Tear You Apart
I try not to think of it. But it keeps sneaking in. And I cry. I replay the last moments. And it hurts.
I still can’t believe he’s gone. It is hard to understand.
I didn’t go to the playground today. Didn’t feel up to it. Tomorrow there are electricians coming by to read the meters. Don’t know when they’ll be here. I will stay home and wait and feel sorry for myself. That is always a good thing to do. Then I will go back to the playground on Friday I guess. It’s going to be so weird to not have Mads greet me. I do love Magnethe very much. And Vanilje. And I adore the kids. But I had a very close bond with Mads. I don’t know if I’ll ever have something like that again. Nothing will ever compare to him.
Life goes on, though. I will be okay, I promise. Thank you all for your support and sympathy. It means the world to me. I don’t deserve it. But Mads does. It makes me happy that I have been able to share him with you all. That his memory will live on. I know he will still bring a smile to my face, when I think of him. Just have to get through the tears first.
May 29th, 2008 at 1:19
Sure you deserve support, my dear Plume. You’d be there for all of us in similar circumstances.
It’s okay to cry and to grieve for Mads, I’d be mighty upset with you if you didn’t feel that way!
It’s normal, it hurts, and each day gets a little better. You’ll still miss Mads, but you won’t forget him even when your life goes on. His memory will be with us always.
May 29th, 2008 at 6:14
You must cry and you must grieve. They’re natural and normal for anyone who’s lost a dear loved one.
You can’t hold it in and it’s going to be a very, very long time before things are back to normal again.
So whenever you’re ready to go back to the playground, go back. Until then, you don’t have to.
You’ll know in your heart when it’s time.
For me, I can’t look at a photo of Mads since it just rips my heart to bits. Believe me, Debster and I and many others wept a lot over the loss.
Mads touched so many people around the world. But he touched you most of all, Plume.
May 29th, 2008 at 21:36
Debster – I couldn’t forget him if I tried.
LuisLemmings – Better not look at my latest entry. Maybe photos. But I know what you mean. It’s no good to put your head in the ground. Face the sorrow. I guess.