Baby Got Back
Meanwhile, in Coca Cola company headquarters inernational:
– Sir, sir!
– What is it, Jeffrey?
– Dire news from our division in Denmark, sir!
– Well, what is it George? Spit it out!
– Sales of Coca Cola has plummeted in Denmark, sir! We can find no rational explanation for this phenomenon!
– Oh my god! That’s horrible news, Casper. Will we have to close our branch in Denmark, Philip?
– No, sir. I don’t think that will be necessary. Around the same time that sales of Coca Cola plummeted we saw a marked increase in the sales of Coca Cola Zero. So we should be alrite.
– Thank god for that, Paul. Thank god.
Haha. You see what I did there? I made a funny. I tried anyway. I should be a writer for SNL. No, wait. A HEAD writer.
Except it’s not totally accurate of course. Even though I switched from Coke to Zero, I’m also buying a lot less. So I think Coca Cola DK will probably still have to be terminated. It’s a hardknock life in modern business.
I really can feel a big difference in my shopping trips. I don’t have to bring my rollerbag thingie anymore, because I’m not lugging home bottle after bottle of soda. And I’m not bringing empty bottle after bottle either. And when I walk down the aisles I really notice the sugar. The sugar. All the frigging sugar. Have you ever noticed how much candy there is in a supermarket? Probably not. You don’t really notice until YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY. Row after row of forbidden pleasure.
Another change: I don’t stop in the bakery when I’m done shopping anymore. I would almost always stop there and get a slush ice. Then I’d chug on that on my way home. And when I got home I’d use the glass of slushice to drink soda from. Fill the remaining slush with soda. A deliciously, cold treat. No more of that.
I have less change in my wallet too. Because I buy less stuff.
And of course I no longer walk through the soda aisle. That was always my end destination when I did shopping. Right before the cash register. Sometimes I still find myself wandering there just out of old habit. Then I realize I don’t need to buy any soda at all. I’m just so used to walking that path.
But a change for the better of course. It is funny how diabetes has kicked me to do some things I had been planning to do all along. Before the diabetes I did plan to switcn to sugar free soda. I clearly remember on two occasions just before I got diagnosed I bought a Coca Cola Zero can and enjoyed it a whole lot and thought to myself “I should switch to this, imagine how much less sugar I’d be intaking”. I have previously considered doing this switch. Now I am forced to do it. And the greens. The vegetables. When I moved out on my own I wanted to eat healthier. Now I had full control of the kitchen and the shopping and all that. I wanted to eat more vegetables. And I did, for a while. But then sort of fell back into the easier swing of unhealthy things. But now I have to stick with the veggies and the more varied diet.
And of course the exercise bike. Ever since I stopped working out at the Reva center I had thought about getting my own bike. Especially after moving into my own apartment. But it cost money, and there wasn’t much space and I’m lazy and so on and so forth. I’ve been thinking about it more or less for years. But now it’s done. So diabetes has certainly given me a kick in the butt and gotten me to make some changes. Changes that I have wanted to make but not had that “life or death” motivation to go through with.
I just hope I can stick to it all.
Yesterday I did another 4 kilometres on the bike. Because I go fairly slow most of the time that still takes me a while. I wanted to keep going but when I hit 4 I felt done. Not so much my legs. They had gotten their second wind. But my butt. Yes. My butt was sore. I sit around in front of the computer and TV a lot, so I actually get a sore butt often. Stop sniggering in the back row! Sitting on an exercise bike is hard for the butt too. I wonder if there are warmup exercises for the butt?
I will stop talking about my butt now.
No, really. Stop begging me. That’s enough about the butt.
In fact that’s all for now. The pictures will have to wait for tomorrow.
No, THEY’RE NOT PICTURES OF MY BUTT! Geez. You guys have a one-track mind.
December 6th, 2008 at 3:04
Well I hope you’re wearing PANTS when you send the picture! This is a “G” rated blog, isn’t it? hee, hee
Geez, and here I thought I was “your kick in the butt”. I’ve been replaced by a disease!
That was funny in your previous blog about needing a washer. I could just hear you calling the exercise bike people and having them send over a dishwasher to go with your bike.
And you would want to know when he was coming, if his name was Mike, and did he wash the bike after you were finished riding it! hee, hee
December 7th, 2008 at 0:13
Debster – Hah, I thought you wre asking if I wore pants when riding my exercise bike. Now that’s a nice mental image. Naked Plume on exercise bike. Oh dear.
No one could ever replace the debster! Don’t be silly. All the diseases in the world aren’t half as effective as you!
“I don’t need a mechanic, I need a PLUMBER!”