WAIT. Hold the phone. There’s new Rick and Morty tonight? And The Mandalorian in a couple of days? And Mr Robot Tonight?
Okay. I guess I don’t need these cyanide pills right now. I’ll just… put them in the top shelf, next to the happy pills and goat berries.
And I’m going to bed now so I can get up tomorrow and watch Rick and fucking Morty and Mr Fucking Robot that’s fucking right I swear now because I almost felt alive for a second.

10/11 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Mio Monday everyone.

11/11 2019
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I can’t believe Rick And Morty is still great. They make everyone else look like … ants with.. fins instead of… bee… I don’t… RICK AND MROTY SEASON 4 BABY
11/11 2019
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goatlog

11/11 2019
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It wasn’t in service to me, but thank you for your service to all the good people I see scrolling down the timelines.
I’ll try not to talk about bone spurs or sing Imagine.
11/11 2019
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The Sassy one

11/11 2019
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Today will be a good day. HappY Yogi Day everyone.

12/11 2019
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Good goat times today. Cold and grey, mostly. Cold enough to start to bother me. I guess I can’t wear t-shirts under my coat anymore. Might have to start bringing gloves too. I hate my poor circulation.
But the goats were good. Out and about. Running interference to save kids from Milo. Succesfully! No casualties.
I got a great idea, if I may boldly say so myself. Some of you may have seen on videos that there’s this leftover bit of a tree sticking out of the ground that the goats love to ‘duel’ with, as I call it. Sharpen their horns on. It was a newly planted tree that was broken off at the stump. So there’s just this slender, young, tree stump sticking out of the ground. And I thought, the goats love it so much.. wouldn’t it be nice if they had that in their pen too? Unfortunately I don’t really have the means to plant a whole new tree and then break it. But we do have a pile of old branches… so I gathered a few branches and “planted” them in the ground. Pushing them down as hard as I could and then literally hammering them down deeper with a rock. It took literally 30 seconds after I was done with the scary hammering, then the goats got busy ‘duelling’ them. I think I planted 3 or 4. So now the goats can sharpen their horns whenever. they like Which should make Milo even more lethal, whoops. Haha. No. But they seem to really like doing it, so I’m glad they can do it every day now, whenever they like. I’m curious to see if they’ll manage to pull them out of the ground. I did hammer them in pretty good, but you never know. It was fun to see how they immediately figured ‘oh one of those things, I must get busy destroying it’. Anytime they get a branch between their horns, they love thrashing it around. It’s like if you stick a pizza in my mouth I just start chewing.
12/11 2019
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Here’s Milo with one of the new toys. If you can call a stick in the ground a toy.

12/11 2019
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The first episode of The Mandalorian is out. I am dying to watch it. But when I’ve been out goating, my eyes are always busted. Going to save it for tomorrow and make it Star Wars day.
Please be good please be good please be good please b
12/11 2019
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Look, I planted a christmas tree!
A dead one, upside down…
It was hard getting it in the ground properly. And there’s lots of branches to pull on. So I’m curious to see if they’ll manage to pull it up. The only chance it has, is that I planted it in one of the muddiest mudpools. If it can survive the mudseason maybe it’ll be planted good for ever. Or until the next mud season..
To the left of it you can see another of the regular branches that I planted.

12/11 2019
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Pop quiz:
Did Lasse hit his own finger while using a rock to hammer branches into the ground?
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If you said no, hello my name is Lasse nice to meet you I look forward to you getting to know me.
.. nothing serious, don’t worry. Don’t even think I have a scratch.
(flashcut to tomorrow, help my finger fell off!)
12/11 2019
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Of course you have to check out if it’s edible too.

12/11 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Hump Day everyone.

13/11 2019
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goatlog

13/11 2019
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Aww yeah. Auntie speaks.
link: Kamel video
13/11 2019
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Here’s another of the sticks I planted.

13/11 2019
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Finally watched the first episode of The Mandalorian.
It looks and feels soo good. I’m a Star Wars fanboy, so you know you’re not going to get a negative review from me. I really enjoyed it. I’m not a Mandalore fetichist like some fans, and the bounty hunting underworld isn’t what I’m most interested in. But it’s still just really good. Funnier than I expected too. I just love the Star Wars universe. Just the scenes of the Mandalorian walking through the streets, talking to that Jabba Palace microphone thing. The creatures, the droids. The worlds. Carbonite. I just love that stuff. Really, what I just want is mundane stories set in the universe. What’s going on other than the Jedi Vs Sith, rebels vs empire stuff. This show isn’t quite that, but it has some glimpses of it. And I love that. If you told 13 year old me that he’d get this kind of quality of story and visual in the Star Wars universe, he’d be thrilled. I wish they’d just make anthology tv shows. What’s going on on Alderaan before it done blewed up. How’s the weather on Hoth? What happened to Jabba’s palace after he died (I realllly want that). What’s up with Bespin? What’s the life of a Tatooine moisture farmer like? And so on and s forth. Just tell great sci-fi/fantasy/comedy/realism stories with the saga iconography as the background tapestry.
So far so good. I love the IG droid, the way it moved. Totes neat. And Nolte was born to play an ugnaught. I have spoken!
PS the ending.. holy forking shirtballs. I did not see that coming a million parsecs away. I wonder where that’s going to go.
13/11 2019
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I also watched the first episode of the impeachment. Great effects, they almost made Trump look human. I’m glad they updated the CGI effects from the first trailer, his hair looked horrible in that. The Russian droids were well done. A gritty look at the criminal underworld.
13/11 2019
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Btw, now we know what a cross between Marvin the PAranoid Android and an IG bounty hunter droid would be.
“I’m going to self destruct” no no no
“ok we’re doomed, I’m going to self destruct” no we got this.
“I think I broke a finger, I’m going to initiate self destruct”.
Mwaha. I love those IG units.
13/11 2019
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I’m sorry about the Star Wars posts. I don’t want you to think I’m a nerd, so here are some goat butts.

13/11 2019
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In your face

14/11 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Bruce and Clark from 2014.

14/11 2019
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Good goat times. Cold again. Below 5C/41F. That’s not good for me. Changing the t-shirt to a blouse under my coat wasn’t really enough. Maybe it’s time for the sweater to come out. You guys remember my sweater? The one my mother made meeleventeen billion years ago and I keep going back to even though it’s ragged and torn, because it’s still better than anything new? Anyway. It’s tricky, because when I’m moving around with the goats I can stay fairly warm. But then I go sit on the bench with Mia and I freeze to the bone. It’s pretty hard to find a way to be comfortable in all situations. I just hate the cold and dark. It gets to me on many levels.
But anyway. The goating as good. Had some sweet visitors, and once again Milo managed to not murder anyone. And the goats had only managed to pull out one of the sticks I ‘planted’ last time. Oh, and the christmas tree. But I expected that. I’m glad I got that idea, though. The goats enjoy trashing them about.
Other than that, pretty uneventful day. Just good goat loving.
14/11 2019
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Where’s Waldo? And does he have our treats?
I feel like I’m a cartoon alcoholic and I have to rub my eyes to make sure I’m actually seeing all those goats.

14/11 2019
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You know, it’s great that they mentioned Life Day on The Mandalorian, but that doesn’t mean the Holiday Speial is canon. They’ve brought back Thrawn too, it’s not like that meant the Thrawn trilogy was suddenly canon. You also have to consider, wait where are you going? Why are you all leaving?!
14/11 2019
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Guns don’t kill people. People kill people. Which is why you shouldn’t let people have easy access to guns.
Also there is no god and you put people in lifetime scotus positions without properly investigating allegations against them, happy Life Day.
14/11 2019
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Goat is mortified that human keeps posting stuff on Facebook.

14/11 2019
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Let’s leave it all and go insane. Do not resuscitate, do not electro-shock, do not pet the guide dogs, do not pet the tigers. Do not touch the open wire. Do not go in the ocean until you have digested the news. Do not pass go. Do not call and collect Do not be alarmed, we are forwarding your concerns to the approriate authorities, don’t sweat it. You are being watched. Watch what you say. Your call is very important to us. Please hold the line. Please hold. Please hold on. Hold on. Don’t let go. Pleased to meet ya. Press 1 to talk to a human. Press 2 to walk like an Egyptian. Press play on tape. Don’t push it, kid.You got another thing coming. Let’s take a chance, a littler omance, a little off the sides, a love letter to ghosts that linger. Up in the attic, hidden in the static, etchakestchy character assasination, face the nation, get off at the next station. Don’t be afraid of the dark. You are likely to be beaten by the gruesome. You are our last hope. Last in the long line of less than zero more than enough, you think you’re so tough why don’t you put your money where your mouth kiss. See you where the sun don’t shine, see you in the landslide, see you in the camp fire, see you on the dark side of the moon, see you soon, see you wouldn’t want to bee who you wanna be, say wahat you wanna say, can Lasse come out to play? Here’s Johnny, here’s to the flag, here’s to the commander in grief, two scoops poopity scoop pop goes the weasel, what do you want from me, where are we going, what’s the point, the sharp end of the sticks and stones may break my bones but all the king’s horses and all the king’s men can freeze your organs and clone your dna.
Okay, this had gone on far too long enough
14/11 2019
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I’d like to apologise on behalf of Lasse’s brain. We’re going to have it looked at and maybe turn it off and on again, off and on again, off and on again, off and on again
14/11 2019
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This is a goat. Any questions?

14/11 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Mathilde and Vanilje from 2006.

15/11 2019
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goatlog

15/11 2019
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Time to watch The Good Place and The Mandalorian. You guys can keep the real world, I’ll be off in makebelieve.
15/11 2019
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Singing bonethugsnharmony as she prepares to reboot humanity. Mwahaha. I love The Good Place so much. I remember when it first came on, I was debating whether I could bother watching it. But it had Kristen Bell. And you know me and Kristen Bell. So I thought, eh I’ll watch the first episode or whatever.
Now today it is my favourite humorous tv show of all time. It’s amazing and beautiful, crazily inventive and smart, super dumb and goofy. Heartwarming and provocative. Although I’m not sure I can share its hopeful attitude towards humanity. But hey, it’s fiction! If I can believe in wars in space, I can believe that humanity is basically good if given the chance. Apart from the people who don’t support gun control while their kids are being slaughtered in their schools #MassaceMitch

PS I’m also super happy that one of the Janices pronounced GIF the right way. Janices know everything, so this is conclusive evidence.
15/11 2019
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Breaking news. Roger Stone found guilty. Another Trump man convicted. But yeah, the Mueller investigation was a waste of money and the impeachment stuff is a witch hunt.
I’ve done nothing wrong, now let me go change out of these bloodied clothes, said the axe wielding Republican.
15/11 2019
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#GoatContent

15/11 2019
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Sandcrawler! Jawas!!!!! Utinni, utinni.
16/11 2019
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Can’t wait to see the next version of A New Hope, in which Greedo grabs Han’s blaster and shoots himself in the head.
16/11 2019
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PS, if I had the talent and could be bothered I would be making a Two Men And A Baby meme with the Mandalorian and the Ugnaught.
16/11 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Herman from 2014.

16/11 2019
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I replanted the dead, upsidedown christmas tree. We’ll see if it sticks around this time!

16/11 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

17/11 2019
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Had a nice 21 hour nap. Off on adventures in the dreamworld. If it wasn’t for fiction and friends, I’d rather just stay in there. Reality bites.
17/11 2019
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Three sweets

17/11 2019
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Everything is dark. All you feel is water.
?_
17/11 2019
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Spot the human

17/11 2019
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Looks like Mia’s winter coat is coming in. She seems to get darker when it gets cold. Almost like she’s getting grey hairs.

17/11 2019
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That’s all for now.

This is also Denmark.
(FU Marvel)

3/11 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Mio Monday everyone.

4/11 2019
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Good goat times today. A rainy day. The goats weren’t too pleased about that. We hung out in the goat house. Then Milo and Sky had enough of being cooped up with the Sassy monster, so they went to the smallter shelter. I went there too and Mia followed me and we sat there for a while together. Eventually the rain did die down and we went for a quick tour around the premises. Wet grass and fallen leaves, not so great. But it’s always nice to get out. The goats ran a little ahead and they encountered Ophelia as she came to work. When she saw me appear around the corner she went “I wondered why the goats were out, but I figured you were probably around somewhere”. Yeah, if the goats are out of the pen, then I’m probably around somewhere.
I forgot my MP3 player this morning. I tells you what, that long walk along the highway is a lot less fun without ma stories.
4/11 2019
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Why rain?!?

4/11 2019
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I brought a couple of bananas for the goats today. I broke one in half and offered them to Milo and Sky, in the shelter. Sky dived right in. Milo, not so much. It’s so cute when goats can’t figure out a food and they start almost headbutting it. Milo was doing that, but apparently headbutting a banana does not make it tastier. Mia came over, but she also didn’t want it. So in the end Sky got the whole, big banana. It took her a while to eat all that but I think she was happy about it.
4/11 2019
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And here’s Nuller with the goat apology.

4/11 2019
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Look, I don’t know what to tell you.

4/11 2019
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The weather is bad, but the company is goat.
Now, off to surf the dreamwaves. See you in the high tide.

4/11 2019
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Today will be a good day. HappY Yogi Day everyone.

5/11 2019
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Whenever I’m watching a video in which someone clears their throat there is never one moment in which I do not think of ms Ann Elk. And usually I will also act out her most hysterical AHYYYY throat clearing.

5/11 2019
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I’m sorry, there’s no Nuller here.

5/11 2019
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*buzzes like a fridge*
5/11 2019
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“Lindsey Graham, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, says he won’t read any of the transcripts, and dismissed Sondland’s reversal”
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How is this real life? Person in power says ‘I won’t look at the evidence’.
Tally me banana republic ans
5/11 2019
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We’d like to apologise on behalf of the human, he’s not allowed back on twitter until he’s eaten his vegetables.
Wait, he’s not allowed to eat his vegatables until he’s fed the goats.

5/11 2019
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Kentucky Fried Bevin
6/11 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Hump Day everyone.

6/11 2019
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Knock, knock, knuckleheads

6/11 2019
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Feeling a little unwell. Not sure if I’m coming down with something or I’m just being a drama queen. Please like all my instagram posts and keep a watch outside my door with a candle a feathered writ of my life story.
6/11 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s baby Magnethe from 2005.

7/11 2019
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Do you ever feel like the universe is vast and empty and pointless and you didn’t order pizza?
7/11 2019
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Look at this mess. The stage is all covered in leaves. Good thing Milo is on the job, dedicated to cleaning it up.

7/11 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Bob from 2012

8/11 2019
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Good goat times today. The temperature just a smidgen above Hurts My Face. Grey, but it kept dry. The grass wet from recent rain.
Took the goats out for a round around the block. Some sweet visitors got goat petting time, and Milo didn’t savagely murder anyone. Not too shabby. Mia spent a lot of time staring up at the forbidden zone. I almost thought she’d try making a dash for it. I know it’s wishful thinking, but hey I can pretend that grandma’s spirit is wandering around there. She was a headstrong lady, always trying to get up there when she wasn’t allowed. I can just picture god up there on a cloud teating his hair out screaming “COME BACK HERE, YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO GO DOWN THERE!”.
Made myself laugh thinking how grandma would have reacted to having five little pygmy goats in her herd. She would have kept them on a tight leash. Mia sometimes gives Sassy the ‘I’m the boss around here’ headbutt. But nothing like the Mio train.
Sigh. Miss ya, old growler.
8/11 2019
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Mia, staring up at the forbidden zone.
Later she went up on a little hill where there’s a pathway up to the forbidden zone, but she was walking slowly and cautiously. I diverted her attention, not sure if she would have gone up there or not.

8/11 2019
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I started reading the new Star Wars book.
When they told Wedge about Luke… I… sorry, I need a minute.
TURN THE CAMERA OFF
*unintelligible*
8/11 2019
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He can walk. He can walk. I can bleeeat.

8/11 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Finn and Jacob from 2009.

9/11 2019
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This is my fight song. This is my donut. This is my hat rack. These are some of my old Star Wars figures. This is a video of me saying what some things are.
9/11 2019
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goatlog

9/11 2019
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High Nuller

9/11 2019
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I think I have lost a couple of friends recently. It’s probably because of the goat posts. I should talk more about politics, right?
Let me tell you why Christianity is problemati
9/11 2019
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Here’sa goat post, how you like me now boomer?
#Lily

9/11 2019
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PARK LIFE
10/11 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

10/11 2019
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Another perfectly framed selfie

10/11 2019
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How is the South Park version of Rudy Giuliani more human than the human version of Rudy Giuliani?
10/11 2019
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Sweet, little Sky. With her wonky horn.

10/11 2019
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I have been listening to Grimes pretty much nonstop since she was featured on Mr Robot a few weeks ago. Not really the genre of music I normally listen to a lot. But her Art Angels album is amazeballs, fellow kids. 10/10 would upvote again.

10/11 2019
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That’s all for now.