Honestly, if you’re offended at Michelle Wolf’s remarks and not “waves hands wildly and points everywhere* then what’s the matter with you? You elect a president who is the most crass, horrible person running on actual bullying namecalling and you’re offended at a comedian at a roast? Someone has to take the bullet when the actual president doesn’t have the guts to face mocking.
Have you seen the shit Huckabee’s dad tweets? And he’s a governor, not a comedian. Cry me a river. It was okay making fun of Spicer because he was a dude? Was it ok mocking a disabled reporter? Don’t worry so much about appearances when you’re ugly on the inside.
30/1 2018
—
.
Today will be a good day. Have a Mads Monday. Notice the sweater sleeve, all the way back from 2007.

30/4 2018
—
.
Good goat times today. Fairly grey and slightly cold morning. The sparkling spring has gone away, but at least it’s not freezing. Got the goats out grazing and browsing. Spent some time at the treeline next to the pen. Everyone enjoyed that. Including the kindergarteners beyond the fence who got to watch. One of the boys was a little frustrated that the goats didn’t want to eat the stick he was trying to give them. They were too focused on all the greenery on the branches all around them. And then we went back to the pen for some relaxing. As the weather got colder and the clouds got darker. I almost made it home before the rain and thunder started. Almost. (Said to the tune of Aliens they mostly come at night).
30/4 2018
—
.
Everyone’s all a’grazin’

30/4 2018
—
.
Outside, the thunder
link: Thunder video
30/4 2018
—
.
Just a quick thank you note to everyone who offered support and encouragement about the whole meds and moods thing. Thank you all. I feel like I’m getting worse and worse at Facebookfriendshipping, because of lack of time and energy and surplus of backlogs from the downtime and general frustration and also the fact that you humans puzzle me, as will be detailed in my next report to my Vogon overlords. I am afraid I shall have to request reinforcements if I am to make any headway into this whole “figuring out the humans” mission. Anyway, I appreciate those of you who make the effort and stick with me and all that. I hope the goat posts make up for the lack of human behaviour a little, and if you don’t like goats then… well, I’m sorry. Tomorrow is May, and you know what that means. It means you have to stop saying “I can’t believe it’s still April” as noted in section C, paragraph 8 of my last report. ALL HAIL VOGON. May the vogsphere bless us with the swift defeat of those who would oppose us. I may not understand this love thing you came up with to excuse the most silly of your behaviour, but I love you and I mean that from the bottom of the artificial heart that they installed in the used Vogon car that was modelled to resemble a human being. END TRANSMISSION.

30/4 2018
—
.
Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day, everyone.

1/5 2018
—
.
Happy First of May. Here’s a long, deep, slow hug to you all.

1/5 2018
—
.
Is anyone else getting checkboxes asking if there’s hate speech in my or Mia’s posts? I mean, I don’t really care if people think my political posts are over the line, you can unfriend me if you don’t like what I’m saying. I try to keep that stuff to a minimum, but sometimes I need to let off the steam. But I’m upset if Mia’s page gets dragged into that, there’s no hate on there. Only love and sunshine, mother#¤&Ws. Weird.
Just be aware, apparently if you’re flagging my posts you are also hurting Mia’s page. GUILT TRIP GUILT TRIP GUILT TRIP.
1/5 2018
—
.
The grass is growing. Thank goodness we have Sky here to keep it in check, otherwise we’d be overgrown in no time.

1/5 2018
—
.
Milo is also doing his part to fight this horrible grass infestation.

1/5 2018
—
.
Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

2/5 2018
—
.
A thousandful thank yous to Keiko Murakami! What a wonderful present. A beautiful book of her art. This video is just a quick flipthrough, it doesn’t come close to doing it all justice. Go to Meowkami and look at all the stuff there. Thank you, Keiko. Dropped some tears and even more smiles looking through it. There are some of them that still touch my heart in that heartbreaking yet happy way. Like a dagger made of love. Or something. I shall treasure it always. So many memories. Thank you for capturing them perfectly. You’re amazing, Keiko!
link: Keiko book
2/5 2018
—
.
Today will be a good day. Here be Herman from 2014.

3/5 2018
—
.
Feeling a bit unwell. Tired and dizzy and had to go throw up (dry run, though). Think I’ll take it easy today. As opposed to my usual fast-paced action-packed word-hyphenated lifestyle.
3/5 2018
—
.
Here’s some goatlog. I’m feeling a bit better. I’ll be just fine. Still, if you want to drop me off some ice cream just leave it outside the door and knock 3 times and run away, thanks. You’d be surprised how many delivery services don’t respect those kinds of requests.

3/5 2018
—
.
Hey kid, come in here. Everybody floats in the goat house.

3/5 2018
—
.
Heading to the bedzone. Feeling considerably better, although tired. Very tired. Don’t wake me until at least 3 of the 4 horsemen are here.
3/5 2018
—
.
Today will be a good day. Have a Fuzzy Friday, everyone.
(feeling okish, just very tired)

4/5 2018
—
.
Logged into my hotmail, because I’m so hot. Got this message about their new terms and services:
“These updates, which are summarized below, will take effect on May 1, 2018. If you continue to use our products or services on or after May 1, 2018, you are agreeing to the updated terms of the Microsoft Services Agreement”
It’s May 4th. I use hotmail every day. On May 4th they tell me that if I keep using their service after May 1st I’m agreeing to their new TOS. If that doesn’t sum up the world then I don’t know. It’s a good thing I’m too tired to get agitated. Mind you, I haven’t checked the twitter yet.
4/5 2018
—
.
Also, happy Star Wars day to everyone who likes Star Wars and therefore is on the right side of history.
Although I do question how much Star Wars needs a day now that there’s a new movie every 3 months. I’m a little burnt out on the fandom, but Star Wars will always be one of those big, fictional worlds that I could escape into when the real world was too real. And even if it all gets watered down with every new blockbuster and CGI kids show, I will still have those old Han and Lando book trilogies and the old pencil case with scenes from the rebel hangar and all that. The comic book on my first solo train ride. Dad translating Luke Skywalker’s name as we read through the Galaxy Guide book I had imported. Star Wars is an essential part of my history.
4/5 2018
—
.
One of my favourite things about goats is how they don’t get jealous at all.

4/5 2018
—
.
Today will be a good day. Here’s a fun goat scene from 2016. The Ping Pong twins and Palle and Mia, and the last one must be Fuzzy..

5/5 2018
—
.
our connection is missed

5/5 2018
—
.
I think this is still my favourite of all of Keiko’s drawings. Still gives me a teary eyed smile. Still got that pain in my heart when I let myself think of the likes of Kamel and Palle, and so on. I wish I could trade a few years off my life for some extra years for them.
link: Kamel drawing
5/5 2018
—
.
Grandma’s in the horse field.

5/5 2018
—
.
Staring at fast food menus while on a diet. Self-torture is an often neglected art form.
5/5 2018
—
.
Goat distraction

5/5 2018
—
.
Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

6/5 2018
—
.
Today is cheat day. It means I don’t have to try to pretend to be a real human. It’s my favourite day of the week.
6/5 2018
—
.
Sigh. I told myself I wouldn’t. But it’s my cheat day.
Don’t read this if you don’t want my hot take on trumpnrapoliticsetc. Nothing new here.
.
.
spoiled space
.
.
.

I didn’t listen to Donnie’s talk to the NRA, but I caught some snippets on the news. I just want to say, yes it’s possible that if France had less strict gun laws that terrorist attack might have been stopped. It’s also possible if France had less strict gun laws that their kids would be constantly slaughtered in the school yards, who knows? The idea that one of those fat old nra whites with a gun would have stopped the attack? Yeah, you’re all superheroes with your guns. You’re Lucky Lucky, you’re Clint Eastwood, you’re John Wayne. You’d single-handedly shoot down a mob of muslim terrorists. If only we had more of your kind we wouldn’t need border walls. Sheesh. The idea that an attack would be stopped just by the chance of someone inside having a gun is so stupid. I have heard the same thing about school shootings. They wouldn’t go shooting up a school if they knew someone was inside with a gun? Most of these attacks are designed to end up with the perpetrator dead. The terrorists count on it, it’s part of the narrative. Suicide attack, you know? And kids who shoot up schools, I’m pretty sure many of them are counting on not surviving either. The Columbine kids offing themselves when they’d done what they set out to do. Knowing there’s a teacher with a gun inside isn’t going to stop a fucked up kid or an insane terrorist. And then there are the good guys with guns killed by police, the good guys without guns stopping attacks.
I get that you don’t want your guns taken away, but the NRA is cancer. I guess you have to be a member if you’re pro-gun, just like you have to vote for Trump if you’re against abortion. I just really hope you realise that NRA is damaging the world and Trump is everything that’s wrong with fat old white rich people. I’m not rich or that old, but I am fat and white so I can say that. And I’m not saying that white, old, fat, rich men are the only ones doing wrong on the world, but you can’t close your eyes to how much shit they’re causing.
Also, sad to hear about Junot Diaz. Very. I have some thoughts on that shirtshow too, but I think this is enough bile for now. Please remember if you flag this as hate speech you are hurting Mia’s page GUILT TRIP GUILT TRIP GUILT TRIP
6/5 2018
—
.
Goat distraction

6/5 2018
—
.
Brb, working on the scripts for my upcoming 7 film saga about Snow White and the dwarves. Every dwarf gets a movie with a gritty, dystopian backstory. And then in the last one Snow White kills them all with the infinity gauntlet. Or something like that, i haven’t gotten that far yet.
6/5 2018
—
.
Finally caught up with The Walking Dead. It’s been a trying season. I feel like the show has a bunch of brilliant characters, but aren’t using them very well. Too many communities and people I can’t tell apart and timelines overlapping and grim stuff happening. I don’t mind the grim things, but it just all blends into one for me a lot of the time. My wish for the next season would be to zoom in on the core cast and bring a little more fun and adventure and mystery to it. The whole war against other humans, not digging it so much. I want more Jesus, and the King (and his second in command guy person), and Carol, and Daryl, Morgan if he’s not complete nuts I don’t even know. Jadis. There was one of the saviours who got caught and turned and seemed interesting. I forget his name, but his face stood out which is something I really appreciate with my face blindness. I miss being able to watch tv and recognising faces. And my memory too. I don’t know if it’s just bad memory or if the blindness pays into it too, but there are storylines they bring up and I go “I have no recollection of any of this, who even are these people?”. Ah well. Nothing will ever be as good as the Lost days. That was my prime TV experience. But I still hope TWD steps up and lives up to its potential.
Can you tell I’m back on the meds? I’m writing lots of stupid junk, you must all be so happy!
Coming up, an essay about Brøndby and how the football is going. PLEASE DO NOT BLOCK M
6/5 2018
—
.
And here’s some goat content. Goatlog from the brilliant summer’s day in April. Spoiler alert: The weather forecast says we’ll be getting more days like this.

6/5 2018
—
.
I’m reading tomorrow’s weather forecast like a frustrated housewife reading Fifty Shades of Grey. “Dang, that sounds hot. Don’t stop now”.
6/5 2018
—
.
Mio found another great hiding place. I can barely even see you under there, grandma!

6/5 2018
—
.
End of Facebook. Go go goat photos.

That’s all for this week.

Today will be a good day. Here’s a little Popcorn for you.

23/4 2018
—
.
Good goat times today. Not quite summer temperatures, but nice and sunny. Took the goats out grazing. There’s more and more grass, despite the goats’ best efforts. A big group of kids came visiting. Lots of attention was paid to the goaties. With classic remarks like “she’s definitely pregnant” and “Ew, it pooped!”.Good fun. After the big group had left, there was another woman with a couple of kids who came by and put down a blanket and had a little picnic. A PIZZA PICNIC. The music of my tribe. Also, Milo realised that pizza is the greatest thing in the world. So he kept harrassing the poor woman. Haha. I went and picked him up and carried him away. She thanked me, but as soon as I put him down he made a beeline for the picnic basket, I mean pizza box. So I went and got him again and sat down a ways away and gave him some peanuts for crunching. But again, as soon as I set him free he went looking for pizza. He’s the Lasse of goats, I think. Peanuts and pizza, and he also got some pasta. I dropped a pasta wheel while I was getting a few out for the big girls. And he snapped it up. Lots of crunching. I guess he’s ready for bigboy food. He just better not touch ma pizzah.
23/4 2018
—
.
Just because there’s a horde of adoring fans doesn’t mean you stop grazing. Priorities.

23/4 2018
—
.
Yes, extra cheese please. And charge it all to John Barron, thanks.
23/4 2018
—
.
Milo and Sky are always super popular with visitors. Perfectly kidsized goaties.

23/4 2018
—
.
St George is getting upset!
23/4 2018
—
.
Apparently it’s World Book Day, so I thought I’d mention that i’m currently reading The Long Way To A Small, Angry Planet. Enjoying it. It is extremely woke. You’d have to get up pretty early to.. get up.. before it. Okay, book reviews aren’t my strong suit. It’s more like a papermaché tuxedo. Let’s just agree to this agree.
23/4 2018
—
.
Extremely tired. To the MAX, upvote hashtag. Off for a long dreamwalk. While I’m away please enjoy this 5 hour podcast hosted by John Barron and Kanye West. It’s mostly about how to grab pussy and microphones. And don’t miss the aftershow where Alex Jones and Sean Hannity will analyse it all and sell you serpentwyne.
Great, I think I just gave myself nightmares.
23/4 2018
—
.
Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi Day, everyone.

24/4 2018
—
.
I went by the old playground again. I wanted to see if I could get the playhouse with me. Turns out I was able to get it off the ground. But also that it was too heavy for me to take with me, even with the rolling shopping thing I had with me. Oh well. We’ll see if I ever manage to ask someone to help with it. I also wanted to take a look at the Lassepladsen sign as you guys mentioned last time. I ended up deciding to leave it there. I think I would have made a mess of it, and also… that place is the Lasseplads. That’s where I sat for 10+ years, through good and bad with wonderful goats. I don’t want to take that away. I want it to stay there, not to honour myself but to honour the goats that were there with me. From the original Mads and Mathilde, to the dear souls that were lost like Kamel and Palle and to the wonderful little ones that moved on and are hopefully having great lives elsewhere now like Peanut, Popcorn, Fuzzy and the Ping Pong twins and many more. Without all them I never would have spent all those years there. And even if the place is falling apart in neglect, I still want that little corner to be mine.
It’ll just be another 8ish years until I have earned a Lassecorner at the new place!

24/4 2018
—
.
goatlog

24/4 2018
—
.
Have you guys seen my car? I could have sworn I parked it around here somewhere..

24/4 2018
—
.
Okay, I’m the goat guy. I have no knowledge of the feathery fowls. No idea what’s going on here.
…and in front of the children!
link: rooster and chicken vid
25/4 2018
—
.
Totes comfy, why do you ask?

25/4 2018
—
.
Today will be a good day. Happy hump day, guys.

25/4 2018
—
.
Believe it or not, there actually was a time when I thought I might have someone

25/4 2018
—
.
Current Mood : Vogon Poetry

25/4 2018
—
.
I got goats babe

25/4 2018
—
.
It’s not often you see a Danish name trending on twitter… The verdict in the submarine case came today. Guilty, life sentence. But they’re appealing it so it’s not over yet. What a nightmare.
25/4 2018
—
.
Happy thoughts

25/4 2018
—
.
I think it’s about time to read all 6 books in the hitchhiker trilogy again.
In fact, I’m not even sure I’ve ever read the 6th one.
It’s still a fond memory, how our school librarian introduced me to the series in the effort to get me to read something other than ghost stories. I wasn’t keen on it at first because I thought it was an actual guide book. I can still picture that little school library. I wonder if they even have it anymore. It’s probably been replaced by a 10 CD-ROM set and a latte machine kids today sheesh get off my lawn. Smoke me a salmon of doubt I’ll be back for the long dark tea-time of the soul.
25/4 2018
—
.
Time to retire, into a world of pure imagination. Or at least 75-80%. I really hate when I imagine dragons and they show up without a head, or with just one wing. Any practice makes plerfect. Perlfect. Perfecsh. Ah, close enough.
Please accept my apologies for everything, a gift basket is in the mail and we’ll all be cats.
25/4 2018
—
.
Today will be a good day. Here’s Peanut from 2015.

26/4 2018
—
.
Good goat times today. A rainy morning. Cold and rainy walk to the playground. But luckily the rain stopped when I got there and the sun came out. Good for grazing. I wouldn’t have been able to get them all out if it had been raining. A guy came by while we were out. I’m not sure if he knew me, but he knew Mia and Mio from the old place. He said he’d been out for a walk and he’d never been out so far before so he didn’t know they had moved here. That was fun. We had a bit of a talk about the goats. He also asked me if I’d ever eaten goat meat. Nope nope nope. I told him I was a vegetarian and he seemed surprised by it. Not surprised that I in particular was a vegetarian, but by the whole concept in general. “That’s something you can do?!”. I don’t know if he’d never heard of vegetarianism before, but it almost seemed like it. Then I got down on the ground and started eating grass with the goats. Just kidding. Sounded like I might see him again, I think he’ll want to visit the goats more.
Shortly after we returned to the goat pen it started raining again. And then hailing. Quite a racket on the tin roof of the goat house. I’d been waiting for a good chance sit in there and watch the rain with the goats. It did not disappoint. Very cozy and relaxing. I have noticed that Milo and especially Sky seem to roll around a little when they sit down. Haha. I love when goats start rolling over on their side, like fainting goats only not fainting. It looks like me trying to get out of bed.
26/4 2018
—
.
Out on the stage.

26/4 2018
—
.
Yo yo Mia

26/4 2018
—
.
Thoughts and prayers for Ronny Jackson. I guess he’ll have to go back to being a bogus doctor instead.
Also, according to Trump Cohen only did a tiny bit of legal stuff for him. You know what that means. FBI will have to find the lawyers that did the rest of his legal stuff and raid them too! I liked how Trump was offended that they raided the office. Yeah, they should have made an appointment and knocked politely. You’d afford the same privilege to Mexican gangbangers, I’m sure. Attorney/Crook privilege is dead, I tells ya.
Also, “If you’re feeling in the dumps, forget about the Trumps” I’ll buy all your books, Eric Idle.
Can’t wait to tune into the next state of the union address, which I’m sure will be held in the Fox & Friends green room.
That’s the politics for today. In lighter news, last night I dreamt that I was fighting nazis. But there were a lot of good people on both sides. Also, I died. The nazis killed me. It was pretty disturbing but also interesting because my conscience kept going. So I kinda got to experience dying. Maybe I was a zombie. I don’t know. Okay, you’re all dismissed. Shore leave for all.
26/4 2018
—
.
Compensation in the form of goat.

26/4 2018
—
.
Hello, I am Obese Wan Kenobi and these ARE the pizzas I am looking for.
26/4 2018
—
.
Instead of this slow decay
26/4 2018
—
.
Today will be a good day. Here’s Vanillje with Finn & Jacob from 2009.

27/4 2018
—
.
You will give me the raisins, human. ALL the raisins. Do not attempt any trickery, I am Milo, the once and future goat king and my wrath cannot DO NOT CUDDLE ME WHILE I AM GIVING THE SPEECH, HUMAN

27/4 2018
—
.
goatlog

27/4 2018
—
.
I know I’m boringly straight-edge, but honestly if the Candy Man showed up and gave me drugs I’d be really disappointed that he hadn’t given me actual candy.
27/4 2018
—
.
Gotta get that buzz

27/4 2018
—
.
It’s kind of weird when you can so deeply relate to a song about a giant self-loathing squid.://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Cv5GpF-WXE
28/4 2018
—
.
The gravitational pull of dead stars
28/4 2018
—
.
Time and tide will never care
Not so far from here to there
We just go (We just go)
So enjoy yourself, do the things that matter
Cause there isn’t time and space to do it all
Love the things you try
Drink a cocktail, wear a tie
Show a little grace if you should fall
Don’t live another day unless you make it count
There’s someone else that you’re supposed to be
Something deep inside of you
That still wants out
And shame on you if you don’t set it free

28/4 2018
—
.
It’s one of those nights, alone at the computer, darkness outside, darkness inside. One of those nights when I wish I was dead and wish I was alive. When all you can see are all the paths you didn’t take, and not the one you’re on.
CANDYMANCANDYMANCANDYMAN
28/4 2018
—
.
The voices in my head are telling me not to keep it all bottled up inside
28/4 2018
—
.
Today will be a good day. Here’s Bruce and Clark from 2014.

28/4 2018
—
.
the highs and the lows, the ebb and the flow
28/4 2018
—
.
Totes comfy, why do you ask?

28/4 2018
—
.
Current mood

28/4 2018
—
.
Out of this world, into the other. The chrome reflects my warped image, from filthy air I have descended. Going back and forth, intercourse between two worlds.
28/4 2018
—
.
Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.

29/4 2018
—
.
Mr Cutiepie reporting for duty.
I forgot to mention one thing that came up when I talked to that guy who came by and remembered the goats. You know, the guy who didn’t realise vegetarianism was a real thing. Haha. Well, he actually has (or had) goats of his own. And he bought a goat that didn’t have an ear tag. And his neighbours complained. And two weeks later the police showed up asking to see the goat. (He had given the goat back by then). So, that’s just to show that I’m not making bs up when I say the goats have to have those tags. I didn’t realise they were THAT strict about it, but it is actually a police matter apparently. I hope no one turns in Mia, the outlaw.

29/4 2018
—
.
You know, if in 2015 you had asked me to predict what Stormy Daniels and Kanye West would be hottest in the news for in 2018, I probably wouldn’t have even gotten close to anything to do with the President of the United States of America. Or who said President would be.
29/4 2018
—
.
Hey, look. We got a squatter in the goat house. A bird made a nest in there. The doors are open 24/7 since the goats still haven’t moved in for good. Works for now.

29/4 2018
—
.
goatlog

29/4 2018
—
.
Look, we got something new in the goat pen. A little platformy towery thingy. Sorry if I lost you with my technical mumbo jumbo.

29/4 2018
—
.
Happy little goat family

29/4 2018
—
.
Some scenes on the new goat tower

29/4 2018
—
.
I am lucky to have survived this long among the very dangerous goats.

29/4 2018
—
.
I don’t know if you noticed anything out of the ordinary yesterday, what with me being very ordinary always. But I kinda fell into a dark hole. As it were. I thought I could do without my meds. Because I am smarter than any doctor, I WILL FIGHT YOU. Anyway, yeah apparently that wasn’t a great idea. The darkness is always there, but I could really feel it closing in yesterday. So maybe I’ll just.. I don’t know. Listen to my doctor instead. PUT EM UP PUT EM UP. It’s lke the difference between standing on the ledge, and standing on the ledge while juggling rotten tomatoes and wearing a lindfold and also someone is trying to push you and so on and so forth.
29/4 2018
—
,
Thinking of all the great treats that can be served here.

29/4 2018
—
.
Kids approve

29/4 2018
—
.
Mia clearly enjoys my company. You should be happy I dare to hang out with you, miss Danerous Outlaw!

29/4 2018
—
.
End of Facebook. Go go goat photos.
.
..

That’s all for this week.