Camera Falls
Don’t. Don’t read this if you don’t want political garbage and liberal snowflakism. It’s not worthi t man, it’s not worth. Game over, man.
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What are the odds that the State Of The Union will mention Jay-Z or Scott Baio? And is he going to end it with “GO ON FIRE YOUR NUKES I DARE YOU”.
Sharp political satire, I know. Anyway just a reminder. He bragged about cheating on one wife that was pregnant and allegedly he cheated on another wife that had just given birth and he bragged about crashing into teen girl pageant changing rooms and everyone in his employ is using unsecured devices and personal email accounts and also they colluded with Russia, so hey don’t be mad at me. Hashtag fakenews liberal snowflake lamestream sodastream buttercup bangers in the mash.
Can you imagine a hundred years from now, what our history books will be like? The curriculum will include a pornhub search for the word Stormy and an explanation for why the president was quicker to go against a black rapper than against people marching under swastikas.
Also religion class will be funny now that we have to adapt to evangelicals being totally okay with *lists all the things* as long as *lists all the excuses*. And Jesus fist bumped his disciples and said “Party on, Wayne” and they did respond “party on, Garth” and they did kneel before the wax figure and said unto it “we are not worthy”
Anyway, happy Sunday. I hope you had fun in church and that you priest had an assault rifle just in case.
Standard disclaimer: Feel free to unfriend, unfollow, mute, abuse, make voodoo dolls of etc. I’m just a guy from that country next to Shithole Norway. Now let’s go riot for some free nutella. Before it sells out for all the presidents who will use it to go blackface for black history month.
Okay, I’m done. I’ll just clean up this vomit and be on my way.
28/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. This is baby 3B from 2006.
29/1 2018
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Good goat times today. Rainy day with a harsh wind. No weather for goats, so most of the day was spent inside. Unfortunately I had a camera accident. Called Mio. She knocked my tripod over. Smashed my camera in the ground. I’ve looked at some of my files and a lot of them are out of focus. It seems my camera can’t focus anymore unless I’m using the zoom. Pity. I don’t know how much of the video will be salvageable, but I think I lost a lot of cute stuff. Sigh. I need goat insurance.
Oh well. Here are some of the cute scenes you may or may not see on video eventually. The newbies trying to mug Alice when she was feeding the horses. They’ve learnt well from the old goats. And they’re such cute, little beggars that it’s impossible not to give them a little. I know they need to lose a little weight, but they are so damn cute with their chubby selves. You can really feel it when you pick them up. They’re like little soccerballs with legs. Looks very cute when they wobble away from Mia and Mio. I had them all out together in the barn. It went ok. But they are very much in two groups.
I am pretty sure that I caught Shadow grooming Mia’s back. Haha. I hope the video turned out useable. That looked amusing. Also pretty sure that we are seeing a change in command coming. Mio isn’t able to dominate Mia quite so much anymore it seems. Almost no growling over the food buckets, and Mia not backing off. We’ll see-
Later on we did go outside for a bit. And got company from the chickens. Which lead to some funny moments as Mia and Mio gave them the death stare as they approached. And even attempted headbutts. But the feathery fowl are too slippery for old grandma.
I think that’s all I can remember right now. I arm very tiredd.
29/1 2018
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Sigh. That was a nice camera I used to have.
29/1 2018
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At least the photos were I was using zoom focussed a little better. I’m afraid most of the video is probably going to be trash, though. Too tired to look at it now. Here’s the death stare. If goats had laser eyes we’d be serving fried chicken.
29/1 2018
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Lodne rumper?
I don’t even
29/1 2018
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Alright, now I can’t tell the difference between blurry photos and blurry reality. Better turn off the screen and turn off the eyes. Early to bed. Hoping it will give me some lucid dreams. Send me lucid waves. And if you can find the weak spot between worlds then knock it down and come join me.
29/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Yogi day.
30/1 2018
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Premium bonus behind-the-scenes content. Sille the horse watching as I prepare to film with Milo. This was before the tripod fell, so it’s fairly in focus, if dark.
link: Sille video
30/1 2018
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goatlog
30/1 2018
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A little blurry, but still cute.
30/1 2018
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I dreamt the words “Meadow’s Edge” last night, and I had to google them to find out where I knew them from.
30/1 2018
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One of these things is exactly like the others
30/1 2018
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So, will American taxpayers have to start paying for Melania living in New York again? A stormy relationship…
31/1 2018
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Guys, please no spoilers. I’m DVRing it, so don’t tell me what the state of the union is.
31/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here I am hanging out with Mandela. That’s.. probably not something I’m going to get to say very often.
31/1 2018
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Please do not read this if you like Donald Trump or don’t want to hear about politics or can’t abide swearing or if you want to make liberal snowflakes cry or if I owe you money, I told you I’m good for it just back off ok?
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Sigh
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You know. I kinda wish Trump would just be honest and admit everything’s not perfect. He’s not perfect. That he knows. And he’s new at this but he’s willing to work to get better and make things better. Instead of all this bullshit he spouts. I mean, the first rule of lying is that you should at least attempt to make the lies somewhat plausible. Instead of claiming to be the best at everything, that everything is perfect. Not that he’s not racist, but that he’s the LEAST racist you’ll ever see. That he could live to 200 if he stopped eat cheeseburgers. That no other presidency has established this and that. Come on. Even if you’re a Trump supporter and you think he’s a good president, do you really think he’s the best? Ever? That there are no problems (for anyone, I mean he’s hte president of the people who voted for Hillary too right). Do you really think EVERY bad story is fake news? Do you really think Ted Cruz’s father was invovled with the JFK assassination? Do you really think he never said that thing that’s still clearly written on his twitter timeline? Do you really think the inauguration crowds were the biggest ever? That he actually won the popular vote? Maybe you believe some of it. But ALL of it? I’d respect him more if he would just be honest. I mean fuck it he tried to pass off that it wasn’t actually him saying that stuff about grabbing pussy. Is anyone stupid enough to buy that?
Congress overwhelmingly votes ro sanctions on Russia, Trump refuses to enact them. Do you think that is fake news? Can you explain it to me? If congress voted to sanction shithole countries would he refuse to enact those too? He talked about hurricanes on the same day that fema announced they’re cutting food and aid to Puerto Rico. is that ok? Is that fake news? Is Puerto Rico a shithole that doesn’t deserve aid?
Not to repeat myself, not to repeat myself. Trump bragged about cheating on one pregnant wife and allegedly cheated on another that had just given birth. Melania didn’t arrive with Donald today. Fake news? Is the most faithful husband you will ever see? Three corinthians walk into a bar. Sorry we don’t serve your kind here. the fbi and the press are your enemies? Immigrant terorists? You’re way more likely to be killed by white terrorists. Or 15 year old school kids. Are you going to build a wall around every school? Or just the ones in black neighbourhoods?
Donald Trump is a piece of shit. It’s not even about the politics. Even if Obama did some political things you found repugnant and that you think made life worse for you. He’s still a million times more of a good man than Trump has ever been. Put them up side by side and it would be like putting up a sack of shit in a shirt versus… a human being. Even if Obama was a muslim born in Kenya he’d still be a better president. Donald Trump started out with his father’s money and bankrupted casinos. A sleazy, biggoted racist. Another old rich white guy fucking you over while distracting you so you think the stank is coming from the shitholes. If he had still been in the entertainment business instead of in the white house he’d been thrown out of town in the MeToo movement because he is the prototype of the scumbags that are getting exposed there. Do you think Bill CLinton would have been elected president if the Lewinsky stuff had happened and been exposed before the election? Do you think the evangelicals would have forgiven his adultery? And also, if often see you guys talking about Clinton being a rapist. As far as I know Bill Clinton and Donald Trump are both alleged rapists who have both not been convicted of it. So if you’re going to call one a rapist you better call the other a rapist too. If Bill Clinton had said “FAke news” when asked about Lewinsky would you have given him a free pass? The gall of that man being accused of something and just smirking “fake news” at the cameras and walking off as if he’d just proven a point. As if that’s an argument ender. As if Harvey Weinstein could have said FAKE NEWS and walked off to keep his millions and jobs and awards and whatnots.
I didn’t watch the state of the uniom. But I’m sure he was oh so presidential. More than when he had his pants around his ankles and was being spanked by a pornstar with a magazine that had him and his kids on the cover. Fake news? Maybe. But if you’re going to believe pizzagate I’m sure as hell going to believe the peetape and the pornstar.
31/1 2018
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A memory of goats
link: baby Mia picture
31/1 2018
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On the subject of religion…
I probably shouldn’t write this haha.
Well.
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Like many others there is something in me that longs for a deeper meaning. A deeper truth, a deeper love. A higher existence. Something more, something after this. But how can I find that meaning in a religion that chooses someone Trump? Does that make sense? I really mean it. So many people on his side are religious people. I can’t help but feel that your faith is meaningless when you forsake it for power, and perceived gain. Yeah, maybe your god agrees with you about abortion and guns. Even if we say that. Don’t tell me god is ok with someone like Trump and all he has done and said. Don’t tell me that is the kind of person that gets in to heaven. Don’t tell me that he’s the kind of people you’d want to preach to your children in church. If you say so then I think you are lying or you have been seduced by the devil. There is just no way. So when you elect him then you have forsaken your love of your god, or you have been fooled by the devil. From my point of view. I am sure if you are one of the religious people (why are you reading this ?!) then you don’t agree. But from my point of view. How can I find meaning in a religion that ignores all it’s supposed to be to get the power? Ends justify the means, is that your god’s way? You’re okay with “pray the gay away” as long as it comes with “no abortions”?
I just. Don’t know. People who so quickly proclaim Islam to be a religion of war because there’s some crazy shit in their holy book while ignoring the crazy shit in their own holy book. Religion is just a means to oppress people. To shame them fro their sexuality. As if god gives a shit whether teenagers bang teenagers before they’re married. As if he gives a fuck whether you masturbate. It’s so clearly obviously something thought up by repressed people in dark ages, using god to get and maintain their power and dominion. Will their vicars fiddle the choir boys and their mistresses get abortions. Holy crusades and crucifictions. I remember as a young boy in history class hearing about how the church would sell… I forget what it was called. Deeds. Whatever. Absolution. Forgiveness for your sins. Make people believe they’re sinners and then sell them forgiveness. Buy a seat in heaven. And now megachurches that won’t shelter the needy in catastrophes. Telecasters selling seats in heaven. Buy the fucking deluxe edition of your holy book to impress the angels.
I just. shouldn’t write this. I don’t know where it’s going. It’s so sad, because religion is supposed to be this beautiful wonderful thing, instrument of good. But how can I have faith when the church backs people like Trump and Pence?
And I’m not saying the other side is better. I’m not saying I am better. I am worse than everything. I am a sinner and a heathen. But it’s ok, right? Jesus died for my sins. So I just have to be ready to repent just before my last breath. Cross my fingers hope to die. Go into the light. Torch your soul. Bla bla bla.
Yeah yeah . Now would be a good time to unfriend.
I like my religious friends (and family). I like my Republican friends. I am always surprised anyone seens anything good in me at all or want any kind of contact with me. I don’t mean to offend. I wish I could have blind faith instead of just being blind. It would be so much easier to just believe. But how can I? Maybe I should keep this struggle in my head. Post this. Delete this. Post this. Delete this. Everything is easier in the dreamworld. Everything is washed away every day and there’s no reason to believe because everything is true. Your sins are washed away every day and no one needs to die for it. Just shake the etchasketch and draw something new. Sure all men are created equal here’s the church and here’s the steeple.
Anyway. Do you have amswers to all my questions? I will pay handsomely for enlightenment.What if there’s no soul, what if we’re just bags of meat and water waiting to expire? What if this is all there is? What does the fox say?
31/1 2018
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And now a message from our sponsors: goats. Goats, when your human is malfunctioning just look at goats.
31/1 2018
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In my righteous meltdown I almost forgot what day it is. Happy hump day, guys.
31/1 2018
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It’s a good thing I’m never going to go on an airplane again, because I’d have a hard time convincing them that all 4 goats are my support animals. I mean, surely they could spare two extra seats for Mio, but the rest…?
31/1 2018
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I don’t know who arranged that blood moon, but that was a great reply to the sotu.
31/1 2018
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I’m shutting down and shutting up for today. Hope I didn’t offend too much with my posts today. I know all those goat posts get annoying! lol jk amirite.
But seriously folks. Don’t be too seriously. Don’t worry be happy. Don’t make me turn this orbit around.
Gone dreamin’
31/1 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s the fuzzmeister.
1/2 2018
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Good goat times today. Out early again, but it was already light by the time I got to the playground. The days are getting lighter. Thankfully. And the goats are as fun as ever. The newbies do their little Kamel wobble around the corner when I let them out. Straight to the food containers to hoover the floor. They look so cute there side by side, busy at work. Very intent on getting every little morsel that the humans have spilled.
Took them all out on the grass. To the delight of the kindergarteners next door. Some of them came out to join us. Petting the little ones, everyone very excited. They had some chips that the goats were very interested in. “It’s because it’s Nelly’s birthday”. Nelly, Nellie, Nalli? I’m not sure. But it was the adult that was with them. I told her happy birthday and she said “Oh thank you very much” which was nice and I only mention it because little human interactions are not trivial to me. She was very nice and seemed impressed by how cuddly the goats were. And they were all terribly impressed when Mia jumped up with her front legs on my chest and gave me a smooch. And excited that I gave them peanuts. The kids were excited that I gave the goats peanuts. Well, the goats were excited too. Good times.
And then I got Mia all riled up doing Palle jumps. Haha. I discovered just by random chance that if I picked up Milo and walked along with him in my arms then Mia would come running and jumping around me. She kept doing it too. Maybe she felt the need to impress me so I’d forget the little scene-stealer in my arms. Extremely cute.
Speaking of Milo, he’s got some voice on him. At least I think he’s the one making the long, loud baaaah when they get really needy. While Sky does a more normal bah-ah-ah-ah. They don’t like when you walk away from them. Lots of bleating. Still loving raisins a whole lot. And I gave them another few bites of pear. Plus they found an orange peel that apparently was really good to chew on.
We’re heading into a cold spell I think, but the days are getting lighter and the goats are wonderful. That should get me through.
1/2 2018
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You kids knock it off! You have no business being that cute. There oughta be a law agannit dangit!
1/2 2018
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Everyone loves those fuzzy butts.
1/2 2018
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GoatSquad
1/2 2018
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And now for something completely different. A bag of meat and water called Lasse going to bed see you tomorrow press the any key for help do no turn off your computer while we are updating the system.
1/2 2018
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Peanut.
2/2 2018
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I just saw my own shadow, that means six more slices of pizza.
2/2 2018
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So what do all you crazy climate change believers have to say now that we now the climate isn’t changing for another 6 weeks?
2/2 2018
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goatlog
2/2 2018
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“Should we make a run for it?”
2/2 2018
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Why you so fluffy?!
2/2 2018
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In this day and age the most important part of fact-checking is checking if the article is coming from The Onion or not.
2/2 2018
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I just hope no one releases that secret memo detailing how much pizza I eat. It’s very incriminating.
2/2 2018
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Well, you guys voted in the official poll and here is the winning clip. Exclusive behind-the-scenes premium bonus content. The camera falling.
link: camera fall video
2/2 2018
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In this rare deleted scene we get to hear a local scruffy looking goat herder clucking at the chickens. Unfortunately as the cameraman was drunk at the time, the footage was not in focus and was thus not featured in the final cut of Dr Dolitle.
link: clucking video
3/2 2018
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When you hold yourself to keep from falling apart
3/2 2018
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Today will be a good day. By the power of goats. Here’s Mads from 2005.
3/2 2018
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Fuzzy goat butts to keep me
3/2 2018
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In a shocking turn of events, Donald Trump proclaimed that his sotu speech was the most watched in history, and everyone rejoiced and nobody questioned it or fact checked the statement because why would you, and what even are facts anyway and I mean math is hard, right, and just look at the shiny memo, who wants to eat hooray.
Yes, I’d like fries with that nothingburger.
3/2 2018
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The Curious Case Of The Missing Piz.. oh wait, Lasse ate it.
3/2 2018
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I dare you not to smile
3/2 2018
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I am heading to The Dream Place. MyPlace. Last time I was there it was in a great city, swimmnig down flooded streets among tall skyscrapers. And yet I was also riding my bike down the streets. You neverk now when the flood comes or goes.
Thank you all for being in the real place. At least I think it’s the real one. Maybe I should build a long pole of chopsticks and poke you all with it to see if you’ll move.
Anyway, I know that this post will get the most Likes in recorded history, and there’s no reason to check that because what even are facts. Hooray.
< 3 ALL
3/2 2018
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday, guys.
4/2 2018
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And the Friendship Award goes to *points emphatically to all of you*
4/2 2018
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Today was a great sportsday because Brøndby won the soccerbowl cup match against their big rivals. I don’t know what else might be happening.
4/2 2018
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goatlog
4/2 2018
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Tiny feetsies.
4/2 2018
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Paint me like your Danish goats
4/2 2018
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End of Facebook. Go go goat photos.
That’s all for this week.