Yesterday I returned my new computer. So I am writing this on my good, old 32bit computer. It may be old but… actually it’s not that old. It’s still a decent computer. It will do me fine for now.

My dad came yesterday morning and picked up the new computer. Along with his friend Oluf. Oluf has a car and he’s nice enough to help us out at times. We haven’t had a car since… I’m tempted to say since I was a kid, but that might be an exaggeration. But it certainly is many years ago that we sold it. It’s nice to know someone with a car for those special occasions. Oluf helped us when I moved out too. I didn’t really have any furniture so we were able to move my stuff with a couple of trips in a regular car.

But I digress. So the computer is off now. And I’m waiting to hear back about it. I’m hoping to get a refund so I can buy another one, or alternatively have some changes made to it. Either way I’m probably going to end up paying some monies for it. We’ll see how it goes. I’ve had so much trouble with that computer. But most of it has been partially self-made. With software problems and bad planning. Oh well. Hopefully it will be over now and come to a satisfying end.

Because I had to ship the computer out yesterday I wasn’t able to get online before 10.25 am. Which cost me concert tickets to the Smashing Pumpkins. I think they went onsale at 10am. So that went fast. Too bad. It may just possibly have been my last chance to ever see them live. There’s no guarantee that they’ll ever come back to Denmark. Or that I’ll be able to go if they do.

In case you don’t know, The Smashing Pumpkins is my favourite band of all time. I have been a fan since the early 90s. It’s a cliché, but I don’t know if I’d be alive without them. And I met so many wonderful people through them. My ex-girlfriend Skye amongst them. I have listened to their music for countless hours. Downloaded gigabyte after gigabyte of live shows. Message boards and forums and napster and nspaa. I even had my own MP3 site and almost got sued for it. Remember that, kids?

When they broke up in 2000 I figured I’d never get to see them live. My phobia had kept me from going to shows. And then when they reunited I went blind and was unable to go to shows. Now I have enough vision back that I felt it might be possible to at least try. I talked to my dad about it and he was going to come with me and help. Maybe next time.

I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me that’s relieved. Because with the blindness and phobia it would have been hard to travel to Copenhagen and deal with all the people and everything. It’s a big scary thing, but I had resolved to try it. So it’s too bad. If circumstances were different I would have tried to go to Germany or Sweden or Norway to see them. But I can’t do that now, that would be too much to handle.

I haven’t been to any concerts since losing my eyesight. Apart from the downtown open-air Tina Dickow one. But that doesn’t quite count. That was a 10 minute bus ride to a place I’d been hundreds of times and no tickets or seats or anything. If only the Pumpkins were that easy.

No point crying over Spilled Milk.

Today I went up and spent some good time with the goats. There were a lot of kids up there, and as always it was a joy to see all the fun and excitement. From both the kids and the goats. Getting to help the kids have good experiences with the goats is a privilege.

And have I mentioned how much I appreciate that Bob is staying at the playground? He is such a beautiful little guy. Getting bigger. But still small enough to sit in my lap. Although he doesn’t really like that, he wants to jump straight up and run around. Today I figured out that if I put him in my lap and take a hold of his hind hoof and scratch it then he stays put. If you find a goat’s sweet spot then they enjoy the scratching so much that they can’t really concentrate on anything else. Even escaping.

And I’m really happy that I get to see him grow up. His face is so pretty. The colour. I love it. And it’s the first time I will get to see a boy goat grow up. Usually we only get to keep girls. But Bob is special. I’m looking forward to seeing if he will take charge when he gets bigger. You’d think Magnethe could keep control of things, because she’s so big and strong. I think it will be a long time before Bob will get to that size. But I think the male dominance will kick in. When Mads was still around Magnethe didn’t really challenge him. Even when it got to the point that she was actually bigger and stronger. Mads was still the dominant one. I hope Bob will become a good head of the herd. Although I have a feeling Magnethe won’t be too pleased. She’s so used to bossing everyone around.

Her temper has been better lately, though. She’ll still react if there are too many loud kids around her. But she hasn’t been objecting to me scratching her all around her body anymore. She seems a little calmer now. So that’s good. We still have very good times together. I like it when everything’s calm and quiet and the goats are just chilling and settle in close to me and chew their cud and stare off in the distance and get cuddly and the birds sing and time slows down in the sunshine. I do love the energy and deviousness and panicked rush that goats provide. But sometimes a little zen is not to be sneezed at.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 6th, 2011 at 23:00 and is filed under Blogging. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.