It’s a long way back to the light

19/11 2023
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Good goat times today. Not the weather, though. Cold, dark rainy. Boo urns. Jeanette asked me if I couldn’t do a sun dance to bring the sun out. If only. My magic mojo doesn’t seem to be working.
But it was good to be back with the goats. Got some lapgoat time with Luna. She’s getting to be too big for it soon I think. Sigh . But she’s still my lil girl. And Bella is my medium girl. And Sky is my big girl. They are a sweet little goat troop and even on gloomy days they make me happy.
Now I’m tired and cold, but I got soup cooking so that’s something.
20/11 2023
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Luna Lapgoat.

20/11 2023
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Hello, good day, hi. Checking in. I had plans for the day, but a combination of ugly depression and beautiful dreams kept me anchored in bed far longer than I should have. But oh well here we are now. The space heater is trying to revive my bones. I really wish I could just sleep until May.
21/11 2023
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Think goat thoughts. Sorry bout the bad quality, but it’s nice when you can get them all 3 in the frame. Even if there are more butts than head.

21/11 2023
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What’s so funny bout peace love and sabotage

21/11 2023
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Hi Sky.

22/11 2023
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Good goat times today. Got out and goated again, goodly. It was a tiny bit warmer today, which was nice. Less nice was the harsh storm. It was one of those hold-on-to-your-hat days. With rain too. A little sun too though. Next week… it looks like freezing.
But it’s just good to sit with the goats. We mostly sit inside now. I miss being out in the pen and on the bench and all that. But we just gotta keep our noses pointed to the dawn. Only four months till spring.
Luna had a rough day. First I accidentally locked her in the storage room. Haha. When I go in to get the goat breakfast in the room, Bella and Luna usually follow me in there. And then folllow me out when I go out and distribute the feed in their bowls. So I was puzzled when I noticed one of the three bowls was unattended. I opened the door and in the storage room was Luna. I don’t understand why they don’t make a fuzz when they get locked in there by mistake on their own. You’d think they’d complain, but it’s happened a few times and they don’t make a fuzz. Maybe it’s because they are always trying to get in there and now’s their chance to explore on their own…
Later on she got scared by the newfeathers. Turnaround from how she usually chases chickens away. We were down by the fence, socializing with visitors. And I guess the newfeathers saw their chance to go in the goathouse and look around without interruption. So when me and the goats went back to the goat house suddenly a bunch of flappy feathers came running out and freaked out Luna who promptly ran back down the hill rowards the fence. I guess I’d be scared too if I came home and opened my door and someone unexpectedly came out towards.
That’s enough yapping for now, time for souping.
23/11 2023
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Happy Thanksgiving from me and the goat crew and the feather troop. I am thankful for all the good people on here. I appreciate you all, thank you for helping me with the struggles.

23/11 2023
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Just chicken in.
Henrietta is enjoyinga goatsized breakfast serving.
Something to be unthankful for happened yesterday. My camera broke. It’s getting the lens error that has happened to other cameras. But those were because the camera fell on the ground. This time it didn’t fall. It just won’t turn on now. I had it out on the tripod a little when it was raining a tiny bit. I wonder if that’s the cause. I have put it in a bag with those drying gel things. Don’t think it will help. I do have other cameras, but they have focussing issues. I think I will actually have to buy a new one. And it’s virtually impossible to get the model I use anymore. So that’s a bummer. I will have to get a newer model that’s more expensive and lacks some of the features I want. Boo urns. Well, I must remember I’m an over priviliged sob, still lots of things to be thankful for. This is fine.

24/11 2023
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Sweet Bella. She’s been getting a lot of belly rubs lately. Because I’m sitting inside on the yellow chair, she’ll get up on one of the tubs on the floor and then she gets up with her front legs on my legs, and I can’t resist giving her a good belly rub. She does it pretty much every day now, I’m not sure if it’s because she wants belly rubs or if it’s just because she wants to poke and prod the human pinata in the hopes of treats falling out. It’s very cute anyway. She has also a couple of times made a sneak attack all the way up and standing in my lap, something that Luna used to do a lot but hasn’t been doing mcuh lately. Sometimes habits and dynamics change a bit when we’re sitting indoors in a smaller space so much.

24/11 2023
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Do you ever think about how every website you visit starts with WWW which means World Wide Web, isn’t it kinda cute that every site you go to sounds like something from 1997’s idea of the internet? It’s like grandpa trying to use a cell phone as a rotary phone or something. Do people born in this milleniaum even know what aw ord wide web is, if you’re 20 do you even know what a www is? Do people even know that there was a time when everything was not online, what even is an online, how can you talk on the phone and be on the internet at the same time GEOCITIES am I right?!
hashtag signmyguestbook dot sitemeter do you have an the email?
25/11 2023
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Oh oh oh oh. I reminded Melanie that she had a diaryland which reminded me that I have a diaryland so I went to look at my diaryland but it was still just an error page but then I tried logging in and my password worked and I added an entry to my diaryland and adding a new entry seems to have brought the entire diary back online so the long of the short is, I am back on diaryland.
Some of my best friends are still people I met on diaryland like.. 20 years ago. On diaryland you are hidden behind a username and stuff, but I still feel like you got to know people in a much realer way than on Facebook these days. No offense, I love my Facebook friends. You mean a lot to me. But things are just different. Back then it was like really being able to read people’s diaries, follow their lives. Intimate and personal, if they let you. On Facebook it’s so many memes and photos and news and the world is a dystopian future and everyone is grownup and guarded and have families and friends-only and so on. Back then it was like were a bunch of kids and you were all in it together.
Or maybe that’s just the nostalgia talking. Everything was always better in the past, and you can’t disprove FACTS.
Anyway, I’ll stop rambling. I don’t know if I should be happy or scared that I brought my diaryland back to life. Some things should stay buried! Maybe there’s a reason everything is friends-only and guarded these days. Except my facebook is all public anyway, so..
PS I Slept too much today and I am still sad and tired, I remain ever a moody depressed layabout teenager hooray.
25/11 2023
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Here’s a little Luna to keep things on goat topic.

25/11 2023
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Checking in, featuring Bella and Sky. Maybe Luna is hiding under one of the tubs, don’t ask me.

26/11 2023
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Torgo say, weather forecast no look good. Braze for impact.
We’re gonna need a bigger soup pot.
26/11 2023
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“Does this exoskelton make me look fat?”
– Skynet, after becoming self-aware.
26/11 2023
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That’s all for now.

Good goat times today. I managed to get out and get going, despite not feeling well. But I just had to see the goats again. And it was so good to spend time with them again. Even though I feel like heck now.
They seemed happy to see me. It was nice to see Jeanette again too. She told me the goats had missed me. Bleating after me when they saw her out doing her chores. Sweeties.
They are growing their winter furs. It’s getting cold now, almost freezing. Jeanette told me she finds all three of them huddled up together when she gets there in the morning. I am glad they are close like that.
I didn’t do too much today, just sat around with the goats. Enjoyed their company. We had some groups of visitors and it was just good to feel somewhat normal for a bit.
Feeling weak and in pain now. My back has been hurting more and more, and that actually started before last week’s incident. Horrendous pain when I got home today. Along with the ribs and legs and general just ugh. I’m definitely not back to full strength, whatever that is. Need some soup intake now. And a couple of days sleep.
13/11 2023
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Good to be back where my heart belongs, even if I’m feeling crummy. One day a day, bleat bleat.

13/11 2023
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This is the line for Taylor Swift ticket,s right?!

13/11 2023
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Hello goodmorning hello. I am tired, so very tired. Reset the alarm clock a couple of times. I think I’m up now. More or less. Yesterday drained me. I’m going to have to do a lot of nothing today.
14/11 2023
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Jeanette was bringing fresh water to fill up the goats’ buckets, but Bella decided that she might as well get it straight from the source. I have done the exact same thing as Jeanette there before, if the goat wants to drink you just stand there holding the bucket until it’s done. The goats are in charge, we’re just following orders.

14/11 2023
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goatlog

15/11 2023
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How have I been feeling todaY? Well, I feel like physically I’m getting stronger. Although my rib is hurting more. But it’s not hurting too bad. Mentally, not feeling so great. Tired and sad. But trying to just keep my eyeson the horizon. Keep on chasing butterflies. Goats and soup ahead, ay ay capn chrunchit.
15/11 2023
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Good goat times today. Managed to drag myself out again. I’m really not feeling all that great, but I can’t allow myself to just sink deeper into the hole, then I might never get back out. So fake it till you break it, or whatever the saying goes.
And it is always good to spend time with the goats. And Jeanette and Jesper. Mentally it is still where I feel best.
Although I did get the wind knocked out of me. I was sitting down after having handed out some apples and then Bella butted her head into Luna’s side, pushing her into me. Right in the hurting ribs. Ouchhie. That wasn’t too fun. Other than that it was just a nice quiet time. Rained overnight, but stayed mostly dry while I was out. My eye hurt as I walked there with a freezing wind into my face. I’ll have to drag out mama’s sweater and scarf and skull cap soon. The cold and dark and pains is not exactly doing wonders for me. But the goats are.
And soup helps too.
16/11 2023
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The butthead kids, taking a break from ramming my ribs. Bella is still biggest, but Luna is getting big. I feel like she grew out of being a baby while I was gone a few days. Quit it! Stay small!

16/11 2023
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“As always, your friend will know if you’ve seen their Stories in your feed”
uh ok, I hope my friends know I’m blind and stories and reels works like ash for me if at all.
Also, why has facebox started showing just first names when showing who’s liked stuff, I mean I love you guys but I’m used to seeing full names it’s just weird seeing people’s first names. And hey facebox if you want me to pay for premium fb then how about you fix the site, fix the bugs, fix the notifications. Maybe if you stopped making everything worse constantly it’d actually be wort a cent.
Nice to have some B & M again.
16/11 2023
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Behind bars. I think it’s Luna.

17/11 2023
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Hello good day hello. Checking in. Hasn’t gone so well today. I had planned to get up and do some light exercising to keep the blood flowing. Instead I crashed and never got out of bed, 16ish hours. In and out of sleep. Good dreams, but not a smart choice. Depression like a blanket weighing me down and keeping me in place. But I’m up now, I hope. I think i’ll cook up some soup and take it from there. Happy weekend hoorday.
18/11 2023
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The best thing is when you get a piece of potato and a piece of carrot and a flourball together on the spoon with the soup, I like it I like it a lot.
18/11 2023
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goatlog

19/11 2023
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Hi! Have you missed hearing me cry out in pain? Well, I’ve got the video for you!
Haha. It’s not that bad. But I was editing footage from the week and came across the incident when Bella headbutted Luna into my bruised ribs. It’s not as bad as some of the previous pained videos. Feel free to laugh! Laugh at my pain! Haha! Hooray.
19/11 2023
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That’s all for now.