Today will be a good day. This is Springbok from 2006.

20/8 2018
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Good goat times today. Must have rained last night, because the ground was wet. But it kept dry while I was out. A bit windy, but lots of good sunshine. It seems like the really hot days might be over, but pleasantly warm summer days are good too. And the water we’ve been getting has been good for the grass. Finally green again. Which the goats enjoyed, of course. For a long while they’ve been restricted to leaves and bushes, but now the grass is a viable target again.
Lots of good visitors too. A couple of African (I think) women came by and gave me a rare chance to actually speak English out loud. One of them was very shocked when I told them that no, Mio isn’t pregnant. That usually surprises people, but she was like covering her mouth with her hands and going NOOOO. She couldn’t believe it. Some daycare groups visited too. One little boy was very proud that he managed to pet all four goats. I bet he’ll have some stories for his folks when he gets home. We had visitors at the fence too when we were back in the goat pen. There’s always that little bit of dilemma in me when people arrive at the fence. If I just sit and play with the goats and pretend I don’t see them maybe they’ll go away… But then I hu-man up and go to the fence so the goats will follow and the visitors will get their time with them. Sweet kids bringing leaves, and one little practically toddler lifted in over the fence to pet them. Sweet times. Maybe if people brought pizza for me I’d be as excited to see them as the goats are excited by the leaves.
20/8 2018
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Well, well, well. Look who made it all the way up. Take that, gravity!

20/8 2018
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They’re so sweet when they’re tired.

20/8 2018
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The grass os greem again. Time to eat it all.

20/8 2018
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Little girl, big girl.

20/8 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi Day everyone.

21/8 2018
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I forgot I wanted to share this. I really like how I caught Sky in her run. Zooming out as she ran towards us. They may be chubby but they can still move considerably faster than I can.
link: Sky run video
21/8 2018
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The goat house is split into two sections now, so it was nice to see all four of them sitting in the same section.

21/8 2018
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I had great dreams last night again. I’m so glad I got my dream mojo back. Experiencing and feeling being in the dreams instead of just waking up and remembering them. It’s a great feeling. Some of the highlights from last night include me being some kind of Omen possessed demon child in a movie my parents made of me and my brother as kids (plot twist at the end of the movie: My parents made it all up, I wasn’t a demon child at all! …as far as anyone knows *shifty-eyes*). And a concert with the Foo Fighters in which I was harrassed by an usher who accused me of secretly taping the concert. He was demanding to examine my ears because he thought I had recording devices in my ears?! Meanwhile the concert hall was half empty and Grohl ended up playing acoustic guitar for a handful of fans in the other end of the place while I was dealing with the usher. And that’s just the tip of the dream iceberg!
21/8 2018
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Thoughts and prayers for all the guilty witches. Sing the song on the jukebox that goes

21/8 2018
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I think someone wants a treat.

21/8 2018
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Exclusive preview of an upcoming episode for the premium subscribers.
link: Mia lean on me video
21/8 2018
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BREAKING NEWS ON FOX: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS CAT?!
Up next: Gangnam Style, still totes hip or not? Don’t change the channel!

22/8 2018
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Goat news: still the best

22/8 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day everyone.

22/8 2018
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goatlog

22/8 2018
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You can tell it’s a windy day by the beard.

22/8 2018
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Uhm, Mia? You can.. you can just walk around the fence. It’s like 3 steps.

22/8 2018
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Comfortably plump

22/8 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Clark and Bruce from 2014.

23/8 2018
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Good goat times today. Warm and lots of sun coming through a light cloud cover. Pretty humid too, though, so it didn’t feel great at first. But I walked it off. I mean, I goated it off. Once you’re with goats you tend to forget about feeling bad. Out to grazem happily. The grass is greener now, but I can tell the leaves are getting less plentiful. Once the goats have ‘hit’ a spot it doesn’t replenish as fast. But that’s just a good excuse to walk around and visit other places. Pretty quiet day, only a couple of visitors and the kindergarteners admiring from afar. Then back to the goat pen for relaxation. Although I did do some manual labour. Expanded the new platformery. Which involved carrying some heavy stone slabs around. Had a little accident while doing that. Managed to drop a heavy slab on my finger. Ouch. Those things are heavy and it hurt like a rancor. Blood around the nail. For a second I was worried I was going to lose a finger nail over it. But it wasn’t that bad. It’s still a little sore, but nothing too bad. And the goats liked the extra platforms. The kids had a good ‘king of the hill’ session, butting each other down. That was fun to watch. And I like when they sit down on it. It’s like a dais. A goat shrine. The platform is long enough now that I can lie down full-length on it. Makes me feel like Jabba the hutt on his throne. But with baby goats climbing on me instead of Salacious Crumb.
23/8 2018
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Just testing that… it’s.. safe… zzzzzzz

23/8 2018
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Do we still get treats on this thing?

23/8 2018
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The Don’t Give A Fork Duck is watching you.

23/8 2018
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I goat you babe

23/8 2018
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Today will be a good day. Have a Fuzzy Friday, here’s the fuzzbonk from 2016.

24/8 2018
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goatlog

24/8 2018
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Goat zen?

24/8 2018
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Yes, I’m definitely spending my time productively this here night, thank you for asking.
24/8 2018
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Cool calm collected

24/8 2018
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Make me choose between two things that are totally unrelated one of which is pizza.
Spoiler alert, pizza always wins.
24/8 2018
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It’s 2:39 am, do you know where your clock is?
25/8 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Popcorn from 2015.

25/8 2018
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Mwah

25/8 2018
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A little love goes a long way

25/8 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

26/8 2018
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Time to go exercise NO DONT TRY TO STOP ME DONT … hello? Anyone? …
26/8 2018
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Mio spotted her arch nemesis. A ball. Those things are the devil. According to grandma.

26/8 2018
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Rest in peace, John McCain. I hadn’t realised that things were that bad, that he was that close. Very sad.
..spoiler warning: political ranting ahead. Don’t read on.. It gets Trumpy and gunny, ineveitably..
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I’m sure there were many, many issues I’d disagree iwth him on. But he always seemed to at least care about basic, human decency. Something that’s sorely lacking in politics (not just in America). It was nice to see SOMEONE go against the tyrant toddler dumpster fire. The depravity and stupidity of the current regime just seems bottomless. And again, it’s not about the politics. McCain was the perfect example of someone I could like even though I disagreed with him. Trump’s politics don’t matter anymore. He’s a hideous monster dragging America through the dirt and it’s sickening to watch even for someone who isn’t directly affected by it all. I wish there were more people like McCain who could stand their ground a little instead of jumping like lemmings into the bottomless hole of insanity.
Ugh. I’ve been trying to keep the politics off Facebook. But Jesus christ everything is insane. It says a sad thing about humans that they’re willing to accept someone like Trump to get their politics in power. No wonder the crooked get rich and powerful. No wonder men like Clinton and Trump can just keep cheating on their wives and abusing women. There are no consequences if you have the money and feed the ignorants their prejudices. One woman killed by an immigrant and everyone is in the red about immigration, meanwhile hundreds thousands killed by good christians with guns and nothing happens. I just made the mistake of listening to audio from the Jacksonville gaming tournament shooting, and I deeply regret if because now I feel sick to the core. But I didn’t hear any allahu ackbar so thoughts and prayers and move on right, keep bringing guns to gaming tournaments in case you have to defend yourself against the enemy of the people.
fuck fuck fuckity fuck, I’m getting really fucking tired of the real world. I don’t see a path out of the quicksand shit we’re sinking in. Time to reboot the race and try again. Come come meteor come.
Blah blah. Just had to shart out those thoughts, make room for goats. The world can fork itself as long as I have goats.
One less good man, not a lot to spare.
26/8 2018
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Let there be goatlog instead

26/8 2018
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Started reading the novelization of The Last Jedi. It starts with a dream sequence of how Luke’s life would have gone if he’d stayed on Tatooine instead of heading off on adventures. That made me happy because I love Tatooine and I’d be all there for Lucky Luke’s Life On Tatooine, the netflix series. Or something.
Also amusing was the concept of “that’s just Cantina talk”. Made me think of the good old locker room talk defense. I sure am glad that things people say in locker rooms don’t acurately depict what kind of person they actually are in real life, sure dodged the bullet on that one. Etc.
26/8 2018
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Think goat thoughts, think goat thoughts

26/8 2018
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By the way, I dreamt about Milo and Sky last night. Only, in my dream they were named A38 and B38. Surely hatched from Yogi’s rocks.
26/8 2018
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And, speaking of Yogi’s rocks. Here’s Milo standing on my favourite rock. You can’t tell by the picture I’m sure, but that rock has the perfect shape for back ache therapy. You know the episode of the Simpsons where Homer becomes a chiropractor because he gets a trash can that stretches people’s backs when they lie down over it? Or.. something. I forget. Anyway, when I lie down with my back on that rock it feels reeeal good. It’s the perfect shape for healing back aches. I often sit up against the rock and then Mia comes over and sits down in the shelter. If you’ve seen videos on her page where she’s sitting in there and yawning, I film those while sitting up against the rock. So, that’s something I just told you.

26/8 2018
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It’s all goats

26/8 2018
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That’s all for this week.

Today will be a good day. Here’s Herman from 2014.

13/8 2018
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Good goat times today. Muchly needed. It was a fairly cold morning with light rain. And the rain only got worse. Which lead to one of those standoffs where you tell the goats to go outside and the goats look at you and look at the rain and look at you and you get the pictured. I was a big meanie, though. Someone had left a wheelbarrow inside. So I got the goats all lined up at the door and I bulldozed them outside. Haha, no. I just moved the wheelbarrow a little that was enough to scare the goats out in the rain. I know, I’m horrible. I think they forgave me once we made it to the goat house and I handed out treats.
And then, lots of sweetness in the goat house. Listening to the rain. Relaxing. Giving everyone some good one-on-one time. I think grandma took a little nap while I was holding her head. After a while she stopped chewing her cud and then she was making little snoring sounds and her head started getting heavier in my hands. So sweet. I was tempted to take a nap myself, but I was in a pretty uncomfortable position. And you know how it is when you don’t want to move because you don’t want to disturb the animal. And usually I’m the one resting my head on her, only fair to let her relax like that on me.
See, I’m not always the mean wheelbarrow guy!
Eventually the rain died down and we went out to do some grazing. Usually we do the grazing in the morning and then relax in the pen when the bellies are full. Today we did it the other way around. And we went out a little further than usual. Past the kindergarten to a nice, green corner with lots of leaves. The kindergarteners were playing a game called Quiet Game. It consisted mostly of them screaming QUIET GAME 1 2 3 and then everyone’s supposed to be quiet, but inevitably none of them are quiet and so someone else yells QUIET GAME 1 2 3 and again no one is quiet and so it the QUIET GAME 1 2 3 announcement gets louder and higher pitched until everyone is just screaming gibberish. Haha. They also played some kind of superhero game, and I believe they were all girls. There were only 3 or 4 of them outside. One said “I’m Batman” (In a cute girly voice, not a gruff Christian Bale voice) and then another said “I’m Superman”. And then another one said “I’m Girl Batman” and one said “then I’m Girl Superman”. Haha. Who needs a TV when you can listen to kindergarteners. They tried calling the goats over too, but the goats were too busy with the greens and the very loud QUIET GAME wasn’t helping. Sometimes kids get the idea in their head that that they have to be really loud to get the goats’ attention, not realising that really loud kids are not something goats are terribly fond of.
Not too many visitors because of the rain today, but we did meet one of the dog-walking ladies that we’ve met before. She was very nice and we talked a little. It’s nice when you get to know people a little and they recognise you and are happy to see you.
13/8 2018
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Oh yeah, guess who’s back? I mean, guess whose front?

13/8 2018
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In the goat house with goofs. Or in the goof house with goats.

13/8 2018
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Watching the rain go by

13/8 2018
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Grandma’s ready to go nap-nap.

13/8 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi Day. May her gentle spirit inspire us all.

14/8 2018
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goatlog
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HM3yjqLj6qo

14/8 2018
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It’s a lot nicer having Milo step on my foot compared to when Mio does it…

14/8 2018
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Idea for a sketch:
A guy goes into a fish store (What’s a fish store called? I don’t.. words) and tries to buy a fish. But the Fish Store Owner refuses to give him a fish, instead insists on teaching him how to fish.
14/8 2018
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I love grandma Mio all the way from her beard to her tail and back.

14/8 2018
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Exclusive outtake for the premium subscribers. I am pretty sure Mia did this on purpose. Stepped in front of the camera and started pooping.
link: Mia video
15/8 2018
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When you gotta sleep you gotta sleep

15/8 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day everyone.

15/8 2018
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Denmark VS Fox News

15/8 2018
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Mwah

15/8 2018
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Happy birthday, Mia. Six years, and hopefully many more to come.

15/8 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Peanut from 2015.

16/8 2018
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Good goat times today. Cloudy, but it stayed dry and pleasantly warm. Good times grazing and browsing and entertaining visitors. Several groups of excited kindergarteners came by, amongst others. Remember that one little kid that got awfully frightened when the pygmies jumped up on the picnic table? I think that family was back. I’m not sure, because I can’t see well enough to recognise them. But it was a mother with two kids. One very young, which I believe was the scared one. But it went much better this time. The goats were in the pen, so a lot less scary. The mother said “they’re so cute, when they’re not eating our food”. She asked if the little ones could pet the goats and she lifted her over the fence so she could pet Mio, who as always stood still and enjoyed the attention. So that was a much better experience for the little kid.
I also did some work expanding the new platform I had made. Bigger and better now. And I got to chat a little with Ophelia, which was very nice.
16/8 2018
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What… are you doing?
Mia supervising the construction of the new platform. I was being a little noisy and dragging heavy things around (which they do NOT like), so Mia was kind of hiding behind the goat tower there. If I’d been a little faster with camera it would have been a cuter picture with her peeking around from the side. But when I stopped construction and took out my camera she sensed that the danger was over so she came out from hiding.

16/8 2018
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Room for two on the platform now.

16/8 2018
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respect
16/8 2018
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I tried to get grandma to get up on the platform, but this was as close as we got. Gravity is a harsh mistress.

16/8 2018
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Milo says it’s good enough to nap on. I’ll take that as a compliment.
Sky came over and started pawing the ground (it’s cute how they do that even when they’re on a solid surface) to prepare to sit down next to him, but then something must have caught her attention elsewhere because she wandered off instead of sitting down. Too bad, I would have liked a picture of them sitting side by side on the new platform.

16/8 2018
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Well, grandma didn’t make up on it, but she found it good enough to sit NEXT to, so that’s something.

16/8 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Popcorn from 2015.

17/8 2018
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My jaw hurts. I probably shouldn’t have stuffed that whole pizza in my mouth in one go.
17/8 2018
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I would do anything for chocolate, but I won’t do that.
Wait, how MUCH chocolate are we talking about?
17/8 2018
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I feel off. Disassociated. Struggling to put words to the feeling. The machine keeps going.
17/8 2018
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Put a little goat on it

17/8 2018
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Black cat appreciation day? I can just imagine a horde of straight, white male cats raging about this on twitter.
18/8 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Preben from 2012.

18/8 2018
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Really loud bagpipes and steel drums right outside my door. It’s been nice knowing you all, I wish you good luck during Ragnarok.
18/8 2018
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All users of the MagicGoatSelfie App should upgrade to the latest stable version. We just fixed a bug that accidentally posted selfies without goats in them. Thank you to everyone who submitted a bug report, we take these kinds of things very serious and we assure you that such a thing shall not happen again. The responsible parties have been pelted with goat berries and severely reprimanded by our CEO screaming goat.

18/8 2018
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Who nose?

18/8 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

19/8 2018
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Good dream times last night. I’ve been having trouble for a week or two getting into the real deep dreamscape, so it was great to find my way back to the magic. Well, I’m sure I’ve been going there. I just haven’t been remembering and feeling reality and dreams mix. I love whn that happens. Last night I was adventuring with Indiana Jones (although he didn’t call himself that, I think for copyright grounds) and we jumped out a plane and where kind of gliding around in the air on ropes and it was quite cool. And there were enchanted horses in a forest and doublecrossing mafia people and boobies and frying pans soaking in the sink and goats. I dreamt that Mia and Mio moved into my apartment. How cool would that be?
19/8 2018
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goatlog

19/8 2018
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Big girl and little girl.

19/8 2018
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Watching Matt Groening’s new Disenchantment show. Cute so far. But my favourite thing about it is all the Futurama voice talent on display. I miss that show. Nice to hear some of the voices again.
19/8 2018
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Bleating heads

19/8 2018
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Lots of you to love

19/8 2018
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That’s all for this week.