Kept Us Awake With False Teeth
I was just going to write about how the blog seemed to be back and running normally, and then it goes down again. Whoops. But at least this time it was a shorter outage and there was no data loss. So fingers crossed that it will run shmoothly now.
What else is going? Did I mention that the hospital referred me to the “sight central” place? They have called me up and we now have an appointment on Monday. One of their workers will come to my apartment and have a chitchat. To see if there is anything they can do to help me deal with my new situation. And by “new situation” I mean the fact that I am going blind. In case you were wondering. We’ll see what they have to offer. I might talk to them about getting temporary glasses while the oil is in my eyes. But at this point I figure it might be easier to just go without glasses until they remove the oils. It should only be another 3-4 months I think. And I guess I’m coping ok. As well as can be expected for someone who can hardly see anything. I can get through the coming months ok. And then hopefully the doctors will take the oil out and I’ll get glasses and then I’ll be able to see. See a little more, at least. At least I hope so. That would be nice. As long as it doesn’t get worse. As long as I don’t go completely blind.
Perhaps I’m going to get a cane. You know, like proper blind people have. I’m not sure I could get myself to use it outside though. I don’t want to attract attention. And I’d also feel a little like a fraud, because, you know, I’m not completely blind. I’m worried people will think I’m blind and then find out I can see a little and then beat me up for pretending to be blind. No no, I now that’s silly. I have just spent my entire life trying to blend into the crowd and not be noticed. I don’t want to stand out. IT’s the same thing with the sun glasses. I mentioned that I had gotten sun glasses to help me against the sight-destruction that the sun does, right? It’s not easy to put on sun glasses either, because I feel like only cool people wear sun glasses. Or people who think they are cool. I’m not cool, and I don’t think I’m cool. I feel like a fraud. But I do need them when the sun shines, otherwise I can’t see antything at all.
What else? I went to the doctor yesterday. My private doc. We decided to get my feet checked out after all. The doc said that they looked okay. But the pulse was a little weak. Especially in the right foot. But we knew that already, decreased sensitivity and blodflow. Nothing new. He gave me a referral to a foot therapist, so I’m going there in a couple of weeks. Let them take care of my feet. It’s not something I’m too happy about. New places and people and all. But these days my social phobia isn’t my biggest worry of course. I don’t want to end up without eyes and feet in 6 months. That would be a drag.
After the visit to the doctor I went to the playground. And said hello to the goats. They seemed to recognise me even though I’m not wearing glasses anymore. They were happy to see me and I to see them. They are one of the few really good things left in my life. Always manage to make me feel happy and carefree, for a little while. Just sitting there on the bench with them grassing around me, coming over for treats and scratches every now and then. That is time well spent.
I don’t even bring my camera anymore. In case you were wondering why I’m no longer posting thousands of goat pictures and videos. I just can’t opeperate the camera very well anymore. Let alone get decent shots. And getting them online and all. Perhaps when I get my glasses eventually, I’ll be able to post some good goatiness. I’m sure you miss being spammed with the same 3 basic shots of Magnethe. I know I do.
In other news, I have had warm supper for two days straight. How can that be when I am almost unable to cook for myself, you may ask? It is because my dad found a local place, a sort of community center thing I think, where they cook for the locals. And where you can take food out. And my dad has brought me food from there. Chicken yesterday and ham today. It’s not amazing food, but it’s warm and varied with vegetables and such. It’s healthier than what I am able to make for myself. And it just goes to show how big a help my dad is, how much he is willing to do for me. Getting food and bringing it to me. It’s not going to be every day. Because I am notoriously picky and afraid of onions and all. But 1-2-3 times a week. Much better than ordering junk food or just getting cold bread. Very nice.
Did I mention that I have started using my exercise bike again? A few weeks since the last eye surgery now, so it should be safe. Just a slow, steady rythm to get back on track. Help get the blood flowing again now that I can’t go out as much, at least not on my own.
I think that is about all for now. I’m glad the blog is back. I felt cut off from the world while it was down. And by the world I mean you guys who read and comment. I’m so used to writing down my thoughts and getting a little social interaction though the blog. It was odd not having that. Good to have it back. Everything’s not lost.
August 19th, 2009 at 0:31
Hay, hay! The “sight central” people should be able to give you tips on staying independent and in your own apartment.
How to get around outside with a cane, how to cook safely, how to keep your money so you know what you have in your wallet, how to get signed up for “talking books”, how to eat properly with a knife and fork . . . I’m sure they can give you all kinds of help.
You just have to be will to ask and try things out. I know it’s hard for you. Very hard. But if this would make the difference for you as far as staying independent, I think it is worth it.
As far as the cane and sunglasses – unless you are wearing giant sunglasses ala Elton John style and walking with a blue neon light flashing cane, I don’t think anyone will look twice at you.
And even if they do, so what? You won’t be aware of them looking anyway. People aren’t going to say: “Just how much can you see?” “I don’t believe you are really blind”.
You don’t have to prove anything to them. Your vision is truly impaired as to what it was before. That’s enough to count.
August 19th, 2009 at 12:35
You are typing very accurately for a blind man, my dear Plumester
August 19th, 2009 at 16:01
You know, my dad has a touch of social phoia as well, and when he was (almost literally) forced by his doctor to go to a footcare-session because of some stubborn problems, he dreaded it for days. But he discovered that it wasn’t bad at all-the people are very professional,so it’s not embarrasing or anything. At least that was his experience :)
About the “sight central” people, see them as a valuable resource, ask about averything you can think of. Tell them how much you use the computer, and ask if they have suggetsions for enabling you to continue to do so. Also, aska about the stuff debster talks about. Good luck!
August 20th, 2009 at 3:31
Frankie got his head stuck through the gate again tonight. I had gone out to eat and when I got home, I heard him crying. Stupid donkey was kicking him. I got his head out, pushed the donkey away about a million times and let the goats out of the pen.
I didn’t have anything to fix the gate, so I duct taped the hole so he couldn’t do it again until we fix it right. (Hopefully chewing through duct tape will take them awhile) ha, ha
August 20th, 2009 at 9:20
Hey plume, -about the cane thing. One of my good friends from college is blind. She was dating a guy whom had a cane but wasn’t completely blind. He had no peripheral vision & was going blind & still used the cane to get around. The point being, no one is going to judge you for how well you can see or not see . To be deemed “legally blind”, one need not be completely blind. Or something like that. This is from the National Federation of the Blind’s website — http://www.nfb.or/nfb/Legally_Blind_Definition.asp?SnID=2
Hopefully your sight gets better with the glasses & everything in a few months -but until then, don’t worry about doing what you need to do to get by. ::Hugs:: Glad your blog is back. Good luck with the shopping, talk to you later – trace
August 20th, 2009 at 19:20
Debster – Yup, they should be able to help me with things like that indeed. That is what they do. As far as I now. We’ll see how it goes. I guess it will be good to talk to someone who is used to dealing with these kind of things.
The sunglasses are actually kinda big.. but I doubt Elton John would take them anyway. You’re right of course. It’s more about my own feelings than about what others will thin. But I don’t have any choice anyway. Just gotta get over myself.
Poor Frankie! And what a bully Snickers can be. Maybe they need some couple’s therapy. Not that they are a couple like that. Maybe some.. family therapy? Some goat-donkey therapy.
Ann T. Krist – Thank you. I do my best. I am a quite good typist, as long as I don’t type too fast. Which I usually do. But now that I no longer can really do the same amount of spell checking, I just have to type a little slower and hope there aren’t too many typos. There are more important things in the world anyway. Typos won’t kill you.
Katrine – Yes, I’m sure they’re very nice people. They’re there to help anyway, just like the sightcentral people. Just gotta open up and accept the help, then it’s all for the better. It’ll be just fine.
Traci – Yeah, I know. Actually I’m pretty sure I qualify as legally blind. In fact I am in the process of joining the Danish blind society these days. Although that’s not just for blind people, but also just visually impaired. In any case, I’m sure the cane would be a good idea. Mostly in fact just to let others know that I don’t see very well. So they know to show consideration of that. And also to help me not fall over things, I guess. Just gotta get over my own insecurities about it all.