Today will be a good day. Happy Mio Monday everyone.

15/7 2019
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goatlog

15/7 2019
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I wonder if my neighbours think I’m keeping goats in my apartment. Gotta remember to turn the volume down when I’m editing goat videos.
15/7 2019
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It’s weird how so often I see posts that are several days old come up in my feed because other people comment on them. But I didn’t see the posts when they were originally posted. When I go to my feed I see the same posts over and over and over, like there’s nothing new being posted. Why can’t Facebook show me the posts when they’re being posted instead of 3 days later when a friend comments on them? I hate this algorithmed dystopian future where machines try to tell me what’s imporant to me. There was a time when you could say “go to google and type in XYZ and go to page 3 and look at the first result how funny is that?!”. You can’t do that anymore because google is tracking your every move and tailoring the results to what it thinks is important to you. I’m on a Danish IP so I get Danish results even though I have told it I want English results. I don’t want your algorithm trying to guess what I want, while in the background profiling me to sell my privacyu to the ad networks.
Anyway, rant over.
15/7 2019
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Here’s some quality goat content. Hope your aligorithm likes goats! Nuller’s not too big to stand on my back yet. But it is getting close. He’s gotten quite big.

15/7 2019
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HellooOOoo ladies. Resident skirt-chaser Milo put on his eau de buck perfume and is ready for a night on the town.

15/7 2019
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Today will be a good day. HappY Yogi Day everyone.

16/7 2019
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Good goat times today. Started out grey and kinda chilly. Took a long time before the sun came out and it started feeling a little summery. I know I commplained about the heatwave when we had it, but now it feels more like autumn and I’d like summer to be above 20C/68F please. Can’t the weather just be 100% perfect all the time, is that too much to ask?
Anyway, the goating was good. We went around the block and the goats snarfed all the green they could get their snouts into. Nice human visitors too. There was a mom who had to keep telling her little girl to be calm and slow when approaching the goats. The girl kept ignoring her and just running around laughing at the goats. Cute. And then there was a family, I guess, who I think were Finnish. They spoke a language that sounded Finnish to me. But a couple of them also spoke Danish. They were very nice, we talked a bit about the goats and they had a sweet boy who got to pet them. Unfortunately I was distractedf or a moment and didn’t realise that he was heading over to Milo.. and Milo did his thing. Gave him a little push. The boy fell over in the sand and started crying. He wasn’t hurt at all, but it’s scary when the giant monster goat attacks with intent to savagely eat the innocent sacrificial baby human. Oh dear. I gotta pay more attention.
I also had to pay attention to Mia. Becaus the Fins had a couple of dogs. They were very cute, very small, very well behaved and on leashes. They didn’t even bark at the goats. Maybe that’s why the goats weren’t scared of them. Normally they’re scared by dogs of all sizes. But I think Mia might have given them a headbutt if she’d gotten close. Bceause she’s the protector of the flock and she’s much bigger and probably would have given them a lesson in who’s in charge. So I made sure to keep her back. Sky went all the way over to the dogs though and was literally whiskers to whiskers with one of them. Sniffing at its face. Very cute.
Lots of fun today.
16/7 2019
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Sky’s got a mouthful!

16/7 2019
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I once made the pizza run in 12 parsecs
16/7 2019
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Milo’s got a mouthful too

16/7 2019
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Humans are the worst. Even with plenty of waste bins everywhere, people still just throw garbage. Everywhere. Trash. Everywhere. I don’t understand. I would never just throw trash on the ground. If I have trash and there’s no bin, I carry the trash until I get to a bin. Is that abnormal these days? Is it normal to just throw shit on the ground even when you’re next to a bin?
Of course I’m such a lame goody two shoes. Today in the supermarket a woman had her credit card declined. And I was already adding up in my head if I could afford to pay for her stuff. Turned out she had cash, so it wasn’t necessary. Good thing too, if I’d paid for her stuff she might have wanted to pay me back and asked for my phone number or something. Ick, human contact. Dodged that bullet.
It just seems like such a harsh, bitter world these days. Sometimes when I have my skylight window thing open I hear kids outside, and they’re like little kids playing but then they’ll say the meanest cursewordy things to each other. And there’s crime and hatred and gangs and drugs and the leader of the free world is just openly racist and sometimes it’s just really hard to keep remembering the good things in the world adn the good people, because everything seems like shit. Trash everywhere. And I looak at the world and I want to do a Christna Bale meltdown. And it feels like everything is getting worse and I don’t want to be part of it.
So anyway, I should probably remember to breathe.

16/7 2019
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Gotta remember the good things in the world.
And now I’m off to bed, to dream myself into a better world in the offreality colonies.

16/7 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Hump Day everyone.

17/7 2019
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goatlog

17/7 2019
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You know, my birthday is coming up in less than a year. If you want to book Dominic to make a video saying “not Penny’s goat” and send it to me, I wouldn’t object.
link: Dominic Monaghan on cameo
17/7 2019
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If you want to have Mia send you a birthday greeting or a good luck wish or something like that, you can book her for the low cost of ONE MILLION PEANUTS, price not negotiable.

17/7 2019
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In today’s news, Trump leads a crowd chanting ‘send her back’ about American congresswoman, and Rand Paul blocks 911 victim compensation.
But at least you’re not literal nazis! *slow clap*
Whether Trump is followed by a Democrat or Republican, they’re going to have a fun time restoring America’s standing in the civilized world. Don’t worry, you already have Russia and North Korea on your side, i’m sure the rest of the world will fall in line.
18/7 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Thor from 2008.

18/7 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Ping and Pong from 2016.

19/7 2019
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Good goat times today. I needed that. I was supposed to go yesterday, but couldn’t. Because I couldn’t. One of those days when I couldn’t. So I spent the day and night in bed, and did have many wonderful dreams. Which was good. But it was even better to have wonderful goats today. Bit of a grey day, a few raindrops here and there. A humid warmth. Looks like we’ll be getting summer heat next week, though.
And the goats were good, we went around the block and did our best to annihilate all greens in our path. Said hi to a few families. Then back to the pen to relax. I was sitting in the shelter, out of the slight rain, and Nuller came over. You can tell what’s on his mind when his eyes start darting up to my shoulders. It’s very easy to see what he’s planning. The problem with the shetler is that it isn’t very tall… can you guess what happened? Yes, he jumped up on my shoulders and knocked his head right up into the ceiling. Bonk. Haha. Good thing their heads are built for headbutting. He was fine, and five seconds later he tried again and made it up there. No stopping that kid.
19/7 2019
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Nuller! Oh lord. I haven’t seen him go to the milk bar in a month or more. I though he was done with that. Sheesh. What a piggy. I can’t imagine Lily has much milk left for him. But Nuller definitely feels entitled to everything that’s coming to him, be it milk or treats or cuddles. Spoiled little baby. I wonder how that happened..

19/7 2019
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I had a religious experience at the supermarket today. Chocolate was 50% off.
Haha, no. There was a lady ahead of me in the queue who took an interest in me. And my blindness. She was short and stocky, reminded me of that old lady from Poltergeist. And apparently she wanted to pray for my eyes or something. It was a little hard to understand her, I think she was fighting a stutter. And talking lowly. And I was trying to be polite but also give off the vibe that I don’t like when humans talk to me. She said she was going to a birthday party tomorrow and there would be a lot of christians there and I guess they’d pray for me. So I suspect I’ll wake up tomorrow with perfect vision, glory hallelujer.
Well, I shouldn’t be snarky. It’s nice that she wanted to do something good for me. She even asked if I didn’t want her phonenumber or something. Not sure if she was out to save my soul, give me a support system or just to push her religion on me. She was nice enough, but I don’t really like when people get up close and look at my eyes like they can do something about it. I have doctors for that, you’re not going to solve my blindness by the power of christ and laying on hands.
Of course she didn’t know that I have raging social phobia and wasn’t enjoying the attention. But I mean, if you see someone in the supermarket with a broken leg you don’t stop them and stare at their leg, do you?
19/7 2019
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Hanging with the Sassymeister

19/7 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Herman from 2014.

20/7 2019
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Totes scomfy

20/7 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

21/7 2019
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Feeling out of phase with the alignment
21/7 2019
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Also, I think my upstairs neighbour is trying to saw through his floor. Guess I should put a kettle on.
21/7 2019
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What did you do, Milo?
Milo swears it was like that when he got here. Not sure what happened. I’d like to think it was an accident. But knowing humans, it probably wasn’t.

21/7 2019
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Just hanging around

21/7 2019
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Milo leaning on Mia leaning on me. Let’s hope I don’t fall..

21/7 2019
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Chilloutzone

21/7 2019
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That’s all for now.

nullerama

8/7 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Mio Monday everyone.

8/7 2019
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Good goat times today. I had a doctor’s appointment in the morning. Big yearly checkup. I’ll get the results in a few days, but the ekg heart monitor thing was fine. ‘Let’s see if your heart is beating’, as the doc said. Luckily it was.
And then on to the goats, the thing that keeps my heart beating Bit of a cold morning, but we got some good sunshine and I think we just reached the magic 20C/68F, It started raining just as I was leaving, but that was ok. I can take the rain better than the goats can…
I took them all down to the alt pen across the path. I tihnk that’s the first time the newbies have been in there. Lots and lots of fresh, untouched greens. Perfect. It was nice for me too, I could sit down and relax. Because there’s a fence around it I didn’t have to worry about keeping constant supervision on everyone. No way for them to go where they’re not allowed, no way for them to get split up, get lost, encounter dogs, or anything of that. Just greens as far as the eye can see. The only downside was that some guy with a leafblower, or something like that, was working outside the pen and making a lot of noise. But it wasn’t too bad. And the goats got a big fill of green for their tummies.
Then back to the regular pen to relax. Nice and quiet. I did have a little camera msihap. I set it up to record and then I went and sat on the bench, Mia came over and sat down next to me. She was resting her head on my chest, I was giving her kissies on the forehead, Milo was standing on the ground getting rubs between his horns. It was a perfect, sweet scene. Eventually I went to retrieve my camera. And found that the battery was dead and I hadn’t gotten any of the supersweet stuff on tape. D’oh. And then I had to get a new battery from my backpack. And the minute I go rummaging in my backpack all the goats come running, hoping for treats. So Mia got up and the sweet scene was over. I did try to recreate it, but this time instead of sitting down next to me, Mia just sneezed me in the face. Sheesh. Well, I hope I got that on film, at least that would be a funny clip.
And my heart is bleating.
8/7 2019
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Goats in the alt pen. This part was a bit of an open area, and the grass not the greatest there. Horse territory. But the alt pen was full of trees and bushes with lots and lots of green leaves.

8/7 2019
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Dat green tho

8/7 2019
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Milo is lucky he’s so cute. Not only does viciously attack little children, and shamelessly try to pull the skirts of poor innocent womenfolk, but he also constantly tries to pick my pockets. It’s cute and funny, but it does also get a little tiresome sometimes when you’re sitting and wanting to relax and he’s constantly trying his luck. He got lucky today. When I was sitting with Mia on the bench. I always have a bag of pasta/peanuts and a bag of raisins in my pocket. He managed to pull the raisin bag out of my pocket. And then he wrestled it around in his vicious toothgrip, like a lion wrestling a gazelle in its jaws. By the time I got it back from him, half of the raisins were scattered on the ground. Quickly all the goatlions descended upon the raisinmeats. Bloodbath in the undergrowth.

8/7 2019
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Unlike the vicious Milobeast, Lily here is a little sweetheart. She DID however almost knock me out today. I was packing my bag before leaving and I had put it on the roof of the shelter so I could pack it without any of the goats getting to it. Lily still tried, she jumped up with her front legs on me.. and got a good hit right in my family jewels with one hoof. Oof. My heart might be working okay, but maybe I should get the doc to check my lower bits.

8/7 2019
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Another one from the alt pen. So much green, which way to go?
Well, I am now going to go off to bed. With my bleating hard and cracked jewels. I’ll have to get them re-appraised at the pawn sstore, they are no longer in mint condition. Anywhere, where was I? Oh yeah Denmark.

8/7 2019
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Today will be a good day. HappY Yogi Day everyone.

9/7 2019
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Got my results back from the doctor. And it’s all looking good. I can’t remember if I mentioned it on here, but there was some concern because my blood sugar levels had been rising for a while. But they put me on some fancy new meds and they have done the trick. The levels are right where they’re supposed to be now. My blood pressure is better too. So that’s fine. I do still need to get more control of my diet, because honestly it’s not going that great. But at least the measurable values are good, so that’s something. And i’ll probably lose 10 pounds if my pizza place stays on vacation..
9/7 2019
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goatlog

9/7 2019
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Look, it’s not that complicated. If staying means there’s double trouble then you leave. I don’t know why that’s such a hard decision. Trouble, or double trouble. How could you not figure that one out for yourself?!
9/7 2019
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Oh yeah, I achieved lucidicity in my dreams last night. It’s been a while. I was taking part in some kind of pub challenge with my former boss and I guess the fact that I was talking in public made me realise it couldn’t be real. “IT’S A DREAM” i screamed and then I was in a bus and stuff. Didn’t last too long, but I love that feeling of knowing I’m in a dream. It’s much better than the feeling of knowing you’re in reality.
9/7 2019
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Apparently this is Mia’s favourite place to sit now. Don’t ask me why. The goat wants what the goats wants.

10/7 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Hump Day everyone.

10/7 2019
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10/7 2019
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In the garden of eden, baby

10/7 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s 3B from 2006.

11/7 2019
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goatlog

11/7 2019
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Not feeling super great. I stayed in bed for like.. 28 hours. Or more. So many dreams, I love my dreams, I love that magic world. But then you have to get back to the real one… I guess staying in bed that long is the cause of my current headache. And the sadness? I don’t know. Feeling like a useless humanoid, broken mind in a broken body on a broken planet. But on the plus side, I invited pizza to my pity party, and the new footie season starts today. Keep that humanoid body going
11/7 2019
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Goat thoughts

11/7 2019
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A special preview of an upcoming video, exclusive first look for the premium subscribers.
This was pretty cute. Lily was the only goat at the fence when I arrived. Look at her turning her head back to the others and bleating at them like “Guys, he’s here!”
link: morning bleat video
11/7 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s Popcorn from 2015.

12/7 2019
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Good goat times today. Grey morning. Not superhot, but quite humid. An icky feeling, and I was still feeling icky already, hurting back, lurking depression. Blegh. I’m glad I managed to drag myself out though. It’s always good to spend time with the goaties. Although there was a litte incident there too. I decided to take them down to the alt pen again, since I wasn’t feeling so great. Just wanted to sit back and relax and let the goats get their greens. It started out just fine. Hanging out, getting greens. I wanted to get the goats to move further into the pen, so I walked ahead. And then I saw dog, a fairly big dog, walking along the fence outside the pen. It went around the corner. And then I heard the gates being pushed open. They closed but not locked, and closed in a way that if you push on them from the outside they’d open up. So I heard taht and then the goats came running to me. I went over to the gate, and it was open ajar. No sign of the dog though. I am not sure what happened. It looked like it was a dog running free. Maybe it pushed on the gate and startled itself by the noise and the gate swinging open? Or maybe there was someone with it who had it on a leash and pulled it away? Or did it go into the pen? But surely I would have seen it again or it would have barked at the goats or something.. I just don’t know. The goats were pretty spooked, though. And so was I. So we ran up to the regular goat pen and I got them all safely in there. Then I walked back down to the alt pen to check it out. I still couldn’t see any dog or anything. I closed the gate to that pen and went back. Still pretty rattled, so we spent the rest of the day in the pen there. And had lots of good time there. But I still can’t help but wonder what happened. Was it a dog? There’s a big park area beyond the pens, I have other times had enocunters with animals that I couldn’t identify. I don’t know if there might be wild animals there. But it did look like a dog. Was there someone with it? Was it going along the fence to get to the gate to get to the goats? What would have happened? Gurgh. I don’t like it. If we go back to the alt pen I’ll have to close the gate in a way so it can’t be pushed open from the outside. I mean, the horses are down there all the time (they’re on vacation right now), so its should be safe in there…I don’t know.
On a brighter note, we had some nice human visitors at the goat pen fence. A family from Norway I think. They called the goats “geiter”. Must have been Norwegian. They fed hay to the goats. And a couple of older ladies that I have met several times before. They usually come over to chat about the goats and pet them. It’s nice to have those kind of regular visitors that you get to know.
And then a hurty hurty walk home where I had to make several stops along the way to lean over to stretch out my back. And walking on zombie legs. Good thing it’s the weekend.
12/7 2019
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Here we are in the alt pen. Looking out. It’s funny, if you close a gate then the goats just kinda wanna escape. Even if they’re locked in a pen full of great green stuff. They still go to the gate and stare at the outside world.

12/7 2019
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Sassy and Nuller, back in the safety of our own pen. But you know, the grass is still greener on the other side
EDIT: Wait, that’s Lily, not Nuller. Lily and Sassy.
EDIT EDIT: Wait, that’s Nuller, not Sassy. Lily and Nuller. Jesus, go home eyes, you’re drunk.

12/7 2019
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Well, it’s time to shut it down for the day. My eyes, mind, body and soul are a little frazzled. Frail and bedazzled. Gonna go sleep. Hopefully not for 28 hours, but for more than your average bear. Hold my beer, boo. Bottom’s up, break a leg. BINGO!
To play us out, here’s Disneyland After Dark with a good, old classic Danish hymn.

12/7 2019
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Today will be a good day. Here’s baby Peanut from 2015.

13/7 2019
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goatlog

13/7 2019
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Hold my calls, please. I’m waiting to hear back from the Jerk Store, RE: Their current inventory.
13/7 2019
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I love these two cuties, Milo and Sky.

13/7 2019
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Today will be a good day. Happy Funday everyone.

14/7 2019
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Maybe Trump thinks women are androids with touch-screen interfaces i don’t know, what wast he questio?
14/7 2019
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Lily’s on the bench, Nuller’s in the branches.

14/7 2019
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Foregroundmia backgroundsassy

14/7 2019
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I’m trying to stay off the politics, but as the week draws to an end I feel like I just have to make it clear that I still think that Donald Trump is a sack of shit in a shirt and if you support him you’re a nazi, a literal nazi with swastika armband and eye patch and peg leg and parrot on your shoulder, wait that’s a pirate. But my point still stands. If you’re willing to empower someone like Trump to get your politics through, then how’s that different than Hitler? It’s not. It’s the same, ltierally exactly the same. You support putting kids in cages, don’t tell me you’re not a literal nazi. Nazi nazi nazi. *points finger* look it’s a nazi. 1000/24 nazi. Klop.
14/7 2019
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o hai. is goat

14/7 2019
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That’s all for now.