Today will be a good day. Have a Mads Monday. Here he is from 2006.

5/11 2018
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Good goat times today. Pretty gloomy out, but at least there was very little wind. That makes it a lot more comfortable. Touring the grounds with the goats, looking for scraps of green. Some silly running around, getting sperated by fences and getting in places they shouldn’t be. But all in good fun. Grazing along the kindergarten fence, with a few little ones excitedly blabbering on the other side.
And then things got freaky in the goat house again. Mia trying to hump first Milo then Sky, with bucky grunting noises. Sheesh, someone needs a boyfriend.
5/11 2018
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Yeah, grandma got past me and made it to the forbidden zone. Can’t keep a good goat down.

5/11 2018
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When they open the voting ballots let it be like the opening of the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Let it burn away all the nazis.
5/11 2018
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“If we find a way to crack this giant coconut we’ll be fed for days…”
Well, the Lasse unit is heading to the bed place. Further inquiries can be directed to the Q Continuum.
Oh, and remember to vote if you’re American. Now, I’d never presume to tell you who to vote for. But if you want me to whine less about politics…

5/11 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day everyone.

6/11 2018
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I slept so much. And I dreamt so much. Many beautiful things. Sad too. I dreamt of Palle. I dreamt of finding him lifeless… but then we shook him and he started to come to and we massaged his belly and he spit out the bad stuff he had eaten. If only that was how it had gone in real life…
6/11 2018
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Idris Elba is the sexiet man alive?
Once again my hopes are crushed. Voting truly does not matter. It’s all rigged by the Russians anyway. Can’t believe I waxed my bikini line for nothing.
6/11 2018
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We’re a little on the fence about this.
Get it?
Goat Distraction Squad on the job.

7/11 2018
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Well, I sure appreciate this happy ending. It looked bad for a while, but everything is going to… wait, where’s the body of the insane axe murderer? He was right there…
OHMYGOD THE POLL IS COING FROM INSIDE THE HOU
7/11 2018
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I remember seeing all the #MeToo posts coming in on Facebook, being shocked at how there was seemingly no end to them. It was an eyeopener (for a straight white male as myself). And a needed one. But I sure like the feeling of seeing all the I Voted posts better.
It makes me wish I could vote tonight too. Unfortunately I missed the bus that the Democrats sent to Denmark to bring in illegal socialist votes from Europe.
7/11 2018
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To distract you from the election, here is a guy posing next to a fuzzy goat butt.

7/11 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day everyone. Keep love a light.

7/11 2018
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Flying superkid

7/11 2018
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Did we save the world? Did we save.. the cheerleader.. did we save me obiwankenoby you’re my only hope.. did we won’t believe these crazy savings.. did we didgeridoo diddily ding dong my sandwitch is ready
7/11 2018
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Stan Against Evil season 3 is on. Better than ever. I’ve seen John C McGinley in 3 shows and he basically plays the same character in all 3 and I basically forking love him in all 3. If you have ever wondered what it would be like if Dr Cox from Scrubs was Buffy from Buffy The Vampire Slayer, go watch Stan Against Evil.
Toads to the max.
7/11 2018
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After all the allegations that dead people vote for Democrats, it’s kinda funny that a dead Republican won his election. I think it’s pretty clear who the dead vote for.
Several indicted guys won too, so that accounts for the illegals voting I guess?
7/11 2018
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We all know grandma is pulling the strings from the shadows anyway. Deep Goat State.

7/11 2018
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Back to dreams I go. It was fun having hope for a day, but it’ll be nice to get back to everything being on fire with sirens in the background again.
Just kidding. Lighten up. Everything is fine. Worse things happen at sea.

7/11 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Finn and Jacob from 2009.

8/11 2018
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Wherever it may take you

8/11 2018
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goatlog

8/11 2018
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Sorry, grandma. You’re on the wrong side.

8/11 2018
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Live action Cassian Andor TV series? Iiinteresting. I need like 12 more Star Wars shows to keep me away from reality, though.
Gimme that Tatooine show already.
8/11 2018
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Watching the new episode of The Good Place and there are goats bleating. This is not a drill. There are goats bleating. Everybody be quiet, I need to focus.
8/11 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Clark and Herman and a human visitor from 2014.

8/11 2018
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Good goat times today. Twas a dark and foggy morning. A little creepy actually. And it only got creepier when I turned the corner at the playground and encountered a dark figure standing still, watching me. He was standing at that corner where Mio did her failed limbo attempt if you saw that video a couple of days ago. There’s branch across the fence opening. And in fact the dark figure started to move.. and knocked down that branch, like a failed goat limbo attempt. Said something in a human voice, so that assured me that it was in fact a human and not some ghastly demon waiting to collect my soul. Still a little creepy that he was just standing there in the dark fog, though. I thought maybe he was watching the horses in their pen. But now that I think about it, he wouldn’t really have been able to see them through the fog. Not gonna lie, it scared me a little. Probably just someone out for a walk who’d stopped to grab a smoke, or something. Or a demon from hell who would have murdered me if he hadn’t tripped that branch. Who knows.
The goats were out in the pen when I got to them (hastily walking there without looking back. Because we all know if you’re being followed by an axe murderer they can’t hurt you if you don’t look back). They were a little spooked too, though. When I opened their gate they didn’t want to come out. Milo and Sky eventually, carefully got out. Mia wouldn’t walk past the gate until I lured her with a treat. Grandma didn’t even want to consider leaving the goat house. Yeah, they don’t like the dark fog. Didn’t help that just then a man walked by the pen with a dog (I don’t think it was the dark figure person, that one didn’t have a dog I think. Or maybe he did and I just didn’t see it and everything is fine you guys can someone check outside my front door?!). Sent Milo and Sky running back to the pen for safety. It was a little dog and it was on a leash. But Mia was still properly freaked. The dog did that thing of sort of jumping back and forth sideways and barking. And Mia carefully advanced on it with a deathly stare in its direction. I figured I’d better not take any chances so I walked into the goat pen and called them all with me. And so we spent some time in the goat house until everyone felt a little safer. Grandma still didn’t want to leave the pen, but she eventually followed after the rest of us had left and walked around the corner.
We walked around for a bit trying, to find some greens. Then things got more fun as a group of kids, probably a school or kindergarten group, came to visit. One of their adults told me that they’d been having a “Three Billy Goats Gruff” theme and they wanted to go see some real goats. So that was nice. They had a bag of bread which the goats were not allowed to have. Naturally the goats wanted it. Badly. So there was a bit of panic, but all in good fun. And some of the kids would afterwards go “Oh no it’s the bread thieves” every time they saw the goats. And then they sang the son, from the fairy tale I think? About the three goats and the trolls and how you shouldn’t reply to their comments online. Something like that. When they left they thanked me for the opportunity to see and talk about the goats and I thanked them for the song.
Then grandma got in a bit of trouble. She ttried to get up to the forbidden zone and got into a place of dense trees and bushes where I couldn’t really follow. It’s a small place, it’s not like they could really get lost in there. But I did get a little worried as a I found a way in and then stumbled around crashing through bushes and breaking branches, feeling like Indiana Jones in a thick jungle. It took quite some time and effort to get in there and catch grandma and get her out. Grandma is the key. If I get her out then I just have to call and whistle and the others will follow. They got that herd mentality and don’t want to be left behind. Grandma got that “I’m the queen bee and ima do what I want so I’ll go this way and if you don’t follow then bye felicia, see you when you get there”. Calling and whistling for her doesn’t really work if she’s got her mind set on something else. I might actually have to start bring some rope when we go out now. There’s so little green that they wander and seek a lot and grandma’s got her mind set on the forbidden zone and now she’ll probably want to go in the jungle too. Sheesh. Potted plants don’t escape to the jungle.
But it’s all in good fun. More eventful day than I had planned, but at least the soul-eating dark demon of the foggy downs didn’t catch me.
Sorry about the long entry. I don’t make the news, I just report them.
8/11 2018
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Grandma’s name is Nope.

8/11 2018
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The fog goat

8/11 2018
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Yeah, grandma wins another round

8/11 2018
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Into the fog of dreams I go

8/11 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Magnethe and a couple of lambs from 2005.

10/11 2018
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Orange you glad I didn’t say fog?

10/11 2018
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Finished reading Stephen King’s Elevation. It was short. But it came with Laurie, which is about a man getting a dog. And it made me want to get a dog.
Of course, the goats would never forgive me.
11/11 2018
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3:20 am pizza sesh, you up?
11/11 2018
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Topical Lasse quiz:
As a kid, was I the Dungeon Master for a group of classmates playing Dungeons & Dragons?
11/11 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy funday everyone.

11/11 2018
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Do I regret not investing in MicroSoft stock 30 years ago? Sure. But even moreso I regret not investing in cake the last time I went shopping.
11/11 2018
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That was quite lovely, Pete Davidson apologising to Dan Crenshaw on SNL. But I mean, Kate McKinnon as Jeff Sessions drinking from the water bottle. Wow.
11/11 2018
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Paint the way

11/11 2018
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This is the kind of stable genius you miss if you don’t follow me on the tweeter:

Lasse Plume‏ @djaliplume
Actually, I think it would probably be a good idea to keep Trump out of the rain. And also, make sure he finishes his cheeseburger before midnight. #GremlinFromTheKremlin
11/11 2018
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Okay, I won’t quit my day job as scruffy looking goat herder

11/11 2018
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Respect to the vets out there, hope everyone is safe from the fires, And thank you to everyone who shines a little light. Every light you find is precious.
11/11 2018
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I am the sleeper, what world is this?
13/11 2018
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, rest in peace Stan Lee. I was never a Marvel guy, but can’t deny, Stan was the man. Excelsior.
13/11 2018
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Late night goat butts for the mature audience.
13/11 2018
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That’s all for this week.

If now isn’t the time to awaken Cthulhu then I don’t know when is.
link: deep sea expeditions article
29/10 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Choko from 2008.

29/10 2018
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Good goat times today. Cold, cold wind though. At least no snow, unlike other parts of Denmark. But the wind was too much for me. I wore a t-shirt under my light winter coat. Not enough. Sigh. Couldn’t stay as long as I wanted with the goats, because the wind was daggers in my bones.
Grandma was up and ready to go, though. More mobile than I’ve seen her in quite a while. Maybe it was because I was a little late. I had foot therapy in the morning plus it was the daylight savings switcheroo. Maybe she was impatient. When I opened their gate she strolled right on out, overtaking the others that had made it out of the gate first. And she took the lead in a lot of our walking around. We walked a little farther out the path between the pen and the alt pen than we’ve been before. Found good greenish stuff to munch. Good to see her go, she’s been slowing down lately. But she can still lead the flock.
I was standing out there thinking “Gotta give the goatzies more time in the green, just a little more time, just a little more” while the cold was embracing me like a long lost lover. The one you wish really would stay away. Hey humans, I know what this thing called love is also.
Eventually I had to give up and dragged the goats back to the goat house. And then I selfishly caught the little ones and snuggled them until my fingers warmed up. I gotta grow goat fur.
And then the funniest thing of the day happened. Mia started sniffing around Sky’s back quarters and then started making the bucky grunting sound and then started trying to mount her! Oh my gosh. I know it’s a dominance thing and or some hormonal thing probably, but I couldn’t help laughing. Mia’s tail raising upright in a most phallic way and then giant Mia trying to mount tiny Sky.
Things are getting freaky in the goat house!
29/10 2018
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Grandma led the way to a new hedge. Clearly it’s in need of a goat trimming.
Also, please note the human on the roof. There’s been a couple of workers working on that building for a while. I feel bad for them on a day like today, that cold wind must be awful up there.

29/10 2018
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brb, hot chocolate ya
29/10 2018
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Okay, but someone tell me why they have those machines that lift the R2 units into the X-Wings? If the R2 units can APPARENTLY FLY which they definitely could the whole time, right? Or was that a special upgrade R2-D2 got and then uninstalled for the Original Trilogy?
Anyway, this hot chocolate goood ya
29/10 2018
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Had my annual foot status done today. Slight improvement in sensitivity on both feeds. That’s the 3rd or 4th year in a row with improvement, so that’s good. It’s probably because grandma insists on stepping on my toes. Gets the blood flowing.
29/10 2018
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Follow the bleater. Grandma’s leading the way.
I, however, am heading to the bed place. It might be a long one, as the sailer said to the nun with the measuring tape.

29/10 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day everyone.

30/10 2018
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Best handwarmers

30/10 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy hump day everyone.

31/10 2018
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Good goat times today. I decided to go and do a little shopping first. Since it’s Halloween, I thought I’d bring some pumpkins for the goats. It was a risky endeavour, since in the past the goats have not been crazy about whole pumpkins. But I thought I’d try. So I went to the grocery store and got two pumpkins and dragged them with an aching back all the way to the playground. The things you do for goats. And then the goats said “nuh, what else you got?”. Haha. Well, after I cut them in halves Mio had a good go at them. For a minute, then she headed towards the greens. Again today she was more mobile than i’ve seen her lately. So, I went and put the pumpkins in the goat house and then we went out to the greens because apparently THAT’S something they want. Pfft. Some kids went by, cheering for the goats as they passed. And later on a grandmother with a little girl came over and talked a little and looked at the goats and petted them. Then they went off to buy Halloween candy. For themselves, not for us. When they returned on their way home we were all in the goat house. So I went over to the fence and got the goats to follow me. So the little girl could get to do some more goat petting. Then I wanted to show off a little, so I got Mia to shake my hand. A big success. And Mia got a peanut for it. “A treat, just like your Halloween candy” the grandmother said. And the girl emphatically said “No! That’s candy, not treats!”. Well, I guess she doesn’t have to do tricks for her candy. That… sounds kinda wrong, doesn’t it?
Anyway. Happily the goats decided after all that the pumpkins maybe perhaps weren’t all that bad. So once back at the goat house they all got into the pumpkin munching. It wasn’t a complete waste of time after all. Pumpkin definitely isn’t their favourite food, but it’ll do. They love the clean pumpkin seeds I usually bring. Maybe the whole thing is just a bit too much to manage, even when cut in pieces.
Anyway, that’s our Halloween story.
31/10 2018
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“Do I really have to eat this?!”
Fine time to start getting picky, Mrs Eatsitall.

31/10 2018
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Happy Halloween.
Please come haunt me, Palle.

31/10 2018
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Happy Halloween, we’ve come to eat your souls!

31/10 2018
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You’re probably wondering how I, a simple ventriloquist doll, am able to talk to you so vividly and free of all prodding, fleshy extremities. Wheeel, it all started one particular Hallow’s Eve in the early 18th century. It was during the famous potato famine, when the squirrels had stolen all the potatoes and were holding them for ransom. The farmers were in the outmost throes of desperation, and turned to the local witch, Eleanor The Witch. Whomst was very public about her witchery because she refused to let the menfolk repress her with their sinful patriarchy and misogyny.. And so
*Lasse sneaks off to bed while the ventriloquist doll has everyone’s attention*
31/10 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Bob from 2012.

1/11 2018
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there’s some relief in letting go
1/11 2018
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Hedge-crew on patrol

1/11 2018
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goatlog

1/11 2018
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Now that Halloween is ove, all you ghosts are contractually obliged to stay out of sight.
2/11 2018
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Just did the fridge run in less than 3 parsecs.
2/11 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Preben from 2012.

2/11 2018
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Good goat times today. Less windy, which made the cold less.. worse.. More… not bad.. Gooder. Words, do you write it?
Anyway, good fun with the goats. Got the kids to do a little run’n’fun. I love when they get all riled up. All I have to do is feign a step forward and then they rush ahead like it’s a race to the finish line and the winner gets a pot of peanuts. Then they’ll typically find a table or something similar to jump up on and then stand there and look at me like “What are you waiting for?!”. Uncle Turtlespeed is not so fast.
Mio isn’t so fast either, which is why I managed to get ahead of her as she went looking for the forbidden zone. It’s funny how she very clearly remembers the way up there. I could tell when she started walking around the building to the slope. I knew I had to get there first, haha. I managed to divert her, much to her chagrin. She was casting longing gazes at the passage for quite a while afterwards. Once she gets something on her mind it doesn’t change easily. Too bad uncle spoilsport was blocking her fun. Humans, nothing but trouble I tells ya.
2/11 2018
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Mio staring longingly at the passage to the forbidden zone.
I’m going to need to hire a Gandalf to stop the grandma Balrog.

2/11 2018
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I think we’re good

2/11 2018
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Kltpzyxm
2/11 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Medium from 2013.

3/11 2018
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Do you ever dream in paintings?
I did last night. I was seeing a story about a person, like watching a movie. And then suddenly it turned into paintings. Paintings being painted. You know the kind of ‘speed-drawings’ on youtube? I was seeing the painting being painted. Simple sketches and big, arty watercolours and all sorts of things and I couldn’t see anyone painting them, they just sort of painted themselves to tell the story. Fascinating.
3/11 2018
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Xenomorph omelette for dinner
3/11 2018
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I’m starving, I haven’t had anything to eat in absolutely… what? Oh, sorry. Can I borrow a napkin?

4/11 2018
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Having a drink in the hottest night club in all of Denmark, The Goat House. It has everything. Goats. More goats.
link: goat house video
4/11 2018
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I still think it’s odd to tell someone struggling with depression to not express their negative feelings. Or to not feel negative feelings about bad things happening in the world. That’s not going to make the world a better place. It would be easier to turn a blind eye to things (especially when you literally have one), but people need to be upset at upsetting things. Whether it’s stuff next door, or stuff across the world.
But I’m sad at losing someone I thought was a good friend. And I’m really sad thinking I may have been a negative factor in their life. Guess it ties into that overactive empathy thing, you start thinking about all the ways you might be making people feel bad and then you feel even worse because there’s so much bad in the world and you don’t want to be part of making the world worse for peole and
so on.
I know I am not very good at being Human Normal Person, and at socializing and being friends. Even worse lately because I’m getting into a thyrhm of sleeping for 20 hours at a time and then spending my awake time with goats or editing goat photos/videos or keeping up with other chores. I appreciate everyone who makes the effort to remain a friend, and I’m sorry to those who have felt the need to withdraw or leave for whatever reason. Maybe we’ll meet again in another life when we’re all mathematical equations performed by bone computers draped in velvet skin. I’ll be the one in the corner trying not to meet anyone’s eyes.
4/11 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone. And thank you for the support. Love you guys.

4/11 2018
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The spokesgoat would like to thank the human peoples for their kindness. You shall all be remembered when the goats form a rule under the strict hoof.

4/11 2018
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Don’t look back, I think there’s a ghost there

4/11 2018
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Everything must fall

4/11 2018
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That’s all for this week.