Remembermes
Good goat times today. Another cooler day, with a strong wind. Mostly grey, but some sun now and then.
Got the goats out running in the pen. Always fun when they get excited and run along. Funnily enough Sky seems to be the runniest lately, used to be the kids who’d zoom along first, but now it’s Sky getting up to speed.
We had a bunch of visitors today, not any of the regulators. Some group of kids and adults. They came in the pen and petted the goats and asked questions and everyone had a good time. I was happy to see Luna behaving herself. She had a circle of kids around her being quite handsy but no problems. I hope that she’s out of her headbutting phase. I did use the water bottle on her a couple of times about a month or two ago, maybe that set her straight. Or maybe she’s just a good girl yes.
Well, she was good to the humans.She was after the feathers today though. Normally she’ll just swing her head at them if they get too close, but today where were several times where she came running after them and sent them all afluttering. Well, better the clucks than the kids I suppose.
She gets away with it cos she’s so darn cute. Because of my bad back I’m doing some exercise that involves me laying down on the ground. That seems to trigger Luna, she’ll do her little funny bucky grunt sounds and start obsessively licking my face. She’s just a hoot.
I like how she always seems to want to sit next to me too. Sky likes being close to me when we’re active. The first thing she’ll do when she finished breakfast is walk over to me and stand next to me to get cuddles. And if I sit down on the chair she’ll come over and demand attention. But when it comes time for the goats to relax and sit for siesta, she often sits a little to herself. Not completely on her own, but she doesn’t fele the need to sit right up against me most of the time. So it’s nice that Luna wants to do that. I’m happy when I got all three of them sitting around me.
3/6 2024
—
.
A typical seating arrangement. Just imagine me sitting in the spot on the bench. Luna will usually sidle up next to me and sit down. Bella likes to sit on the tub. That used to be Sky’s favourite place, but in recent times she seems to not really like it so much. She mostly prefers to sit on the ground these days, often there on the board or a little higher on the mountain, or on the hill outside the goat place. As long as I have all three around me I am in my happy place.
3/6 2024
—
.
I dreamt that it snowed indoors.
3/6 2024
—
.
Two days till the big David Lynch announcement. I know it’s probably going to be some music / music video thing. But I’m still not going to stop hoping it’s an announcement video for Twin Peaks The Next Return.
Four seasons and a movie, come o,n Lynch mob!
3/6 2024
—
.
Immerse your soul in love.
3/6 2024
—
.
My mind is not feeling too good today.
But I got on the bike for an hour twenty and more good readings, so that’s something. One day a day. Keep circling that drain. If I go fast enough maybe I’ll reach escape velocity. Space control to Major Goat.
4/6 2024
—
.
goatlog
5/6 2024
—
.
Got on the bike for an hour twenty today. Second day biking in row. My legs are very worn now, and I can already feel the crampings sneaking. Might need some wooden legs. But another perfect blood sugar reading and a good weight drop. Ploughing on. Is that a saying? Well I said it.
Also got a Pepsi delivery today. Although funnily enugh.. no pepsi! For the first time since I started these orders. Well, part of the reason is that I still have about 15 bottles left from the last couple of deliveries. But I have gone from drinking probably 7-10 one and a half litre bootles of Pepsi Max in a week to 3 or 4. I have no idea if there is any benefit to that at all or if it’s meaningless, since I’m just drinking other sugarfree sodas instead. But hey, it’s a thing that I’m doing and it’s being done and I did and done diddily doo doo.
Keep on doing the doo.
5/6 2024
—
.
I’ll be the pillow to your weary head.
5/6 2024
—
.
Good goat times. The cooldown continues. Around 13C/55F. And the forecast for the next week+ says thes ame thing. Sigh. We got some rain today, short heavy bursts, but some sunshine too. I miss the summer in spring we had.
But the goats are good. Jeanette told me that Luna had given her a fright yesterday. She did the ‘death nap’. Lying down on her side, looking dead. I know some of you know how that goes. It has never actually scared me because when they’ve done it around me I have always been there to see them sit down and start to relax, so I know they’re just zonking out in the sun. It’s a different thing if you come walking and see them down like that I am sure. Luna didn’t react to Jeanette calling ehr at all, it wasn’t until she got into the pen and all the way over to her that Luna stirred and woked up. She’s been lying on her side more lately, I always find it very cute. And I can’t resist scratching that fuzy belly when it gets exposed.
Nice visitors today too. There was a boy who was very proud of knowing the names of the all the goats and chickens, he went around repeating the names to everyone over and over. He wasn’t a fan of all the gaots poop lying around, when he realised what it was he went GROSSSS. No Junior Keiko there!
Time for soup now.
6/6 2024
—
.
I haven’t really kept up with Batman in modern times. Question: Do they still use the Batsignal? Because it seems in our day and age when everyone has cell phones and computer, Batman could just have a burner phone that the cops could call him up on.
I’ll have to look that up never.
6/6 2024
—
.
Putting up the Sky signal.
6/6 2024
—
.
Not just goat times today, also exercise times. Got on the bike for the third day in a row. Not sure i’ve ever done that before, certainly not since restarting the exercising last year.
And it turns out that probably wasn’t the best ideay. I got about 50 minutes in, but it was rough. Didn’t help that I hadn’t slept enough last night. So that along with the goating made me very tired. And my legs very worn. At least I didn’t fall asleep and fall down from the bike. I was so tired that I did sort of half nod off several times.
Yeah, three days in a row is not a good idea. Need to give my legs more time to rest. And need to get enough sleep. Lesson learned hopefully.
In other news, unfortunately no surprise Twin Peaks announcement. As people speculated, the new David Lynch release was a music video. And it seems quite beautiful, but I just want more Twin Peaks. Or Wisteria. Or On The Air. I’m not a demanding personality type, but if you don’t meet my demands I’ll set off this dynamite which is definitely not just a sausage with a piece of string insterted in the end. KABLOOYIE.
6/6 2024
—
.
don’t poop don’t poop don’t poop don
7/6 2024
—
.
Double butt shot. Putting up the butt signal.
7/6 2024
—
.
Gave myself a cry, looking at old goat videos. Almost twenty years old, all the love all the days, the weight of the years. It’s not fair that their lives are so short and mine is so long. I miss life in low definition. You look back on the scrapbooks and you remember all the good times. And you forget all the bad. Was I better off back then? Was I happier? I could see, but what did I have to look forward to. Ah well. The mind’s a funny place.
8/6 2024
—
.
It was putting this video together that got me crying. Looking back at the old days, the frist days. Twenty years ago. The beginning of my goat journey, with Mads, Mathilde and Magnethe. The first playground. Looking at the videos I ache to be there. All the years, all the people,. all the animals. Back then there were horses and sheep, a big pig like Esther, geese and ducks. Sunny rolling hills. The Lassepladsen sign, the pizza oven, the little red house. And my goat friends. Loving animals is a curse and a blessing.
Looking at the old video folder there are videos from when I started losing my sight too, closeup of dying eyes, the CCTV they got me, trying on the filter glasses for the first time. Feels like another timeline, another me. Another life.
It’s hard not to feel sad over all the lost goats. Been feeling a lot of sadness and regret and nostalgia today. It’s hard not to wonder, if I had been a more capable human, if I had been able to do more, would it have made a difference. Like Mathilde, who was scared of humans when I started visiting but who I won over. But I only got a couple of years with her, one day I was just told that she was leaving. I don’t even really know why she had to go. I know me becoming part of the place had an influence in changnig some things, I’m pretty sure before I was there it was just standard practice to just have goat kids and then when they got too big ship them off to the slaughterhouse, as awful as that is. I think it was because of me bonding so much with them that the staff started making an effort to find homes for them or keep them when possible. It’s hard to think of all the kids and goats that left. For unfair reasons, for no reasons, for other homes. Every goat mattered to me and it was always heartbreaking to say goodbye.
I remember so vividly the day in late May 2008 when I saw on the grass field with Mads. Our last day together. He could barely get up and walk. They told me he had a tumor under a shoulder or something like that. But other than that he was still in good shape and lively and hungry and funny and loving. It was never in the cards, but I can’t help thinking of some of you facebook friends who would have done all you could to get surgery or whatever might help. I don’t know if there was anything that could have helped him, but i know veterinary surgery would not be considered. He was my first really close goat friend, my best bud. And I sat with him and had to say goodbye.
I wish I could have done better for all the goats that I had to say goodbye to, and the ones I didn’t get to say goodbye to. I wish I could sit with Mads in the sun again.
I’m glad the new playgrounds don’t breed the goats anymore. As much as I miss goat kids, I am glad things aren’t run like that anymore.
After Mads and Mathilde were gone Magnethe was the big force in my goat life for a long itme. Eight or nine years I think. Looking through the old videos I see the first one of Mio appearing in the pen. Back then I had no idea how important she would become to me and my life. Magnethe eventually got sick and passed and her son Bob died in a tragic accident. And that was the end of those family lines, at our place at least. Then Mio took over as queen, with her Mia as princess and more sweet kids over the years.
Now that line is gone too. Although there must be some of the family alive out in the world. Surely. Peanut and Popcorn. Was Popcorn neutered before he left? I am not even sure. I know Peanut was. But Popcorn might have had kids. And some of the earlier kids that were rehomed might have had kids. Who knows. I hope there’s still something of Mio and Mia’s line out there. And some of Magnethe’s. Maybe Mathilde had babies after she left us. Who knows.
I suppose it’s silly to care about all that. They’re just goats. Haha. Yeah I know you know I don’t mean that. I know you know and understand.
Every time I had to say goodbye to a goat it felt like the end of the world. And some of them, especially when they died unexpectedly, it felt like there was no way to go on. How do you go back when Mads is no longer there, how do you adjust. How do you adjust when Mio is just gone. When Mia is no longer there. It feels like you can’t go on, like there is no tomorrow.
And yet a tomorrow comes. That streak hasn’t been broken yet. I still get the feeling that I can’t go on, more and more lately. The world is getting to be such an ugly place. Humanity is a cesspool and I less and less want to be a part of it. If I didn’t have our three current little ladies I don’t know if there would be a tomorrow. It still feels like a roll of the dice some days. I guess we’ll see when the sun rises.
Sorry to go on and on.
I did get on the bike for an hour twenty. Cried again while biking and thinking of goats and regrets.
Going to have some soup now and wait for tomorrow. Thank you everyone for listening and caring and being there to help me have a tiny bit of faith in humanity and some community that bleats the language of my heart.
8/6 2024
—
.
Well, another tomorrow did come.
I had a lucid dream last night. It’s been so long since the last time I had one of those. I used to have them all the time when my sleeping schedule was all wacky. Now they’re rare. It’s hard to explain the magical feeling of being in a dream and knowing you’re in a dream. I love it.
Oh and here’s a goatlog I didn’t get around to posting yesterday because I was drowning in sadness and nostalgia. Cue the present.
9/6 2024
—
.
Compact Sky.
9/6 2024
—
.
Luna with a little example of the ‘death nap’. I just think it’s cute when they lay with their legs out like that. It’s mostly Luna who does it I think.
9/6 2024
—
.
.
—
That’s all for now.