 2026
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Morning goats. Sky got her spot under the roof, so at least she can keep dry.
6/7 2026
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So good to be back with my SkyGirl.
6/7 2026
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Funny thing: I only had one table spoon.
I say “had” because I manage to throw it out while taking down teh trash today.
So here was me cooking up a pot of soup, realising I did not have any table spoons.
Sheesh.
I ended up eating oup out of the pot with.. a measuring cup? What’s it called? A small one, I guess it’s a 1 ml? dl? I forget the terms.
Anyway, that was dumb. Now I’m ordering new spoons.
Life is strange.
6/7 2026
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Missed my Luna smooches.
6/7 2026
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Great. A new thing to worry about.
I got a notice from the housing association saying that on August 3rd they will be shutting down the parking area outside my building. Until.. 2028. So, basically forever.
I knew something would happen with the parking space, because they are starting renovations on the neighbouring building. That’s why I had to be relocated and moved out of the building.
I didn’t think they would shut down the entire parking area. I thought they would make some kind of access ramp or something, something so people could still park outside our huilding.
But now I am scared. What is that going to mean to my grocery deliveries? If the delivery people can’t park right outside the building, are they going to still deliver to me?
The notice said that renters are directed to park in other parking areas in the neighbourhood. But can delivery people do that? They would have to drag the deliveries from different parking areas to my building, and as far as I can tell there would be no access to my building that doesn’t involve going up and down stairs outside.
It would have a severe negative impact on my life if I couldn’t get grocery deliveries anymore. It changed my life for the better when I started getting them delivered. Instead of lugging all those heavy Pepsi bottles…
And what about mail? If the postman and package delivery companies can’t park outside our building, are they still going to deliver to us?
And also, my parents. They have severe mobility issues. Often when they come here they take a taxi straight to the front door. They won’t be able to do that anymore. I don’t even know if my mom and dad can make it up and down the stairs outside, I don’t think there would be any path to walk around anymore.
Since they’re shutting down the parking area, that also means no more trash cans outside here. We sort the garbage into different sets. Food, glass, metal, paper etc. Spoons. *shakes head*.
So I’ll have to lug my trash to the contraineers in front of other buildings. That won’t be too bad, I can deal with that. But not being able to get deliveries would be disastrous, and it would be a lot harder for my parents to get here.
So yeah. This really sucks. I guess I can’t do anything but wait and see how bad it will get. It’s not like I can do anything about it. Maybe it would have been better if I had taken the other apartment I had offered to me. That was also on the top floor, which would probably have meant less noise than I’m experiencing now. Further away from the construction sites too. But okay. Hindsight is… better than blindness.
Ugh. This is feeding my depression and anxiety. There is always something. Never nothing.
7/7 2026
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Got an hour twenty on the bike today. Back to exercising for the first time since the blackout after last one, a week and a half ago.
So I had some trepidation going back. But it went fine. No blackouts at least. Physically I am definitely at a deficit. Muscles felt pretty strong. But with the pain iny my ribcage and just general body ache, it was not a lot of fun. Had to be careful doing the bendy rod exercises. And swinging my arms around during some of the intervals.
It was tough after a week and a half of basically sitting still and eating junk. But the important part is getting back into the rhythm, I can get more intense later. Just have to do SOMETHING.
And I’ll see what the new rhythm becomes. I am not sure I want to go back to 4 exercise days. With two hour sessions and then all the stretching and showering and everything around it. It’s just a lot of time and energy to spend on it. I will probably slow down a bit. And I can’t do the licorice diet any more. So I just have to find a new way of doing things. I’ll be chunkier, but hopefully I can make it work.
Good to get back on the bike after all. And I got confirmation of something I had suspected. I had moved the bike when I was in my blackout trance. Don’t ask me why. It’s a fairly heavy bike and I have vibration cup things under it, so it doesn’t just slide around. It takes some thought and effort to move it. It’s not a mindless task. It’s so weird to think that I do stuff like that in a trance. It makes me wonder what else I might do in that state. And how did I hurt my ribcage and chest. Was it a fall or pushing against something? Maybe I pushed agains the bike to move it and that’s what did it? I don’t know. I’m worried about doing crazy in that state.
But, I think I have been sleeping better since I stopped the licorice. And I have a suspicion maybe the blackouts are connected to sleep. So maybe I won’t have any more blackouts now tra la la. Let’s hope.
I’ll focus on getting back to a proper rhythm of goating and exercising. I need those things. And then I’ll see what else happens.
Ugh my body aches and it’s hard to take deep breaths. Just takes time now.
8/7 2026
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I was looking up When The Wind Blows on wikipedia and I see that it was directed by a Jimmy Murakami. So now I know three Murakamis. A writer, a director and a totally awesome berryfabulator.
But that’s not important right now.
8/7 2026
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Alright, let’s end the day with some goat content. Triple goat score multiplier.
8/7 2026
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Good goat time today. Getting back into the swing of things. And back to summer. After a couple of stormy days with rain, the sun came back today. Not quite heatwave territory, but getting up around 28C/82F and that’s hot for Denmark.
So lots of sitting around and relaxing in the sun with the girls. Good stuff. My body is still quite pained. With painkillers it’s not too bad, but I’m still moving slowly and trying to take care.
Got some sweet lapgoat time with Luna. She’s gotten too big for that really, but if I keep her at an angle she still fits. Mostly. And I got some fun exercise with Sky. Got her worked up and sprinting around again. I’m glad she’s still got some moves, in her old age. Makes me laugh when she gets worked up. But it makes me a little sad too, because it reminds me of her running around with Milo. I know it wasn’t up to me, but I still feel guilty about sending him away. I hope he is doing okay in his new home, still.
But a lovely time in the sun with the goats. Can’t ask for much better than that.
I stopped by the local grocery store afterwards, to see if they had some good B & J flavors. I did buy a couple, but it still boggles my mind that there are so few BJ flavours in Denmark. They had Half Baked and Chocolate Fudge Brownie. And that’s it. Same thing when I look online. I’m jealous of you Americans who can apparently get all the B and Jays you like.
But I shall enjoy some iced cream tonight, after the soup that I will cook up now. Isn’t that what all people do on hot summer days? Eat hot soup and then cool down with a B & J? I imagine so.
Trying not to worry too much about the things I worry too much about. Taking it easy, keeping it breezy.
9/7 2026
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Lots and lots of sunshine today, but some clouds too. I think Sky may be wondering if she can take a bite.
9/7 2026
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Between two goats.
9/7 2026
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Who is that human gnome, and is he related to the three corinthians?
9/7 2026
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Luna is the best hugger. I love how when I put my arm on her she’ll step into it so I can give her a real bear hug. I mean, goat hug. So different from Bella, if I put my arm around her she will step away. She can be affectionate, but she doesn’t want to be constricted or held tight. But Luna is a huggy goat.
9/7 2026
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For the premium subscribers, bleats’n’berries by sky.
10/7 2026
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Seriously, shouldn’t Bee And Jays make a Bleatenberry flavour? Obviously the goat berries would be chocolate, or licorice. Maybe it could be made of goat milk? Is that a common thing? But surely goatmilk iced cream with chocolate berry nuggets, it would be a great hit in the goat cumminty. There are tens of us!
My apartment is toasting now. I am drowsy in heat. Sorry, drowsy in THE heat. Word matters.
Had a delivery of pepsi and banana today. It was late. When you pay for delivery in a certain time period, you want it to come in that period. But okay, being that I am now worried about the future of my deliveries, I won’t make a stink about half an hour.
They delivery other things than groceries. For example, spoons. As I mentioned I accidentally threw out my only table spoon recently. So the last two times I have had soup I have had to eat it awkwardly with a little measuring cup to spoon up the soup.
Well, today I got 4 new spoons. Unfortunately they weren’t very good spoons. They were sort of longer than they were deeper. The head part. You know? That doesn’t make for good soup eating. Thankfully my mother was kind enough to give me one of their table spoons. My parents have good table spoons, with heads that are more round than long. Good for soup. So now I have a good spoon for soup, and four replacement ones in case of an emergency.
That’s the news in spoons.
Man, it’s getting hot in herre. I hope my computer doesn’t combust. It hasn’t done a spontaneous shutdown since the last time I had the problems, but I’m worried about how hot it’s getting now. I really need a new one. And instead I’m spending a ton of money on junk food, because I am smart and I don’t self-sabotage. Hooraay.
MY chest and ribs are starting to improve, although still not great. To shreds you say? Oh my.
10/7 2026
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I have been listening a lot to Corook the last couple of weeks. A lot. They are queer and non-binary and I kind of enjoy how angry right-wingers would be at their very existance.
But it’s a funny mix of sort of novelty geek humor and deeply personal emotional pain. Corook is a … bigboned them. There are a lot of their lyrics about weight and self-identity and insecurity and pain that I can deeply, deeply, DEEPLY relate to. There are things about me that.. well, I don’t know how apparent they are. Because they are deeply complicated and painful to myself.
So, ITT: a few of my favourite songs. I would highly recommend you check out Corook. Even if you don’t care about the deper meanings, they have some plain old good songs.
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If I could find the younger me I’d hug her and I’d hold her. Say, “You have everything you need”, I’m okay getting older.
10/7 2026
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It’s very hot again. Sweaty, sticky, making bad decision. Maybe I should move to Greenland to cool down. I’m pretty sure nothing could go wrong there.
By the way, my condolences to the US soccerball team. They got beaten pretty badly. I am sure FIFA will present them with an honorary peace prize or something, though. Just make the call!
Okay, I’ll shut up. I am still proud that the Danish team valiantly completely failed to qualfy in the most spectacular way. To send a message to the world. That’s right. We’re standing up to the big bad America by even refusing to try to be good enough to participate in teh SHAM tournament.
And I’m definitely not going to be jealous if Norway wins the whole thing. Fkn Haaland, I bet he grew up on goat’s milk.
Ok ok, shutting up I was.
Time keeps on slipping, I don’t know where the road is heading. I am feeling sweaty and gross and sad today, but who knows what tomorrow will bring. Hope you’re all doing alright out there. Be the watering can in the drought, the boat in the flood, the metaphor in the last sentence of the post.
11/7 2026
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On the bright side, I have 5 table spoons now. I am pretty sure that is the most table spoons I have had in my adult life. Movin’ on up!
11/7 2026
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Goodnight, and to everyone who’s not doing well, I hope we’re doing better tomorrow.
11/7 2026
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goatlog
12/7 2026
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I have been singing the chorus to I’m Not Doing Well over and over in my head. Why? Well. Because. I’m not doing well I’m not doing well I’m not doing well.
Struggling a bit. Continuing to make bad decisions, despite being aware they are bad and aware of what better decisions would be.
Icky sticky sweaty, ballooning up. Depressive sad thoughts. I am tired, I just want to be in bed. I am not hungry, I just want to eat.
The darkness is just a trick of the light.
I don’t want to be here. Maybe I will take a couple of steps to the right and see if I want to be there.
Anyway, it’s fine. You know. One day a day. Tomorrow’s another.
12/7 2026
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Think goat thoughts. Sorry bout all the whining. It’s been a tough time. But tomorrow’s another week and we’ll do our best to make it best. Be bester. Bet on me, Buttercup.
12/7 2026
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That’s all for now.