I was looking at old goat videos last night, and happened upon some videos of Moomincat. You remember Moomincat? The cat that came through my window once upon a time. I wonder how he is doing now. I hope he’s okay. That he found another window that was open for him.

Watching those videos made me want a cat of my own to hold. Naturally. Soon. It was also odd to see myself in my old room. Seems like a lifetime ago. Yeah, it’s been a long year and a lot have happened. Two major things in particular. Allow me to quote my new year’s entry from last year:

So my first goal for 2007 is to move out on my own. I had the same goal for this year. Good thing it wasn’t a resolution, eh! But seriously, it really is about time and I really need to get it done. It will be scary but it will also be a big and important step forwards for me. Hopefully they can help me a bit at TMU when I start there. That’s another one of my goals, to make the most of my stay at Tilværelse Med Udsigt and help them to help me to find my way forward. To live on my own and have a steady job of some sort, that’s a big priority

And those two things came true. Well, not the steady job. But getting help from TMU to find some sort of closure in regards to a place in the job market. And moving out to live on my own. Those are two quite huge things.

It’s almost hard to believe, looking back. What change.

I started at TMU on January 31st. And some six months later I was done, ready to apply for disability retirement due to social phobia. And I must say it’s something of a relief. Yes, I would have liked to do more with my life. Get a great job, earn a lot of money, be useful to society. But it’s just such a relief to not have to get up every morning and be forced out into something that makes me feel completely horrible. Now of course the challenge is to not let the scales tip to the other side and completely isolate myself and never go out etc. But that’s the resolution/wish for next year. To perhaps get working at that volunteer thing and certainly more at the playground so I do get out and get some social contact and make myself a little useful at least. Without the crippling pain that the normal workday brings.

The most important thing has been moving out. I have wanted to for so long. But been very afraid of it. And when I wrote that quote last year, I’m not sure I really believed that I’d be able to move out in 2007. I was expecting to have to write another new year’s entry going “in 2008 I’ll move out, no really I mean it this time”. But I did it. And I’m so happy that I did. It’s been five months now and I’m handling it just fine. I really like living on my own. It’s a tiny, fairly crappy appartment. But it’s mine, and I love it. As is often the case, there was nothing to really be afraid of.

And now I can sort of see the future as I want it. For a long, long time there was no clear picture. I was living at home and thrown out into various projects and practice-jobs. Didn’t know what would become of me. But now I can sort of see the picture ahead. It’s not amazing, but it’s good enough for me. Living on my own, with a cat. Working a little at the playground to keep myself busy. A little quiet life, with select few people and animals to make me feel ok. That’s what I’m working towards now. Slowly but surely. The two major steps, moving out and TMU, have been taken in 2007. 2008 probably won’t offer any monumental changes like that. But steady progress, I hope.

There you go. Three hours left of the year. For the first time in my life I’m not going to be toasting the new year with my family. That’s a bit of a weird feeling. But I had a nice dinner with them today. And I’ll get a phonecall once the clock has struck 12. And tomorrow is another day, and year.

A happy new year to everyone reading this. Thank you to everyone who has been reading my blog, followed my life through these changes. I hope you’ll stay tuned in 2008. Your support means so much to me. Along with my family and the goats, you guys are what keeps me going. Thank you.

And an especially happy new year to little Arthur and his family. Congrats on the baby, Desirée!

See you all next year!

This entry was posted on Monday, December 31st, 2007 at 21:18 and is filed under Blogging. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.