I am Plume’s tingling fingers.

Right now, my computer is working like it should. I would give my right arm for it to continue this way. Or maybe just one of my fingers. A toe, perhaps. Hmm, maybe I should start selling body parts. I did plan on leaving my body for science, but screw science. When’s the last time you’ve seen a good, mad scientist? If we have learnt anything from fiction then it is that scientists should be mad and deranged. I am still waiting on that to happen.

So anyway. My computer is working. My vacation is running out. I came back from the playground all muddy and smelling like poo. So you know it’s been a good day. Tomorrow I will be feeding the animals. And Per told me they have a little kitten at the moment, so I’m hoping I’ll get to play with it. Kittens are great. Yesterday I met my new feline friend too. At the same spot that I have met him before. He is a real friendly kitty. I just want to take him home and love him.

While I prepare for topics anewed I will just do another copy/paste job of livejournal rants and raves and unfinished scribbles. Just to have it collected on my own site. If you’re an lj friend then you can skip the rest of this entry. If you’re not an lj friend then you can skip it too. You can also build castles in the sand or draw pictures of children playing with water balloons. Or you can go play with water balloons yourself. Live live, for goodness sake.

[28 Jul 2006|07:24pm]
Is it possible to drown in oxygen? Sometimes I feel a little like I’m in one of those dreams where you can only walk very slowly, as if you were walking through water. Swimming is like flying. At least I think so. I haven’t been swimming for 15 years or more. I wouldn’t mind swimming but it would have to be nightswimming. It rained yesterday. Unfortunately it wasn’t cold. It was just very hot and humid and outside the cascading raindrops on the rooftop made music sweetly in my ears.
Outside the sun is setting and everything looks golden. It’s almost as pretty as a computer game. I often wish life had a save/load function. So I could try things out and if they went wrong then I’d just load an old savelife and do it over. That way you could make all the mistakes in the world without consequences. You could talk to people without the fear of explosions and brimfire. You could walk the streets without being scared of earthquakes and zombies and polar bears escaped from the zoo. And don’t get me started on the lottery.
I also often wish that I was invisble. So I could spy on life. Someone’s listening in. Sometimes I get paranoid that other people can hear my thoughts. Or that other people can turn invisible. What if this room is full of invisible people? What if they are reading over my shoulder? Maybe they are giggling silenty because I’m so close to the truth, but they don’t think that I am actually serious about this so they don’t think there is any risk that I might discover them.
Sometimes I wish that I had a little personal rain cloud following me around, raining on me always. So even in summer I would be cool and wet. And in winter I would have beautiful ice crystals raining down around me and people would point and gasp because they only thought little rain clouds would follow people around in cartoons. Maybe they would think that I sprung out of a cartoon. Kinda like that old Aha music video. Take on me. I often wish that I could jump into cartoons or movies or computer games. Not just because of the save/load thing. Also because it’s easier to worry about aliens shooting laserbeams at you than worrýing little thoughts in your brain, thoughts you just can’t ignore, can’t hide away from. Fears that make you afraid, but not afraid like if a polar bear was roaring at you. I often wonder if polar bears are okay in the summer, in zoos I mean. It must suck to be in a zoo. Being locked in a place where people where always looking at you and paying attention to you, that pretty much is my idea of hell. I wonder if I will go to hell when I die. I have sinned. But I try to be good. I don’t shoot people with laserbeams and if I was invisible then I’d use it mostly for good and only sometimes for personal gain. I would make a good superhero. But then who wouldn’t make a good superhero? Per definition a superhero is good. If you were a bad superhero then you weren’t really a superhero, were you? You’d be a super villain instead. Which might be funnier at first, but I think it would get kinda boring to have to try to take over the world every week when you know that the superhero will always stop you. I often wish there was a comic book where the superhero failed in the end, and I mean the very end. I don’t mean they fail and then some time passes and then everything turns out okay. I mean the world ending in ragnarok and fire and pain and death. But only in the comic book of course. In the real world I don’t want that to happen. In the real world I want peace and bunnies and I want bad people to stand in the corner and think about what they have done, REALLY think about it. Maybe then they’d realize that being bad isn’t good. Maybe bad people are from an alternative universe where everything is bad. Maybe they are from hell and sent to infiltrate our world, our world being heaven then. Maybe we are all angels. Maybe the wings are just a myth. Maybe angels have to walk like everyone else. maybe they have to buy a ticket if they want to fly. Maybe when we fly we get closer to god. Maybe every time a plane leaves god is blowing wind underneath its wings so it will not fall. But then sometimes they do fall. And where do good people go when they die if this is already heaven? How many earths would you need to have room for all the people who have died through the years? Maybe there is an earth for every century, or an earth for every plane crash, for every bomb, for every mass suicide. Maybe angels don’t believe in god anymore and that’s why there is so much suffering.
I wonder what it would sound like if all the angels were singing at the same time. I would like to think that music is the language of the angels and guitars are their weapons. A knight in shining xylophone. A queen balancing on drumsticks.
Music softens the blow. I would like´to hhave earplugs that blocked out evertryhing but the music. And when you cried I would hear it as a song, and I would sing along. I know it by heart.
Water scares ´me. You have not cried enough to make the river run dry.

[25 Jul 2006|01:55am]
Der er så fuld af skov, inde i en skov.

I hate Microsoft. I was going to explain why that is, but then I remembered that everyone hates Microsoft, so what’s the point? Product activation my ass.

My parents are back from Russia.
I’m considering going to Russia.

Wow, I love walking in the woods at midnight in Oblivion.

[23 Jul 2006|11:45pm]
Do you know the feeling of being too pale to be goth?

[22 Jul 2006|10:05pm]
All these things I’m afraid of. I’m afraid of dying. I’m afraid of living. I’m afraid of spiders. I’m afraid of people. I’´m afraid of Americans. I’m afraid of Iraqis. I’m afraid of teenagers. I’m afraid of noises in the dark. I’m afraid of knocks on the door. I’m afraid of being alone. I’m afraid of not being loved. I’m afraid of being loved. I’m afraid of makign mistakes. I’m afraid of the sun. I’m afraid of their eyes. I’m afraid of the law. I am afraid of changing rooms. I’m afraid of cemetaries. I’m afraid of cameras. I’m afraid of the headlines. I’m afraid of the politicians. I’m afraid of the right wing. And the left wing. I’m afraid of the wings on aeroplanes. I’m afraid of copy protection. I’m afraid of mold. I’m afraid of dairy products that are past their expiration date. I’m afraid of wasps. I’m afraid of the frozen water. I’m afraid of opera singers.
But most of all I am afraid of you.

[21 Jul 2006|11:39pm]
You know what i don’t like? Movie trailers that end with the release date as if it was some cataclysmic event, as if it was something we were all waiting for with baited (sic) breath. I just saw the trailer for the new Turtles movie, and honestly I think I might be able to hold my breath even longer. Who knows, it might be great. But I can’t see any motivation for a new Turtles movie apart from making money. Remakes, bloody remakes and updates and sequels. Sometimes I have to pinch myself just to snap out of the illusion that I have gone into a time machine and am reliving the past.

You know what I also don’t like? When the hard drive of my new computer dies. Well, I’m not sure it’s dead. It’s working right now. But yesterday, after I had gotten the updatea about the book off my chest, the computer resetted itself and then wouldn’t boot at all, not recognising the hard drive and so I’m sure that it’s dying. And it makes me sad. So very sad.
But maybe it will be okay.

Maybe. It will.. be. Okay. Maybe. I’m sure it will. Cause bad things don’t happen to people like me. I am confident in my own happiness. I am okay. I maa okayerdfg

[21 Jul 2006|02:49am]
As I have mentioned I have recently taken up reading again. The funny thing about taking up reading again after a long break is that every book seems to be the greatest you have ever read. When you’re done with a book then you think “oh wow surely it can’t get better than this”. And then you start the next. Tonight I started the next and after 3-4 pages I thought “Oh wow surely it can’t get better than this”. Just those 3, or was it 4, pages left me breathless. Literally. Well, not quite literally. Then I’d be dead. Haha, comedy. But it was like someone punching me in the stomach. Repeatedly. Let’s say an average good book has 3 or 4 brilliant things per chapter. This book has 3 or 4 brilliant things per paragraph. Every sentence is like a little miracle.
It’s called Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. I have only just gotten started so I can’t guarantee that the whole book is great. But if you want the best 3-4 pages of your life then go get it. I’m sure it’s quite famous and I’m the guy who starts saying “all your base are belong to us” five years after everyone else is sick of it. But nun-d-less.
You know a book is great when it makes you want to both read and write. I had actually gone to bed but I had to go and boot up the computer to get this off my heart.
It’s 2:56 am and it’s goddamn hot. But at least if I can’t fall asleep then I have a good book to read.

[19 Jul 2006|06:52pm]
The Ugly Duckling

You picked on me
you pulled me apart
you threw me out from the rooftop
to see if I would fly

You laughed at me
you pushed me around
you held me under
to see if I would cry

Now you turn your back to me
look the other way
feign innocence
you never meant for me to die

–
s´pose there ought to be a happy ending. Maybe skip the rhymes? Maybe I should get a notebook instead of using my lj.

Note to sun: **** off.

[19 Jul 2006|11:46am]
Here is a helpful tip to everyone: If you ever get a call from Christopher Walken… HANG UP! It’s not him. There are a million Walken impersonators and if you think you’re talking to Christopher Walken then you will end up on some website and be the target of much ridicule. There. Now everyone should be safe.

I’m spending too much time on thatvideosite.com

My new sexy computer, which is sexier than youuw, has a thermometer built in. I can see how hot it is. And I don’t mean how sexy it is, because I already know its’ sexier than Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra rubbing against each other while wearing Baywatch swimsuits. I mean the temperature. So now that I’m sweating and it’s horrible hot I can look at my computer and say “oh my god it’s horribly hot” and I won’t be lying.

[17 Jul 2006|08:09pm]
Oh no! The sun is back! Run! Run for your lives!!

Did you know that pineapple soda is love? It’s true. They forgot to put it on the label but they’re not fooling me.

I think it’s time for the Adolf Hitler moustache to make a reappearance. For too long have we let the shadows of the third reich ruin our comedic potential.

My new computer is sexier than youw. You could dress yourself up in sexy lingerie and I’d still not come and spend the night. You could balance a box of chocolates on your head and I would still not desire you. You could insert strawberries into all your bodily openings and I would still not look your way. My computer is the new viagra.

It even has a handle on top. Not that I’m going to go anywhere with it. But it’s still good to know. If I ever felt like taking it on a picnic I would have no trouble at all. I bet it would even pack our lunch for me. And sing Liberace songs in uptempo speeds just to make me laugh.

I think I might have had too many pineapples. They can’t seem to sit still. They keep jumping over the fence. I think they’re trying to make me fall asleep. Silly pineapples. The only way that would work is if they were pumpkins and magically turned into sheep at midnight.

By grand design I am hereby pineappled good.

[16 Jul 2006|10:10pm]
The feeling of water wraps around you
time slows down for the summer

tribal drums
like bombshells on the beach

–

Your eyes are too blue
your aura too clear
as if you had never sinned

[14 Jul 2006|10:38pm]
[ mood: life and how to leave it ]

It’s okay to eat me
cause I don’t have any feelings

[12 Jul 2006|03:46pm]
Stay with your own kind
we don’t like people who don’t know their place
we don’t want people who won’t fit in
we stack the cards against you
you are not welcome
you are conveniently singled out
your aura is too bright
your eyes are too blue
we can see our own reflections in them and we don’t like it
you remind us of things we don’t want to remember
who are you to think you’re one of us?
who are you to think so highly of yourself?
you are whiskey watered down
you are an egg cracked on the sidewalk
you will be brushed aside
you will learn your place

[06 Jul 2006|09:43am]
You know what makes me happy? In all the new 2006 Radiohead concerts, when they play No Surprises. And they get to the line “Bring down the government, they don’t, they don’t speak for us”. Every time the crowd cheers wildly. That makes me happy.

[05 Jul 2006|08:37pm]
Mmm. There’s nothing like tepid cola. You know, now that it’s above 30 C, maybe I oughta put it in the fridge. You think? Actually I’m not supposed to drink cola. But then people aren’t supposed to start wars and plunder and draw hate cartoons. I think mine is a minor offence. I think Hermione is a funny name.

Clare||((I LOVE Noel/Gax))28:06:42:12[x]I’m Not For Sale[x] siger:
I’m brunette!
plume siger:
I must see
plume siger:
I insist
Clare||((I LOVE Noel/Gax))28:06:42:12[x]I’m Not For Sale[x] siger:
I have no pics
Clare||((I LOVE Noel/Gax))28:06:42:12[x]I’m Not For Sale[x] siger:
and it’s late
plume siger:
pffft you’re in ingerland, it’s an hour earlier. The time difference commands you
plume siger:
well some other time then
plume siger:
I am easily swayed
plume siger:
my opinions are like butter, melting in the sun

[03 Jul 2006|07:41pm]
It kinda makes me sad when Thom Yorke sings “you’re so very special”. It’s supposed to be fucking special. Sometimes I suspect that rappers write their lyrics censored from the get-go. I can just imagine Tupac sitting in a warehouse writing down “you muthabeeping ho i beep you in the beep and beep your beep with a beep truck”. Cause you know that getting on MTV is more important than getting into heaven.

It also makes me a little sad that Jon Stewart licks Lance Armstrong’s butt. I’m not anti-american just because I don’t like George Bush. But how many times did Lance win the Tour? Seven? He’s either doped up or he’s a freak of nature. Cycling is riddled with doping. If you make the doped monsters look like teddy bears for 7 years straight then you are either doped or you’re a freak. Okay, maybe he’s a freak. I don’t know honestly. But still. There’s no reason to bend over. And I know. Back in ’95 Bjarne Riis won the Tour and it was one of the biggest Danish sport achievements ever and at that time I was in love with cycling and it was awesome. But today? Come on… Riis was doped up good. I hate to say it, but it just doesn’t make sense otherwise. Today he is the manager of a team, and they just lost their best Tour candidate to.. doping. Don’t tell me cycling is okay. There’s a long way to go before I’ll be in love with that sport again.

The sun, it shines. Too brightly. I wish I could build a ladder so high that I could sit on the sun and see my reflection in the solar flares.

I think we should build a new Tower of Babel. Just to find out if we have come far enough to finally challenge god. I think god would be proud of us. The apprentice has become the master (say it in a Darth Vadery voice). Maybe one day we will build universes. Little tiny universes. Maybe one day we can create life. Oh wait, we already can. Well in theory. I kinda need a girlfriend for that to work.

[30 Jun 2006|12:08pm]
I slept for 17 hours yesterday. I dreamt of summoning a demon and defeating him through time. While taking pictures of my partner in a bikini. Good times were had by all. By me, at least. It is almost weekend and I am passing out, passing myself around, passing judgment on you all. The moment is already gone, yeah it passed.
I am reaDING BRIAN (oops capslock) Aldiss short stories at work. Some of them are shitey, but some of them are not and I like the 7 legged horse creatures. They remind me of Alien 3, the good version. The dark monastery and the sea at night. I wonder some times if I am a program, an artificial life form. And if I can shut myself down by thought alone. Some kind of stack overflow or syntax error. Isn’t it odd, look at your hand right now and imagine the bone. You are a skeleton dressed in skin and meat. But a skeleton nonetheless. Tap yourself on the forehead, isn’t it odd? It’s a skull, something to protect your brain. I am endlessly fascinated by the fact that we’re all skeletons, we are walking bones. How do we do it? Standing uprigth seems like such a grand feat. I don’t understand how I can move my fingers and type like this, I don’t understand how I can just do it without thinking. How the words drip from my mind and through my head, down my throat, along my arms and via my fingers they bleed onto the keyboard and appear on the screen. It seems miracously amazing. I wonder if I can do other things like that. Maybe the reason that humans can’t fly by flapping their arms is that they all, I mean WE all don’t try it. Maybe if I went outside and started flapping my arms I would take off. Why not? Birds do it, bees do it. Maybe if I try really hard. Who makes the rules? And why should i follow them. If I want to fly then who’s going to stop me? There must be some way to circumvent gravity. I don’t subscribe to your laws. I will defy gravity and I will ignore relativity and I will darn well not grow old. I will write my own laws and one day, mark my words, you will all be following my rules.

And trust me, the world will be all the better for it.

[27 Jun 2006|01:46pm]
I am doll parts. GI Joe. Gung ho. I am a stack of cards, stacked against you. I am bones, brittle breaking, crumbling into dust. I am the inside of your eyelids. The swirling stars when you close your eyes. I am patterns you can’t pick apart, I am colours drowned out by the sun. I rest at ease in peace.

[26 Jun 2006|01:47pm]
I’m very scared for this world. I’m very scared for me.

Sometimes when I lie down I feel like a turtle on its back. Unable to get up. And I wonder if I’ll have to lie there forever, watching the clouds drift by and the sun rising and the sun setting and the sun rising and teh sun setting and the sun rising and the sun setting and one day the sun won’t rise again. And it will be a nuclear winter, all the snow will be yellow. And the acid rain will wear us down. And people will deny the apocalypse but the apocalypse will not care. And on the last day we will hold hands, skeleton hands. And when they find us they will wonder what kind of strange being this four-legged, four-armed thing was. They will put us together like a puzzle, but they will still be puzzled. They could never dream of life as this. They will be scared because we’re different. They will try to recreate us by dna but they will never get it right. There will always be something missing. A finger here, an eye there. Pass our memories to idlebugs.

[16 Jun 2006|12:04pm]
I dreamt that I was going to write a book. And the first line was going to be “When I was born I was an ant”.

If that doesn’t have Bestseller written all over it, I don’t know what has.

————————-

… and then there will be silence.

This entry was posted on Friday, July 28th, 2006 at 21:39 and is filed under Blogging. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.