So, I realize that I post a lot of pictures from the playground. And I’m worried that people might be getting bored with them.

I figured I would spice things up a little. For inspiration I looked at the telly. Discovery and Animal Planet. And the lesson I have learned is this: drama sells. Nobody wants to see pets and fluffy things. Nobody wants to see goats looking peaceful. No, we want drama! Action! Sushi! Murder! Blood! We want Shark Attacks and The World’s Deadliest Leopards.

So with that in mind I thought I would show you some pictures from my dramatic visit to the playground today.

It started with the normally so friendly Magnethe.

Look at her. She’s obviously agitated. “If you mess with me I’ll chew you up like I’m chewing this branch” she seems to be thinking. Why was she so upset with me? Because I had captured her dramatic behaviour on camera, that’s why.

First attacking a perfectly innocent rock.

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I haven’t seen a rock so well and truly beaten since The Scorpion King.

But why was Magnethe being so dramatically violent? Could it be drugs? The answer quickly came.

Only a dramatically drug addicted animal would roll around so crazily on the ground. And the drug problem didn’t stop with poor Magnethe.

What exactly is Mathilde sniffing at there? Her secret stash of course. The effect soon showed itself.

If that’s not one dramatically drugged up goat then I don’t know what is.

Surprisingly Mads wasn’t doing drugs, it seemed. But he was of course dramatically violent.

Once again a poor innocent rock was the target of the goats’ abuse. Was I being witness to the racial persecution of the rocks? Did the goats systematically harass these poor innocent rocks?

It’s hard to tell. Because no one is safe from the goats.

Even the sheeps are in constant danger.

A crazed Magnethe is dropping whoopass on White. Soon Mathilde came to the scene. To stop the violence?

No!

Mathilde joined in the dramatic violence. I am only surprised that the pristine white wool of the poor sheep is not yet painted red by the enormous amounts of blood that the goats were obviously trying to spill.

I think I’m going to stop here. I am sure you are all too shocked. Sick to your stomachs. No more drugs, no more violence. Enough. Only animals could be this vicious. And dramatic. You wouldn’t see humans in acts of depravity like these.

Finally, I would hereby like to give Hans Island to the Canadians. Not to avoid war. Not because Hans island is a craphole. No, just because I’m nice.

The animals have much to learn from us.

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